Oh, Those Crazy Cullens
by bradensmama
Summary: Yet another AIM conversation. Sucky summary on our part. This has been written by two best friends. Enjoy! Artichokie&Squirt Formally recognised as meloveUlongtime!
1. Humiliation

**Disclaimer:** **We do not own any of Twilight. The wonderful Stephenie Meyer does. And we thank her everyday!**

_My friend and I are happy to annouce that we are doing an AIM conversation. We're crazy. Here is Oh, Those Crazy Cullens by Artichokie and Squirt. (Rebecca and Liliana)_  


* * *

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter One: Humiliation

List of characters;;

vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie

_vampcrzy has signed on_

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Hey honey.

**tomanyvoices:** Hello my love

**vampcrzy:** What are you doing today?

**tomanyvoices:** Sitting around, missing you like crazy

_Jazzyfest has signed on_

**Jazzyfest:** BELLA! Will you just come visit Edward? I hate the feelings I am getting from him!

**vampcrzy:** But, I'm doing homework. I miss you too Ed. sigh

**tomanyvoices:** Why don't I come over and help you with homework, my love?

**vampcrzy:** Its just English. We have the paper due remember?

**Jazzfest:** You have to do an English paper! Lol

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Shush, Jazzy. I did too. I did it already. Bella, you get an A. Lets go shopping!

**vampcrzy:** I don't like shopping. You know that. -.-

**tomanyvoices:** I never got the point of "lol", I mean the original mean is lots of love. But I see no point in it..

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** WEEEEEE

**icdafuture:** I think that Edward is going to start ranting about chatspeak now. rolls eyes

**vampcrzy:** I love you, Edward. Hey big brother! WHEEEEE!

**tomanyvoices:** You are right Alice, and have you heard the new, "ome!" I feel stalked when I have to walk down the street and hear Jessica Stanley yell "OME!" meaning "Oh My Edward!" I FEEL STALKED!

**Mr.Macho:** Edard, I think you should roll with the flo my brotha, and HI LITTLE SISTER!

**vampcrzy:** But I like saying "OME!" pouts

**tomanyvoices:** Oh well if you would like to say it, Bella, then go ahead. I have no problem with it

**Mr.Macho:**OME!

**Jazzfest:**OME!

**icdafuture:** OME!

**tomanyvoices:** ONLY BELLA YOU IDIOTS!

**icdafuture:** This is fun!

**vampcrzy: **rotfl

**tomanyvoices:** And there is another one! No offense to you, Bella, but rotfl sounds like a drunk

man speaking pig latin.

**icdafuture:** That means "rolling on the floor laughing", Edward. Bella, maybe you shouldn't be

rolling on the floor though. You could get hurt.

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, Bella. I agree with Alice. You could get a splinter or something

**Jazzfest:** Enough with the worry, Edward!

**vampcrzy:** Damn!

**tomanyvoices: **Fine. I am getting off of here to go see my love.

**icdafuture: **Uh oh! Bella go run your hand under some water.

**vampcrzy: **The blood is making me woozy. brb.

**tomanyvoices:** I will be right over my love!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear: **Where did Edward go in a hurry?

**Mr.Macho: **To make Bella a vampire.

**mamabear: **He's going to do it now?

**vampcrzy: **HE'S COMING TO TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE NOW?! YAY ME!

**Jazzfest: **No. Emmett is being a moron.

**vampcrzy:** pouts Hey Esme. Jasper, you're such a buzzkill.

**Jazzfest:** Well I didn't want to feel excitment from you. Or anger from Edward. I hate those two

combined

**icdafuture: **Watch it, Bella. I'll attack you when you're a vampire. Or better yet, I'll kidnap you and

take you shopping!

**vampcrzy:** sticks tongue out at Jasper Meanie! Ooo! Ed's here!

**Jazzfest:** Ugh. Seriously Bella, keep the emotions DOWNNN!

**Mr.Macho:** What is your problem today jazz? You are being a complete...evil plans start to form

in his head Uhm.. I..have to go water some roses!

**mamabear:** How can you feel her emotions over here?

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** I don't know, I think because she has been around here and around us so much I got

accustomed to her feelings

**vampcrzy:** Is that even possible?

**vampcrzy:** Um...so...I'm going to go...leave...for...awhile. : leaves to spend time with Edward

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**mamabear:** Has anyone seen Rose?

**Jazzfest:** No, She might be down in the garage. Her and Emmett got in a little spat today and I

think she is doing something to his jeep

**mamabear:** What were they fighting about? :-/

**Jazzfest:** Uhm, I think he broke her brush or some cosmetic type thing..

**icdafuture:** Emmett used her hairbrush and then broke it. She was furious.

**Jazzfest:** Yeah that is what happend

_Mr.Macho has signed on _

**Mr.Macho:** MY JEEP IS PINK AND PURPLE!

**icdafuture:** Remind me to give Rose a highfive when I see her.

**Mr.Macho:** NOT FUNNNNNY! I need a hug

**mamabear:** I think you might have deserved it. You can come here and give me a hug though.

**Mr.Macho:** And something to annoy Edward..

**Mr.Macho: **Thank you esme i would love a hug

**icdafuture:** Why Edward?

**Mr.Macho:** He is fun to annoy

**icdafuture:** You know that you have to block your mind. I wonder how Bella and Edward I doing.

giggles

**Mr.Macho:** What are they doing?

**icdafuture:** You'll know when one of 'em get on.

_Angelface has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** I don't wanna know! Jasper help me prank Edward!

**Mr.Macho:** Hey Babe!

**Angelface:** EMMETT! What did you do with my mirror?

**Mr.Macho:** Nothing...

**Angelface:** Wait until I get my hands on you.

_Angelface has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** NOOOOO! SAVE ME!

**Mr.Macho:** My name is emmett and I like to play with barbie and bratz dolls

**icdafuture:** Haha. I wish Edward was on to see that one.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** What did I miss?

**icdafuture:** Rosalie painted Emmett's jeep and then she made him say, "My name is Emmett and I like to play with Barbie and Bratz dolls."

**tomanyvoices:** And did anybody get a picture of the jeep?

_Angelface signed on_

**icdafuture:** Rose took one before she signed on earlier.

**Jazzfest:** What about uploading it on myspace?

**Angelface:** I'm uploading it to facebook right now. XD

**Mr.Macho:** I have a dirty little secrettt!

**Angelface:** We all know you like to wear thongs, Emmett Dear.

**Mr.Macho:** And I am debating on wheter I should tell you guys. And it is your secret rose

**Angelface:** My secret?

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. Rose sleeps with a Miss Piggy blankie every night!

**mamabear:** Stop toturing your wife Emmett!

**icdafuture:** She also sleeps with a big teddy bear.

**Mr.macho:** Then she shouldn't have painted my jeep pink and purple. And I am that teddy bear

Alice!

**icdafuture:** That means you sleep with a Miss Piggy blankie every night too!

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Hey guys! What have I missed?

**Mr.macho:** No I Don't! I have a "Banana's in Pajama's" pj's that I have stashed somewhere.

Where NOOOBODY shall find it. heeheehee

**Angelface:** I know where they are. smug face

**icdafuture:** You might want to hide those better Emmett.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay Rose. Then where are they?

**mamabear:** I'm going to get off now. Behave children.

**Mr.Macho: **Bye Esme! Thank you for the hug Esme, thank you for loving me

_mamabear has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** brb. Charlie is home.

**tomanyvoices:** I will be waiting for you love!

**icdafuture: **So, when are you going to change her?

**tomanyvoices: **What are you takling about alice?!

**Angelface:** You know exactly what she's talking about, Eddie.

**tomanyvoices:** not until she agres to marry me.

**icdafuture:** I thought she already did. confused

**tomanyvoices:** I havent asked her yet! Now stop talking about it before she comes back..

Yes! That godzilla movie was great for the 1000000th time!

**icdafuture:** But I saw it! She says "yes". She's working on dinner, anyways. She won't be back for

a little. giggles

**Mr.Macho:** Godzilla freaked me out man!

**Angelface:** Emmett, baby.

**Mr.Macho:** Yes, Rosie?

**Angelface:** I'm really sorry about your Jeep and making you say that. I'm going to go lay down now. wink,wink

**Mr.macho:** Well guys! I think I had to much grizzley! I am just going to take a fake slumber..

_Angelface has signed off_

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** Hey guys. I'm back.

**tomanyvoices:** Bella!

**icdafuture:** Ask her now!

**tomanyvoices:** Not over aim!

**vampcrzy:** Edward! Ask me what?

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, can you come over to my house for a bit?

**icdafuture:** What kind of panties you wear.

**tomanyvoices:** Alice!

**vampcrzy:** Alice you can answer that.

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, I have something serious I would like to ask you. I think you should come over

**icdafuture: **oO

**vampcrzy:** Call and ask Charlie if I can. I don't want to go down there in what I'm wearing.

**tomanyvoices: **what are you wearing?

**icdafuture:** You don't want to know.

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, love, what are you wearing

**vampcrzy:** blushes

**tomanyvoices:** Alice..what is Bella wearing?

**icdafuture: **She's wearing a pink bunny suit and modeling in the mirror. lol.

**tomanyvoices:** I gotta see this..be right back!

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Why do I hear banging coming from Rosalie and Emmett's room?

**tomanyvoices:** Please don't ask. And Alice, I got a picture!

**icdafuture:** woohoo! Upload it on myspace!

**mamabear:** I hope that they stop before Carlisle gets home.

**tomanyvoices:** I will send it to you via e-mail

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** Hey All!

**mamabear:** You seem perky, son.

**Mr.Macho:** heehee

**vampcrzy:** I hate you, Edward!

**vampcrzy: **Don't come to my house tonight!

**tomanyvoices:** I love you Bella!

**vampcrzy:** I'll have my window closed.

**tomanyvoices:** It was Emmett.

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**icdafuture:** OME! No she didn't!

**Mr.Macho:** What the hell did you guys do to her?!

**icdafuture:** Edward took a picture of her modeling her pink bunny suit and uploaded it to myspace!

**mamabear:** You did WHAT?!

**Mr.Macho:** There is nothing wrong or embarassing for wearing a pink bunny suit! I have a green

one!

**icdafuture:** She opens her window a little after 9. You were already waiting for her to open it,

Edward.

**mamabear:** At least she forgives you.

_Angelface has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** thnks alice.. I am getting off here to go apologize

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Angelface:** I think I'm ready for round two Emmett.

**mamabear:** WHAT?!

**Mr.Macho:** Not right now, Rose! It is green bunny suit time!

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Is Edward on?

**Jazzfest:** No he got off about 2 minutes ago

**vampcrzy:** Good. So, what was it that he really wanted to ask me.

**Jazzfest:** I don't know...

**icdafuture:** He wants to...

**vampcrzy:** Um...he's here. I'll be on tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** So is he asking her tonight?

**icdafuture: **No. He just wants her to love him again.

**Jazzfest:** So when is he asking her?

**Angelface:** Isn't Carlisle supposed to be home?

**icdafuture:** Probably tomorrow. He wants to do something really special. He'll be making

breakfast. He'll be back later tonight to give us details.

**Jazzfest:** Well as long as he is asking her soon.

**mamabear:** I think Carlisle is home!

**icdafuture:** Why's that, Jazzy?

**jazzfest:** Too much lust!

**Angelface:** Emmett, I'm going to 'lay down' now. Meet me in our room in a little bit. Carlisle is

home, so it has to be quiet.

**Mr.Macho:** Let me get outta this green bunny suit. After I give Carlisle a bigggg hug. Bye All!

**icdafuture:** Would you like to go hunting Jazzy? It'll get you out of the house.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

_mamabear has signed off_

**Jazzfest: **Yes please, I am slightly thirsy..

**Angelface: **Bye guys. See you later.

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_Angelface has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. We'll be updating soon. Please R&R.  
Love, Rebecca and Liliana (Artichokie&Squirt)_


	2. Proposed Yet?

__

Woot. Chapter 2. We had fun with this chapter. Not as much fun as we had with chapter 1 though. Make sure that when you're done, R&R. We love you! Artichokie&Squirt

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Two - Proposed Yet?

List of characters;;

vampcrzy/bellacullen - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle

_icdafuture has signed on_

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Bella! Has he asked you yet?

**vampcrzy:** Asked me what?

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Alice!

**icdafuture:** Yes, Eddie?

**tomanyvoices:** Shut up!

**vampcrzy:** Baby! I miss you. Why weren't you here when I woke up?

**icdafuture:** I just saw that Charlie was proposing to me. oO

**tomanyvoices:** I miss you too my sweet! I am soo sorry. I had to do a quick hunting trip

**vampcrzy:** Why?

**tomanyvoices:** I was getting slightly hungry...

**icdafuture:** cough Liar! cough

**tomanyvoices:** Alice!

**icdafuture:** Just ask her already!

**vampcrzy:** Dammit! Ask me what?! This is driving me crazy!

**tomanyvoices:** Bella..do you want to go to our meadow?

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Have you proposed to her yet, Edward?

**vampcrzy:** oO

**tomanyvoices:** No!

**mamabear:** Bye!

_mamabear has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** I'm not even going to ask. Is it suppoed to be sunny today, hon?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes.

**vampcrzy:** Well, come and get me.

**tomanyvoices:** You got it!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** He's proposing? oO

**icdafuture:** I have no clue what you're talking about, Silly.

_tomanyvoices has signed on _

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, I am here

**vampcrzy:** If you're here, how are you talking to me on AIM?

**tomanyvoices:** Cell phone

**vampcrzy:** Okay! I'll get off then.

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Did you remember the ring?

**tomanyvoices:** I wouldn't forget it. gotta go!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**icdafuture:** I'm going to have a new shopping buddy!

**icdafuture:** Hey Jazzy baby!

**Jazzfest:** No more shopping!

**icdafuture:** Why? pouts

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Did he remember the ring?

**jazzfest:** Yes he remembered it. And Alice, I don't like Victoria Secret

**icdafuture:** That's why I have a new shopping SISTER!

**mamabear:** OME! You shop at Victoria Secret?

**Jazzfest:** Bella doesn't like shopping.

**icdafuture:** Don't let Edward see that 'ome', he'll flip out!

**mamabear:** I'll make sure that she goes shopping with you, Ally.

**icdafuture:** Thanks Esme! I wonder if its happened yet.

**Jazzfest:** I hope so. Just so we can get it over with. And I agree with Alice, Esme. If he sees that

"OME!" he will rant.

_Angelface has signed on_

**Angelface:** Has he proposed yet?

**Jazzfest:** Nobody knows..Alice do you see them coming home anytime soon?

**icdafuture:** No. I don't see...anything.

**Jazzfest:** Is something happening? Did she say yes? The suspense is killing me!

**icdafuture:** I'm not sure. I think one of the dogs are over there.

**Jazzfest:** Why can't they sell the puppies in a window or something? They are getting on my

nerves.

**Angelface:** You guys are boring me. I'm going to go look at myself in the mirror.

_Angelface has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I agree. OOO. I'm getting something!!

**Jazzfest:** What is it?!

**icdafuture:** They're coming home!

**Jazzfest:** Is there anger and hostility or love? Please say love! And an engagment in the near future!

**icdafuture:** She said yes! They'll be here in a few moments!

**mamabear:** Get everyone on!

**Jazzfest:** Yes! That is terrific! We should spray them with silly string!

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

_Angelface has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** I saw the word Silly String!

**Angelface:** I heard Alice giggling. What happened? Oh, I just saw Edward pull up.

**Mr.Macho:** Be Right Back!

_vampgod has signed on_

**mamabear:** He proposed!

**Jazzfest:** She said Yes!

_bellacullen has signed on_

**bellacullen:** Hey guys! I'm on Edward's phone.

**Mr.Macho:** BELLLLAA!

**bellacullen:** Why did Emmett just spray us with silly string?

**vampgod:** Hello Bella

**Mr.Macho:** heeheeheeeee

**bellacullen:** Hey Carlisle! Be right back.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**icdafuture:** They're going to kiss, but he's going to back away about five seconds afterwards.

**Angelface:** DID YOU ASK HER YET!?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes I did.

**icdafuture:** I see futures disappearing. :

**tomanyvoices:** What do you mean, Alice?

**icdafuture:** I was looking forward to asking Bells to go shopping with me, but it disappeared after I asked her.

**bellacullen:** I'm not going shopping with you!?

**Angelface:** that was a fast change of screen names.

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, are you planning on visiting Jacob anytime soon?

**bellacullen:** No. Why?

**Mr.Macho:** Cause your future went bye bye

**bellacullen:** Just mine?

**icdafuture:** Nope.

**tomanyvoices:** Then whos?

**icdafuture:** Everyone who is on tomorrow.

**Mr.Macho:** Who invited pooches to the chat room?

**bellacullen:** They're still my friends guys.

**Angelface:** BO-RING!

_Angelface has signed out_

**mamabear: **Carlisle, lets go hunting. Will you kids be okay?

**vampgod:** I don't want anything broken!

**vampgod:** That goes for you Emmett

**Mr.Macho:** What do you mean daddy dearest? I am the golden child

**icdafuture:** My ass you're the golden child.

**Mr.Macho:** Heehee, well. I know I am the golden child. But whatevsssss. Rose is calling. Bye

everyone!

_Mr.macho signed off_

**mamabear:** Watch those two, Edward.

_mamabear has signed off_

**tomanyvoices:** I would rather not watch them..

**vampgod:** Edward, mind your mother.

_vampgod has signed off_

**bellacullen:** Can you kidnap me tonight? bats eyelashes Why am I asking you on here. You're

like 5 feet from me. Oh well. Kidnap me please!

**tomanyvoices:** It would be my pleasure!

_tomanyvoices has sined off_

**bellacullen:** Jasper, we're leaving to go get my stuff. Bye!

_bellacullen has signed off_

**icdafuture:** WHAT ABOUT ME!?

**Jazzfest:** So Alice, wanna do something?

**icdafuture:** Like what Jazzy?

**Jazzfest:** Well since I am feeling pure boredom, I will take you shopping. My treat...

**icdafuture:** YOU'RE TAKING ME SHOPPING?! wide eyes

**Jazzfest:** I guess..

**icdafuture:** I love you, Jazzy! smooches

**Jazzfest:** I love you too Alice, lets get outta here.

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_


	3. All The Pretty Things

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Three - All The Pretty Things

List of characters;;

vampcrzy/BClovesEC - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob

_Angelface has signed on_

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** Hey Rose

**Angelface:**Why'd you leave us yesterday? Not that I'm complaining. wink

**Jazzfest:** I told Alice I would take her shopping. I was actually TIRED when we got home! And vampires don't get tired. I now know how Bella feels

**Angelface:** Did you offer to take her?

**Jazzfest:** I don't know why I did.

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:**OME! Thank you so much for taking me shopping yesterday Jazzy baby!

**Jazzfest:** No problem.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**icdafuture:** So, when are you taking me shopping again?

**tomanyvoices:**Hahahaha, Jasper you actually had to go shopping! hahahaha

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Angelface:** Hey Edward! Yeah. Jasper went shopping.

**Mr.Macho:**Hahahahah Jazzy poopoo went shopping. And I went sneaking through his room. He bought designer pants! ahahaha

_BClovesEC has signed on_

**icdafuture:** See Jazzy! I told you Emmett wouldn't make fun of you!

**tomanyvoices:** Bella! Jasper actually went shopping and bought Designer pants!

**BClovesEC:**oO

**Jazzfest:** shut up guys. There is nothing wrong with it...

**icdafuture:** Oh no.

**Mr.Macho:**Of course there isn't Jazzy. Especially when they have..Rhinestone butterflies on the butt! hahahah

**icdafuture:** You guys, our futures disappear soon. :

**Mr.Macho:** We should all sign off before the puppy gets on

_PuppyLove has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Too late.

**Mr.Macho:** Who invited pooches?!

**BClovesEC:** Sorry guys. I was talking to him on 'vampcrzy' and he wanted to be included. :

**tomanyvoices:** Hello Jacob

**PuppyLove:** Dammit, Bella! Why didn't you tell me that you were talking to the bloodsuckers! I thought you mean that you were talking to Charlie and Renee.

**BClovesEC:** I'm sorry.

**icdafuture:** Don't start with us puppy!

**Mr.Macho:** I am allergic to dogs. Especially when they smell really really bad

**tomanyvoices:** It is okay Bella, love. Have you told the dog yet about our good new?

**PuppyLove:** Well I'm allergic to anything that sucks.

**BClovesEC:** Chill out you guys! Get along. I actually asked Jake to come in here to see if he would be the best man. So, no Edward.

**PuppyLove:** WHAT?!

**tomanyvoices:** We are getting married

**PuppyLove:** You're what!?

**BClovesEC:** Stop guys! runs off crying and falls down

_BClovesEC has went away_

**icdafuture:** I think you should go calm her down, Edward. Before something does happen to her.

**Auto Response from BClovesEC:** I'm sick of all this rivalry between my family and friends. Deal with it!

**tomanyvoices:** I will. Ugh I feel terrible. Be right back

_tomanyvoices has went away_

**Angelface:** See what you've done now pup?!

**Mr.Macho:** Hey Rose. I am hungry, wanna go hunt?

**Angelface:** Okay.

_Mr.macho has signed off_

_Angelface has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I'm so alone.

**Jazzfest:** I'm here for ya doll!

**icdafuture:**Oops. Hehe. I thought you signed off. giggles

**Jazzfest:**Lol, nope. I will always be here

**icdafuture:** I wonder how Bella and Edward are doing. Oh wait! The pup's still here. Damn.

**PuppyLove:** You are all grossing me out. fakes throwing up

**Jazzfest:** Could you please be civilized, Jacob?

**PuppyLove:** Only for Bella.

**Jazzfest:** Please.

_BClovesEC has returned from away_

**BClovesEC:** If I hear you being mean to my family again, you won't have anyone to be civilized to. Yes, that is a threat.

_tomanyvoices has returned from away_

**tomanyvoices:** Sorry about telling him so quickly Bella, he was bound to find out sooner or later

**BClovesEC:** its okay, baby. I forgive you. Um...Edward.

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, love?

**BClovesEC:**Its nothing. Nevermind.

**PuppyLove:** I'm coming over, Bells. I'm sick of being here.

**BClovesEC:** No.

**tomanyvoices:** Bella please tell me. Or what if I just come over?

**icdafuture:** No fair! I was going to ask if she wanted to go shopping.

**BClovesEC:** No. I'm not in the mood. I'm kinda tired. Edward, will you come over while I take a nap? stomach rumbles

**tomanyvoices:** Of course I will, when I get over there would you like me to make you lunch?

**PuppyLove:** You can cook human food?

**BClovesEC:** Sure baby.

**PuppyLove:** You're making me sick to my stomach. You're actually going to eat something he makes? You must be brave.

**tomanyvoices:** Yeah I saw this new recipe on a cooking show, how to prepare wolf. It is very popular in Alaska.

**PuppyLove:** Blood pie?

**BClovesEC:** JACOB BLACK?!

**tomanyvoices:** Well, my love, the dog is annoying as usual so I will be over in 5 minutes.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I think I want to go hunting, Jazzy.

**BClovesEC:** Didn't you just go hunting two nights ago?

_PuppyLove has went away_

**icdafuture:** Yeah. I'm just sick of dealing with werewolves.

**Automatic Response from PuppyLove:** I will always love you Isabella Marie Swan. Don't think your father won't find out about it though. At Sam's with the brothers.

**Jazzfest:** Yeah Alice,lets go hunting.

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_BClovesEC has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_

_PuppyLove has signed off_

_

* * *

_

_Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. We were going to have one of our friends join us, but she had stuff to do. This is still an Artichokie/Squirt fanfiction._

**DISCLAIMER: Rebecca & Lil no ownny Twilight Saga. No suing, please.**


	4. Ambushed

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Four - Ambushed

List of characters;;

vampcrzy/bellalamb - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob  
ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
OMEitsSquirt/SquirtGrl - Liliana

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

_OMEitsSQUIRT has signed on_

**OMEitsSQUIRT: **Hey Artichokie!!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Hey Squirt!

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** That last chapter was really funny.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah it really was. But our future ideas are even better

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** Of course. Wait!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** What?!

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** I think something is going to happen. My heart just started beating fast! Ha.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Haha like what?

_tomany voices has signed on_

_Jazzfest has signed on_

_Mr.Macho hassigned on_

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** I had a great idea just now! I think someone should play a prank on Edward. They

should dye his hair blue! o.O

**tomanyvoices:** Who the hell are you?!

**Mr.Macho:** THATS A GREAT IDEA!

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** OME!? Um...Rebecca, do you see what I see? ITS EDWARD AND EMMETT!? AND JAZZY!? OME.

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I see that Lil! WOW!

**Jazzfest:** Who are you guys?

**vampcrzy:** I was just going to ask that!

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** Rebecca, they're talking to us. : Um...hi. I'm Liliana. And Artichokiee is Rebecca.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I see that Lil...I don't like them talking about us.

**Jazzfest:** Are you the two the made me buy designer jeans with freaking rhined stoned butterflies?!

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Guys! We're going to have HUMANS in the chat today!

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** That might have been us.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** We are those humans, Alice

**tomanyvoices:** You two are evil.

**vampcrzy: **WHICH ONE OF YOU MADE ME DRESS UP IN A PINK BUNNY COSTUME?!

**OMEitsSQUIRT: **raises hand Guilty. You have to admit that it was very funny. that and the silly

string. That was priceless!

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Hahaha! The silly string was my idea!

**icdafuture:** So, you know about us?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Yes. A good portion of the world knows what you are.

**MR.Macho:** I liked using silly string! But the green bunny suit...what the hell?!

**icdafuture:** Edward! We need to have a family meeting! If people of the world know about us, then

we might not have anywhere to go.

**Jazzfest: **Edward is pissed.

**OMEitsSQUIRT: **Nooo! I love Edward! Please don't be pissed.

**vampcrzy: **You love who now?

**OMEitsSQUIRT: **You know that I'd win if we started to fight. You're too clumsy. P

**ARTICHOKIEE: **I love Edward to! He so sexyyyyyyy

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** I know right!?

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Bella's coming over!

**tomanyvoices: **I see I am loved.

**Mr.Macho:** What about me?!

**Jazzfest:** Everything isn't about you, Emmett.

_Angelface has signed on_

**Angelface:** Hey guys! what have I missed?

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** OME! I'm in love with all three of you.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I know right? All three of them are loveableeeeee! Hi Rosalie!

**Angelface:** Who the hell are you and why are you in love with my husband?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **A lot of people love your husband..

**Angelface: **Answer my question, dammit!

_bellalamb has signed on_

**bellalamb: **I'm here guys. Edward, baby...

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, love?

**bellalamb:** Where are you? I'm in the driveway.

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** You know that y'all aren't married yet, right?!

**tomanyvoices: **I will come and get you right away, love!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well, techinicaly Lil, Edward and Bella aren't married yet. haha

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** That's what I said!

**bellalamb:** sticks tongue out Bye.

_bellalamb has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Will you write another shopping scene?! One with Bella and JAZZY!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I like that idea, Alice! And I didn't understand you at first, Lil. Haha

**Jazzfest:** NOOOOOOOO!!

**Angelface:** Ooo. You could take Jazz to get new shoes to match his new pants!

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** Rebecca, I need to go. Think you can handle this, pwease? puppy dog eyes

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Surely. Well..I will try. Haha

**icdafuture:** It was nice to meet you Liliana!

_OMEitsSQUIRT has signed off_

**Angelface:** So, who made Emmett break my brush?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** err...it was both Lil and myself

**Mr.Macho:** So are you the one who wrote that my Jeep is pink and purple?!

**Angelface:** Why are you so mean to me!? Its not that I've done anything to you.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I am very sorry Rosalie, but we are just doing it for people who read the story

**Angelface:** People read this CRAP?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Yes they do. And yes Emmett, I made your truck pink and purple.

**Angelface: **Actually, I think I made his truck pink and purple. :

**icdafuture: **Why do you guys write? I'm very curious.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well, we just do it for the fun of it..I guess.

_OMEitsSQUIRT has signed on_

**OMEitsSQUIRT: **Okay, I don't have to go to the party yet! How are things going?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **I was being AMBUSHED!

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** I wasn't even gone long!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** They are crazy!

**Mr.Macho:** Hey! Not all of us are crazy!

**Angelface: **Just you baby. kiss

**Mr.Macho: **And there is nothing wrong with it. Well. I am going to take Lil's idea and dye Edwards

hair blue, heeheehee. Nice meeting you Rebecca and Lil! Even if you two are demons for putting me in a green bunny suit.

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** I love you Emmett!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Bye Emmett! Good luck with the hair dye!

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**Angelface:** Edward is going to be pissed off.

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** He did kinda did say that it was his favorite color.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I think he will enjoy it! Haha

**icdafuture:** No he won't. : You guys better get out of here before he gets on.

**OMEitsSQUIRT:** Nobody needs to tell me twice!

_OMEitsSQUIRT has signed off_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I am outta here!

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

**Angelface:** How does he take it?

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** WHERE DID THOSE TWO DEVILS GO?!

**icdafuture:** They said something about having to go to a book party.

**tomanyvoices:** I don't like them. My hair is blue!

**icdafuture:** I'll be right back!

_icdafuture is away_

**Angelface:** Haha. Do it!

**Auto Response from icdafuture:** Edward's hair is blue! SNAPSHOT!

**tomanyvoices:** DON'T!

**Jazzfest:** Well this was interesting..

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Hey guys! What did I miss?

**tomanyvoices:** My hair is blue.

**vampcrzy:** Why is your hair blue?

**icdafuture:** Rebecca and Lil.

**Jazzfest:** I think it is pretty funny.

**tomanyvoices:** They are evil!

**Angelface:** Actually, Emmett was the one that did it. They just gave him the idea.

**icdafuture:** Damn! I forgot to take off the away message.

_icdafuture has returned from away_

**tomanyvoices:** Oh...was it Emmett's idea?

**Angelface:** No.

**vampcrzy:** Did someone take a picture?

**icdafuture:** Got it uploading to myspace right now!

**tomanyvoices:** You are all so mean.

**Jazzfest:** I am enjoying this

**vampcrzy:** OME! baby, you know that I love you.

**tomanyvoices:** Did you just say 'ome'?

**vampcrzy:** You told me I could. pout

**tomanyvoices:** I am sorry, love. I am just kinda pissed cause my hair is blue.

**vampcrzy:** Aww. Edward you look so handsome.

**tomanyvoices:** Thank you...but i want my normal hair color!

**icdafuture:** Its only temporary. It'll come out.

**tomanyvoices:** Okay. Then I am gonna go wash my hair so i can try and get it out.

**vampcrzy**: I love you, Edward!

**tomanyvoices:** I love you too, Bella! I am coming over

**vampcrzy:** I thought you were washing your hair.

**tomanyvoices: **It can wait

**vampcrzy:** Okay!! D

**icdafuture:** Did he really just say that his hair could...wait?

**Angelface:** oO

**Jazzfest:** I think he just did

**icdafuture:** Does this bother anyone else but me?!

**Jazzfest:** I am slightly bothered

**Angelface:** I'm surprised that he hasn't went after Emmett yet!

**tomanyvoices:** He is next.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Angelface:** Emmett just hid in the closet. XD

**vampcrzy:** My poor Edward. sigh

**icdafuture:** I'm going to go wash the porche. Then, I'm going to go shopping! Jazzy, come with?

**Jazzfest:** I guess since there is nothing better to do..

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** Well, bye Rosalie. My sexy man is here. lol.

**Angelface:** Ew.

_vampcrzy has signed off_

_Angelface has signed off_

MEANWHILE;;

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

_SquirtGrl has signed on_

**SquirtGrl:** Like my new screen name? I just made it.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I do like it. Very catchy!

**SquirtGrl:** Did they leave?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Yeah, I think we are safe...

**SquirtGrl:** Good. I hope that Emmett didn't really dye Edward's hair blue. :

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I really hope he didn't either... If he did...I am scared

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** YOU TWO!

**SquirtGrl:** Oh, Flubber nuggets!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** HOLY SHIT!

**SquirtGrl:** How can we help you, love?

**tomanyvoices:** My hiar is blue.

**SquirtGrl:** I swear that we didn't mean to! I'm so sorry Edward! I didn't think that he would actually

dye your hair blue!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well I thought it was kinda funny...but I still love you Edward!

**SquirtGrl:** I love you, too, Edward! P EW. I smell fish.

**tomanyvoices: **I don't want to know why. That is repulsing. And my hair is blue because of you

two.

**SquirtGrl:** We're sorry! Please forgive us! Dammit. Help me woman! rotfl

**tomanyvoices:** Did you just say 'rotfl'?

**SquirtGrl:** Yeah. Why?

**tomanyvoices:** it sounds like you are speaking some kind of language but you are too drunk to

remember what you are even trying to say. Now shouldn't you know about chatspeak from Chapter 1? That was terrible.

**SquirtGrl:** I wasn't paying attention. XD

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well, we thought it was funny. And we really are sorry Edward. You and your family are just interesting to write about.

**SquirtGrl:** Freakzilla is home! Time for Breaking Dawn!

**tomanyvoices:** And if you two do anything to my hair again, I will set the VOLTURI on you.

**ARTICHOIEE:** AHHHHHHHHH!

**SquirtGrl:** We love you still! runs away screaming

_SquirtGrl has signed off_

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

**tomanyvoices:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_tomanyvoices has signed off_


	5. You What?

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Five - You What?

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob  
ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana

_PuppyLove has signed on_

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**PuppyLove:** Hey Bella.

**vampcrzy:** Hey Jake. (:

**PuppyLove:** Just thought that I would get on and tell you something before I went to patrol.

**vampcrzy:** What's that?

**PuppyLove:** That I love you.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Yeah dog, we all know you love her. But she only loves you like family, so run along.

**tomanyvoices:** Sorry for the hostile mood love. But my hair is now blue, red and green.

**vampcrzy:** I love you more than you know, Jake. If I had anyway of being with you, I would. I'm tied though. I am always going to love you, no matter how much I love Edward.

**tomanyvoices:** ...

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** HELLLLLLLLLLO

**vampcrzy:** Edward...its...I...

**PuppyLove:** HA! Stupid leech. I knew she loved me more than she loved you. Bye.

_PuppyLove has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** Hm. I think that puppy needs to be neuterd. Just to be on the safe side. Bye Bye!

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** Edward?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes.

**vampcrzy:** You didn't deserve to see that.

**tomanyvoices:** Who do you want more, Bella?

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** I just saw the wedding cancelled! what's going on?

**vampcrzy:** I...I want you...but...I want him. I'm torn.

**tomanyvoices:** That dog. I swear.

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** Hey all.

**vampcrzy:** No. Eddie. C'mon.

**icdafuture:** oO What happened? "That dog" tells me nothing!

**tomanyvoices:** You called me Eddie.

**Jazzfest:** Haha, to many amused vibes! hahahahahah

**tomanyvoices:** It's okay, love. I just really hate that dog.

**vampcrzy:** No. You don't understand. I love you...wait! Alice you saw the wedding cancelled? Edward?

**icdafuture:** Hey Jazzy Baby!

**Jazzfest:** Hey Baby!

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, love?

**vampcrzy:** You...don't want to marry me now? Because I didn't choose to cancel the wedding?

**icdafuture:** Bella is sorry. They're having their first fight, I think. Edward seems so calm. :-/

**tomanyvoices:** I don't want to cancel the wedding...

**Jazzfest:** Hmmmm, almost to calm...

**icdafuture:** maybe...

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Talk to us, Edward. You seem hesitant.

**tomanyvoices:** What am I supposed to do?

**icdafuture:** I still don't know what happened!

**tomanyvoices:** She told jacob "vampcrzy: I love you more than you know, Jake. If I had anyway of being with you, I would. I'm tied though. I am always going to love you, no matter how much I love Edward."

**icdafuture:** WHAT?! Why are you so calm? Why did you lie to her about the wedding?

**tomanyvoices:** Because I am confused

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Bella just called me crying. She called ME! I'm so happy that she called me. But not that she was crying. Hey kids.

**tomanyvoices:** Hey Esme

**Jazzfest:** ESMEEEEEEE

**mamabear:** Why is Bella crying?

**tomanyvoices:** Alice please explain.

**icdafuture:** I think she's cheating on Ed. shrugs I guess he signed on when she was telling that mutt how much she loved him and all this other stuff.

**mamabear: **No!

_Angelface has signed on_

_mamabear has signed off_

**Angelface:** I'm so...boooored.

**Jazzfest:** Well thats too bad Rosalie cause I am in a great mood!

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Angelface:** How are you in a great mood? I thought you picked up on other's moods.

**Mr.Macho:** I feel tension in the household.

**tomanyvoices:** I am getting off of here..

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** It is Emmett!

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Edward?

**Mr.Macho:** heeheehee...

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, Bella?

**vampcrzy:** Edward, I think that...you should come over. I can't do this over the computer or the

phone.

**tomanyvoices:** Okay...

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** NOOOOOOOOOO! I really hope she doesn't choose the dog.

**vampcrzy:** I'm still here doorknob.

**Angelface:** Don't call my husband a doorknob!

**Mr.Macho:** Oh, whoops. heehee

**vampcrzy:** What are you going to...um...Edward is here already. Bye.

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I don't even want to know the outcome.

**Jazzfest:** This cannot turn out good...

**Mr.Macho:** Well there goes my good mood-ness. grrrr. Curse these fools!!

**icdafuture:** I'm worried. About Edward.

**Angelface:** I'm confused.

**Jazzfest:** I'm scared.

**Mr.Macho:** If this turns out badly, I am hiding the flat screens and gaming systems and hiding in my closet with protection.

**Angelface:** Dammit! What is going on?

**icdafuture:** We think that Bella might break up with Edward. Wait!

**Jazzfest:** Please tell me this is good.

**icdafuture:** Nothing about them yet.

**Mr.Macho:** Dammit.

**Angelface:** I'm going to rip that bitch into pieces!

**Jazzfest:** Don't get carried away crazy!

**Angelface:** She's hurting my brother! She's hurting the family! He'll leave again. He'll be destroyed! Do you not understand this?

**icdafuture:** Ooo! I need to go shopping!

**Mr.Macho:** Alice. Why do you need to go shopping when we are trying to hold on for our lives?

**icdafuture:** You need to come with me Rose!

**Angelface: **How the hell is this helping the situation, Alice?

**icdafuture:** She's with him still! The wedding is still on!

**Mr.Macho:** WOOHOO! Bring on the canned cheese!

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**icdafuture:** One of them will be on soon. I think.

**Jazzfest:** Knowing Emmett and canned cheese, something will wind up broke

**Angelface:** Edward still owes him back for the 3 different hair colors!

**icdafuture:** Yeah! Emmett will be broke! Ha.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** And you all will help me get him back.

**Angelface: **Do I have to?

**icdafuture:** How'd it go?

**tomanyvoices: **Yes you do Rosalie, remember the brush? And it went fine, Alice.

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Hi.

**Angelface:** I got him back for my brush with painting his Jeep. I still haven't gotten him back for my

mirror though.

**icdafuture: **Tell me about it.

_vampcrzy has went away_

**tomanyvoices:** Hello love. And see Rosalie? perfect motivation.

**Jazzfest:** Hello Bella!

**Angelface:** that makes no sence.

**Auto Response for vampcrzy:** I think my family hates me. No matter how much they hate me, I

will always love them more than...

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Edward, how are you feeling, son?

**tomanyvoices:** I hope Bella knows none of you guys hate her, and just fine Esme

**Angelface:** I hate her. I was planning on how to kill her when i found out.

**mamabear:** I think that she feels...really upset.

**icdafuture: **Tell us what happened!

**tomanyvoices: **Well we just talked it out. And Rosalie get rid of that hostility. It isn't good for you.

But I am going to go cheer Bella up. Good-bye.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** That was weird.

**mamabear:** I don't like him this way. He scares me.

**Angelface:** I still want to rip her to shreds.

**icdafuture:** I'm so confused.

**Jazzfest:** Well..uhm..yeah..

**icdafuture:** Yeah what?

_Angelface has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** I don't know. I feel funny. Lol

**icdafuture:** Something still doesn't seem right here. Are you feeling this too?

_vampcrzy has returned from away_

**vampcrzy:** Did she really want to kill me?

**Jazzfest:** No. She is just over-protective over the family. And Edward is scary when he is super

calm/

**vampcrzy:** He was super calm? Am I really that bad?

**Jazzfest:** Don't think that way Bella. I think what you and Jacob were talking about threw him off

guard. I mean Emmett is so happy, he can barely contain himself...he is playing with canned

cheese.

**vampcrzy:** Your family hates me. Why am I even trying to join a family that wants me dead?

**icdafuture:** Edward isn't going to like your attitude. He's going over to see you. He should be there

in two minutes.

**Jazzfest:** And we do not hate you. Far from that. Rosalie is an overreacter, like Edward.

**vampcrzy:** I don't belong!

**Jazzfest:** None of us do.

**vampcrzy:** You're only saying that.

**icdafuture:** Why are you making this hard on us?

**Jazzfest:** Seriously Bella. We do not hate you

**vampcrzy:** Edward is here.

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I think that they're meant for each other, but her questioning everything...

**Jazzfest:** They are ment for eachother. But she just wants to make everything difficult!

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** I enjoy canned cheese.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Emmett confuses me, just as much as Bell does. She's a difficult person Jazz. Soon

she'll be with us, and everything will be alright.

**Jazzfest**: Emmett is interesting..and I think she will be happier when she is one of us.

**icdafuture:** He's hesitating though.

**Jazzfest:** He needs to stop stalling

**icdafuture:** He doesn't even know if he wants her to join us yet. He feels like he does, but the

internal battle in his mind is giving me a mental block, almost like a migrain.

**Jazzfest:** He needs to do it, so they can do it. Then I think they will be happy.

**icdafuture:** He doesn't want her to be a ravinous blood-thirsty newborn. He's scared.

**Jazzfest:** I think she will do just fine. It is how we all were

**icdafuture:** We just need to talk him into it. I'm still worried about him. And Bella. Like right now.

**Jazzfest:** Yes. I think we should just sit them down and say "this is how it is gonna happen." Hey,

dear?

**icdafuture:** It might be easier for Bella to not come over right now. Esme was a little hurt. I'm sure

you felt it. What do you need Jazzy baby?

**Jazzfest:** Why are we still talking on here when we are in the same room?

**icdafuture:** I'm looking at dresses. hehe. I am bored though.

**Jazzfest:** Shall I come cheer you up?

**icdafuture:** I don't want to know how you plan on doing it, but I think you should. wink

**Jazzfest:** Then I will be right there(:

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_

**_We had a little bit too much fun writing this chapter. :) R&R please! Artichokie&Squirt_**


	6. Please Love

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Six - Please, Love

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob  
ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Hey.

**tomanyvoices:** Hello

**vampcrzy:** Are you still upset with me?

**tomanyvoices:** No, I can't be.

**vampcrzy:** Do you believe me that I never meant to hurt you? That I never meant for you to see that?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, I believe you. It is just that dog tha started it all.

**vampcrzy:** You didn't even know that he was on.

**tomanyvoices:** Well I knew it was him cause you weren't talking to me

**vampcrzy:** I meant before you signed on. You probably thought I was alone.

**tomanyvoices:** Not really. When I saw his name...but really it isn't a problem

**vampcrzy:** And you do know that, I'm giving up eternity...to be with you. Nobody else could ever make me wish that. Not even Jacob. No matter how much I say it. No matter how much I mean it. Edward, you will always be mine. And I will always be yours. You scared Jasper and Alice yesterday. Being too calm.

**tomanyvoices:** And I want to be with you for eternity also. And I already talked to them about the too calm situation. I huess I couldn't help it

**vampcrzy:** Then why won't you change me?

**tomanyvoices:** I am scared to. I am scared I will drain you. And that you won't be living anymore

**tomanyvoices:** But, if you want it really badly then I might do it soon.

**vampcrzy:** A chance I'm willing to take to spend forever with my loving Hell's Angel. (

**vampcrzy:** You would really do that? I thought you wanted to wait until after the wedding...

**tomanyvoices:** Well...then. I guess we should movie the wedding date up a couple days

**vampcrzy:** When does Alice have it set for anyways?

**tomanyvoices:** Erm, I think August 13th

**vampcrzy:** What is today? I hate summer!

**tomanyvoices:** Uhm, I think it is August 7th

**vampcrzy:** And I'm just finding out that my wedding is in SIX days?!

**tomanyvoices:** You should have been paying attention to the date

**vampcrzy:** We still haven't told Charlie!

**tomanyvoices:** Then I think we should get on that. be over in a bit

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** Dammit!

_vampcrzy has signed off_


	7. Revenge

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Seven - Revenge

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob  
ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana

_vampcrzy has signed on_

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Hey honey.

**tomanyvoices:** Hello, darling.

**vampcrzy:** Still upset about Charlie?

**tomanyvoices:** Yup.

**vampcrzy:** I can't believe that he freaked out that bad. I'm sorry. He still wants us to get married though.

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** And we will be getting married

**Mr.Macho:** Did Charlie freak out about Edward's hair? Cause I know I would xD

**vampcrzy:** Just 5 more days. (: Um...that isn't really what he freaked out about.

**tomanyvoices:** I know. And I still need to get this dye out of my hair

**Mr.Macho:** OHHHHH. He freaked out because you two will be tying the knot.

**vampcrzy: **Yeah. Edward, I think I should come over and get Emmett back for that.

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Is Bells on?

**tomanyvoices:** Well I first want to get the colors out of my hair, love. They are driving me crazy.

**vampcrzy:** Yeah. I'm here Al. Babe, you look so handsome though with the hair. XD

**icdafuture:** We need to go shopping...

**tomanyvoices:** I hate it.

**Mr.Macho:** What do you mean Edward?! YOU LOOK MANLY!

**vampcrzy:** But...

**icdafuture:** Bella? Why are you ignoring me?!

**Mr.Macho:** And nobody can get me back! I am king of the world! I am Edward's master! MWAHAHAHAH

_Mr.macho has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** He should jump off the roof. :

**icdafuture:** Edward make her answer me!

**tomanyvoices:** I worry about Emmett sometimes...

**icdafuture:** Et tu brother?

**vampcrzy:** We should dye his entire body pink!

**vampcrzy:** Bright pink! With yellow pokka dots!

**tomanyvoices:** That would be excellent! Next time he takes a shower we just turn all the water pink! Excellent!

**icdafuture:** DAMMIT! SOMEONE TALK TO ME!

**vampcrzy:** You love me!

**tomanyvoices:** Yes I do! I am sorry Alice, have you been here for a while?

**icdafuture:** Are you serious?!

**vampcrzy:** I love you, Eddie.

**tomanyvoices:** I love you to, Bella. And yes I am serious

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** NO HE'S NOT!!

_Jazzfest has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I know where you live woman! I'll come over there and bite you right now! I'll kill you later, Edward.

**vampcrzy:** Oh. I thought you signed off Al.

**tomanyvoices:** Fine, Alice. Bite Bella. It's what she wants xD

**vampcrzy:** I want YOU to bite me.

**icdafuture:** Screw you guys.

_icdafuture has signed off_

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** I hope that Alice knows she's buying me a new window.

**tomanyvoices:** hahahaha, That was too great.

**vampcrzy:** Were you doing that on purpose, Edward?

**mamabear:** What did you guys do to her?

**tomanyvoices:** heehee noooo.

-all of a sudden there was a large crash in the house-

**tomanyvoices**: I am so sorry! Emmett got to my computer.

**mamabear:** I don't think I want to know. if you guys break anything, I'm coming after you!

**vampcrzy:** Hey mama. (:

**tomanyvoices:** I am sorry Esme. It was Emmett's fault. You should try grounding him.

**mamabear:** You...called me...mama?

**vampcrzy:** Of course. (:

**mamabear:** Yeah. Tell Emmett he's grounded from Rosalie for a week.

_mamabear has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** he's grounded from Rose?

**tomanyvoices:** I like that punishment! hahahahaha

**vampcrzy:** Why'd she sign off so quick?

_Angelface has signed on_

**Angelface:** WHO got my husband grounded from me?!

**tomanyvoices:** He made Esme mad. hahahahah

**Angelface:** That isn't what he said.

**tomanyvoices:** And what did he tell you?

**Angelface:** That you threatened him. You and your...grrr...your fiancee.

**vampcrzy:** Ew! Don't say that word. I hate that word. puke

**tomanyvoices:** Nope. He pissed off Alice using my screen name

**vampcrzy:** That was HIM that I was talking to, Edward?

**tomanyvoices:** Yeah. Did you not notice the crazy amusment?

**vampcrzy:** I told him I loved him. Or were you still on?

**tomanyvoices:** That was me, then I walked away for a bit

**vampcrzy:** Where'd you go?

**Angelface:** I hate you. I hate both of you. Edward I'll deal with you later. I'll let you deal with your FIANCEE

**vampcrzy:** Ew. Stop saying that word.

_angelface has signed off_

**tomanyvoices:** I had to find the right shampoo to get my hair back to its original color. And what has Rose's panties in a bunch?

**vampcrzy:** Probably because she can't be around Emmett. Is that usually the punishments for you guys? Why does she keep calling me your fiancee?

**tomanyvoices:** No that usually isn't the punishment. So I am finding this rather funny. And she keeps calling you my fiancee because you ARE my fiancee.

**vampcrzy:** cringe I don't like that word. Or wife. Or husband! Grr. I think that Esme was a little shocked by me calling her mama.

**tomanyvoices:** She likes it. She loves you to death. And get used to it, love! It is only 5 days away:

**vampcrzy:** I'm chilly. Just talking about the wedding is making my tummy twitch. Edward...

**tomanyvoices:** I will be right over

**vampcrzy:** Um...no

**tomanyvoices:** Then what? Please tell me your not having second thoughts...

**vampcrzy:** You should tell Jazz to get on. I want to talk to him...while you're washing your hair...

**tomanyvoices:** Okay...

_Jazzfest has signed on_

_tomany voices has went away_

**Jazzfest:** What's up Bella?

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** I'm not going to tell you I told you so, but I did!

_icdafuture has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** I don't know if I can do this...

**Jazzfest:** What do you mean?

**vampcrzy:** I'm scared. I don't know how to react. What does his away message say?

**Jazzfest:** it says "Too many colors!" and that he loves you with all of his heart

**Jazzfest:** And don't be scared

**vampcrzy:** His nonbeating heart. XD ha. Anyways...its just some of the stuff that Charlie said last night. It scared me. He actually THOUGHT about shooting Edward!

**Jazzfest:** What all did Charlie say?

**vampcrzy:** He flipped out. He mostly called Edward names, after he asked if I was pregnant. PREGNANT! Edward won't even kiss me passionatley and he thinks I'm PREGNANT!

**Jazzfest:** Okay Bella. Don't let that bother you. You can't get pregnant. So don't worry about it. It is your life not his

**vampcrzy:** There is no chance? Not at all?

**Jazzfest:** Not that I am aware of

**vampcrzy:** How long has he been gone for? Who would know? Would Carlisle?

**Jazzfest:** Is something wrong Bella. It will take him a while to get that dye out

**vampcrzy: **Nothing is wrong. I just...I'm worried. I don't know what to do. I love him. You know that. But...

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Edward is going to have all the water in the house run cold!

**Jazzfest:** He won't be done for a while Esme...and don't worry Bella. It will all be fine

**mamabear:** i feel so bad for him. What's wrong Bella?

**vampcrzy:** how can you say that Jazz? You dont' know that. you don't see the future!

**Jazzfest:** I am trying to be here for you. And i already talked to Alice about it. That is why I am so positive

**vampcrzy:** Edward is going to read the conversation when he gets back isn't he?

**Jazzfest:** Nope. Cause we will sign off and you will come over here and go shopping with Alice before one of us kills her!

**vampcrzy:** I don't want to go shopping. :

**Jazzfest:** It is stuff for the wedding. And you have to try your dress on again.

**vampcrzy:** Grr.

**Jazzfest:** You can either go shopping or get squirted with canned cheese. Your choice xD

**vampcrzy:** You wouldn't!

**Jazzfest:** No. But Emmett would.

**mamabear:** there will be no squirting canned cheese in my house! And if Emmett knows what is best for him, he won't. He's already grounded for a week from Rosalie. I'll make it a month!

**Jazzfest:** I think he is just looking for something to do. And don't worry Esme, it doesn't stain xD

**mamabear:** I'll do it. Someone better tell him that. Rosalie won't be too happy.

**vampcrzy:** Can you guys like block your thoughts about this around Edward?

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Not until you go shopping.

**Jazzfest:** I will, Bella. And Rosalie already isn't happy. I kind of find it entertaining.

**vampcrzy:** Never! She keeps calling me Edward's fiancee. It bothers me. :

**Jazzfest:** You will go shopping and get over the fiancee thing! Basically Bella. I am your master now. You do what I say or Edward finds out. Mwahahahhaha

**vampcrzy:** That's not fair!

**icdafuture:** Thank you Jazzy Baby. (:

**mamabear:** He probably already knows, Bell.

**Jazzfest:** AND WHO SAID THIS WAS JAZZY BABYYYYYYYY! MWAHAHAHAHA

**icdafuture:** DAMMIT EMMETT!

**Jazzfest:** Now Bella! GO SHOPPING!

_icdafuture has signed off_

**mamabear:** Run Emmett.

**Jazzfest: **Bye Bye!!

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_vampcrzy has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed on_

_vampcrzy has signed on_

_**-3 Hours Later!-**_

**vampcrzy:** I hate you.

**tomanyvoices:** FINALLY! After 4 hours, the colors are gone!

**vampcrzy:** You're still on baby?

**icdafuture:** Edward! i have somethng to tell you!

**vampcrzy:** STOP! I WENT ON YOUR STUPID SHOPPING TRIP...

**tomanyvoices:** Oh, whoops. Forgot to come back from away

_tomany voices has returned from away_

**tomanyvoices: **And what is it, Alice?

**icdafuture:** Bella...

**vampcrzy:** I'm going to kill you Alice! You promised you wouldn't tell him if I went shopping.

**icdafuture:** Emmett already told him.

**tomanyvoices:** He told me what? he told me nothing

**icdafuture:** Bella is Emmett's...

**vampcrzy:** STOP!

**tomanyvoices: **Oh yeah. He told me you are his bitch for a week, or whatever. And why is that? (Sorry for the words, love)

**vampcrzy:** Grr.

**icdafuture:** Because she was talking to Jazz, but Jazz got up. I was in the car getting ready to go over to Bella's anyways, but Emmett got on and was having a conversation with Bella. The same one that Jazz and her were having. Well she told us to...

**vampcrzy:** you're dead Alice.

**tomanyvoices**: What did you tell him, Bella?

**vampcrzy:** Nothing...

**tomanyvoices:** Okay. You don't have to tell me

**icdafuture:** She told us to block our thoughts!

**vampcrzy:** Now he's pissed off at me! Thanks Alice. Thanks a lot!

**icdafuture:** You're welcome. (:

**tomanyvoices:** bella, would you want to come over?

**vampcrzy:** Are you mad at me?

**tomanyvoices:** Nope

**icdafuture:** Stop with this too calm bullshit Edward. Its driving Jazzy crazy.

**tomanyvoices:** I am not mad!

**icdafuture:** He says as he punches the wall.

**tomanyvoices:** Shut up Alice...

**vampcrzy:** I should be scared.

**icdafuture:** You're lying to her!

**vampcrzy:** Eddie, do you want me to come over?

**tomanyvoices:** Am not! I don't want her to see me mad. Thats all. And Bella, love. I am not mad at you. I swear and yes please.

**vampcrzy:** Then what are you mad about?

**tomanyvoices:** Nothing...

**icdafuture:** I'm going hunting.

**vampcrzy:** Why are you lying to me? I can handle it. I can.

_icdafuture has signed off_

**tomanyvoices:** FINEEEE. My hair is still tinted those colors.

**vampcrzy:** Why didn't you just say that? :

**tomanyvoices:** Because it is embarassing and I look like I have a circus on my head.

**vampcrzy:** Edward, I'm going to love you no matter what you look like. Was it because Alice was on? I'm sure she's seen it already.

**tomanyvoices:** No...Emmett put highlights in it. AHHHHHHH

**vampcrzy:** Well, come and get me. That way we can get him back. I did make use of that shopping trip. I bought the dye. (:

**tomanyvoices:** WOOOOO! Be Right There!

**vampcrzy:** He better not know that I helped though!

**vampcrzy:** I'm still his "bitch" as you so kindly put it.

**tomanyvoices:** You got it. I will say it was Jasper. And you won't be after this.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** OME. I so love him.

_vampcrzy has signed off_


	8. The Wrath of Bella

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Eight - The Wrath of Bella

_Character List;;_

_vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob  
ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana_

_icdafuture has signed on_

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Why has Emmett locked himself in his closet with our video games and what not?

**icdafuture:** You and Bella.

**tomanyvoices:** What about us?

**icdafuture:** What you did to him. I don't think that he wants Rose to see him.

**tomanyovices:** Hahahaha, we can have some fun with this

**icdafuture:** its not like he's allowed to see her anyways.

**tomanyvoices:** This could be even better

**icdafuture**: What are you planning Edward?

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Where'd you go last night Edward. I just woke up and you weren't here. ):

**tomanyvoices:** Sorry, love. I had something to do -evil smirk- Alice, you should know what I am planning

**icdafuture:** But I can't!

**vampcrzy:** What is going on?

**tomanyvoices:** Oh c'mon Alice! You should be able to see it!

_PuppyLove has signed on_

**PuppyLove:** Have you broke up with the bloodsucker yet Bella?

**icdafuture:** THAT is why i couldn't see. : Damn dog!

**tomanyvoices:** No she hasn't dog. The wedding is 4 days away.

**PuppyLove:** growls

**vampcrzy:** Give it a rest Jacob.

**tomanyvoices:** Alice, I think you can see what is gonna happen now..it doesn't include the dog

**icdafuture:** You're evil. Don't include Bella. He'll own her forever.

**PuppyLove:** Wow Bells.

**vampcrzy:** Just...make life easier on all of us and get out of it Dog.

**tomanyvoices:** HAHAHHAHAH! She just called you dog! And I won't let that happen Alice

**PuppyLove:** You've changed, Bella.

**vampcrzy:** Damn right I have! Now shoo!

**tomanyvoices:** I am enjoying this very much. hahahaha

**vampcrzy:** Shut up Edward.

**tomanyvoices:** I am sorry, love. Is something wrong?

**icdafuture:** Bella is scaring me.

**tomanyvoices:** Same here...

**vampcrzy:** I'm going to kill Emmett!

**tomanyvoices:** What did he do?!

**vampcrzy:** he took my clothes and replaced it all with lingerie!

**icdafuture:** How do you know it was him?

**tomanyvoices:** Well are you aware at the fact that he is cowering in his closet right now? And she knows it, Alice, because he wronte "Emmett was here" on everything

**tomanyvoices:** And yes I read his mind.

**PuppyLove:** I think you should put some on and take pictures Bell.

**vampcrzy:** DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH? WANT ME TO SPEAK DOG? woof woof. bark bark!

**tomanyvoices:** You little perv! Get the hell out of here!

**PuppyLove:** You're a bitch.

_PuppyLove has signed out_

**tomanyvoices:** Now Bella. Would you like to scare Emmett?

**icdafuture:** He'll own her.

**tomanyvoices:** Not if she shows him "The wrath of Bella" hahaha

**icdafuture:** The wrath of Bella?

**vampcrzy:** Should we wait until I could actually rip him to shreds?

**tomanyvoices:** Then and now. I need a good laugh

**vampcrzy:** Want me to call the dog and get him back on here so I can insult him more?

**vampcrzy:** crosses fingers

**tomanyvoices:** Sure. And I will sit back and relax :

**vampcrzy:** BRB.

**icdafuture:** Does she really need to do this?

**tomanyvoices:** Only if she wants to. She needs to let go of supressed anger

**vampcrzy:** Who said that I supress my anger?

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett.

**vampcrzy:** I'm going to murder him.

_PuppyLove has signed on_

**PuppyLove:** What now?

**tomanyvoices:** DING DING! Round 1!

**PuppyLove:** What the hell are you talking about leech?

**vampcrzy:** Why do you have to be so damn nosy?

**tomanyvoices:** heeheeheeeeee

**icdafuture:** I'm going to go tell the rest of the family to get on. (:

**PuppyLove:** Why do you ahve to be such a bitch?

**vampcrzy:** Why do you ahve to be so...ugly?

**tomanyvoices:** Alice! Do it fast!

_Angelface has signed on_

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Why did we have to get on?

**PuppyLove:** I'm better looking than you!

**vampcrzy:** At least the Cullens can stand being around me, because I don't STINK!

_Jazzfest has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

_vampgod has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** You are all just in time!

**PuppyLove:** They only like you around so they can smell your blood!

**vampcrzy:** That doesn't even make any sence mutt!

**Mr.Macho: **SWEET!

**Jazzefst:** This is gonna get good

**vampgod:** Oh dear lord..

**tomanyvoices:** DING DING! ROUND 2!

**vampcrzy:** Hey, do you guys know what they call Jacob at his school?

**Mr.Macho:** DO TELL!

**vampcrzy: **Dead Dog.

**Mr.Macho:** HAHAHAHAHA

**Jazzfest:** It fits.

**vampgod:** I will get the braces and plaster ready..

**tomanyvoices:** This is too great

**PuppyLove:** Know what they call you Bella?

**vampcrzy:** no. Not that I really care.

**PuppyLove:** Klutztastic

**Angelface:** I think that the wedding is getting to Bella.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay pup, that was really stupid.

**Jazzfest:** Lame

**vampgod:** I have heard better

**tomanyvoices:** Okay. So we all know the dog can't come up with a good comeback to save his life.

**vampcrzy: **Emmett, don't tempt me. You're next for that little stunt you pulled with my CLOTHES! I can't leave my house until the lingerie is all gone!

**PuppyLove:** I still think that you should put some on and take a picture.

**vampcrzy:** Know why you're failing English pup?

**Mr.macho:** I am reallly sorry, Bella! But I am here for YOU!!

**PuppyLove:** rolls eyes Why?

**vampcrzy: **Because you're illiterate.

**PuppyLove:** That was...lame as hell. If I was illiterate, I wouldn't be able to read or write.

**tomanyvoices:** DING DING! ROUNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 3!

**Angelface:** Can I help the crazy human?

**Mr.Macho:** Do it.

**vampcrzy:** I'll start on you after Emmett.

**mamabear:** Are you...okay Bella?

**vampcrzy:** jacob, guess what?

**puppylove:** What?

**vampcrzy:** Yo' momma...

**tomanyvoices:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**puppylove:** It wasn't taht funny Edward.

**vampcrzy:** I wasn't finished!

**tomanyvoices:** PLEASE! Continue!

**vampcrzy:** Yo' momma...oh that's right...you don't have one!

**Mr.Macho:** WOAH DAMN

**PuppyLove:** You guys suck.

_PuppyLove has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**Jazzfest:** HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**vampgod:** Well..erm..okay.

**tomanyvoices:** WOOOO! hahahahahaah

**vampcrzy:** Emmett...

**Mr.Macho:** eep.

**vampcrzy:** Come out of the closet.

**Mr.Macho**: NEVERRRRRR!

**vampcrzy:** That was the joke, asshole.

**Mr.Macho:** I know...but I won't come out of the closet till Jazzy does.

**icdafuture:** jazz isn't gay. Farrrrrrrrrr from it.

**vampcrzy:** Emmett...

**Mr.Macho:** Yes, Bell-Bell

**vampcrzy:** How do you feel about Shakespeare?

**Mr.Macho:** Errr, is that the dude who discovered America?

**vampcrzy:** My point exactly. You are so dumb, you think that 90210 is your phone number!

**Mr.Macho:** It is! Isn't it?

**icdafuture:** Go back to school Emmett.

**Mr.Macho**: I have been...for the last 80 years of my life!

**vampcrzy:** Now I know why you belong with Rosalie.

**vampcrzy:** Baby? You there?

**Angelface:** Why does he belong with me?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, love. I was just cracking up from this conversation

**Mr.Macho:** I'm offended. I am going back to my sanctuary.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** Your shallowness is overcome by his ignorance.

**vampcrzy:** Oh yeah. You're a blond. You don't know what those words mean.

**tomanyvoices:** Okay, Bella. I think I am coming over to your house to calm you down.

**Jazzfest:** WOWWWWWWWWWWW. that was enjoyable, But I am hungry. Alice care to join me?

**icdafuture:** I can't move because I'm laughing too hard.

**vampcrzy: **Oh, Edward. You come over here and you'll be next. bats eyelashes

**tomanyvoices:** Be there in a bit.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** I am laughing to hard aswell Alice. Lets just go...HAHAHAHAHA

_icdafuture has signed off_

**mamabear:** Carlisle, Maybe we should go with Edward.

**vampgod:** Why?

**mamabear:** She'll get hurt somehow.

**vampgod:** Okay. I will bring my first aid kit :

**mamabear:** Bye Jazz.

_mamabear has signed off._

_angelface has signed off_

**vampgod:** Bye Jasper, make sure nothing gets broken.

**Jazzfest: **Sure thing.

_Jazzfest has signed off_

**Rebecca and I had so much fun writing these last two chapters. We were laughing so much!  
_DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS OR THE BOOKS!_**


	9. Annoying

**We are slightly retarted. Sorry. (**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Nine - Annoying

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob  
ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana  
IGotTheGun - Charlie  
bellabmilife - Mike

_vampcrzy has signed on_

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** You left your cellphone here last night.

**tomanyvoices:** Dammit.

_IGotTheGun has signed on_

**IGotTheGun:** When was Edward over last night?

**vampcrzy:** ...Dad?

**IGottheGun:** Yeah, Bells?

**vampcrzy:** I meant like in my car. Um..when he and I went...to Seattle.

**vampcrzy:** Yeah, thats it. when we went to Seattle.

**IGotTheGun:** You are a bad liar, even on the computer.

**vampcrzy:** Aren't you at work?

**tomanyvoices:** No Charlie, we actually went to Seattle.

**IGotTheGun:** Yeah, but it is a slow day. And sorry for not believing you, Bells.

**vampcrzy:** I'm bringing your phone to you, baby.

_vampcrzy has signed out_

**tomanyvoices:** Well Good-bye, Charlie

**IGotTheGun:** Good-bye, Edward.

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** Okay. I'm in the truck now.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

_IGotTheGun has signed off_

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Thank god! That was so awkward.

**vampcrzy:** Sorry. How did he know what we were talking about? And I love it that you're a perfect liar. I didn't think he would really...believe me.

**tomanyvoices:** He didn't know what you were talking about. He thought you were rambling. And I have to be a perfect liar so people would think my family and myself are human

**vampcrzy:** That would be creepy if he signed on again. Oh my gosh! I better keep my eyes on the road!

**tomanyvoices:** Please keep your eyes on the road. And he won't be signing on again, this is a private chat for the Cullen family and Bella. xD

**vampcrzy:** And the occasional dog. rolls eyes

**tomanyvoices:** Only if he finds a way to get into the chat room

**vampcrzy: **did you like yesterday? I did. Oh Flubber Nuggets.

**tomanyvoices: **Whats wrong?

**vampcrzy: **I think I passed the driveway.

**tomanyvoices:** Nice one.

**squirtgrl:** Did you just take mine and Rebecca's saying?!

**vampcrzy: **Crazy person. Come get me Eddie.

**squirtgrl:** gags

**ARTICHOKIEE:** THEY STOLE FLUBBER NUGGETS!

**squirtgrl:** Where'd you come from?

**squirtgrl:** Are you invisible!?

**vampcrzy:** not you again.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yes I am. And what about you?! And we're backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

**vampcrzy:** I'm pulling in the drive now. do you hear me?

**squirtgrl:** We never really left. XD

**ARTICHOKIEE:** We have been here the whole time. mwahahaha

**tomanyvoices:** Yes I hear you. I just believe these 'flubber nuggets' cmae back!

**squirtgrl:** Aww. Eddie you really DO loves us!

**vampcrzy:** Back off squirtball.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I feel loved! How about you Lil?!

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Bella's going to be insulting the humans! Like yesterday!

**squirtgrl:** sticks tongue out at Bella Edward loves us. Back offffffffffff!

**tomanyvoices:** I find you two super annoying.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Well well well. We COULD write even worse stuff that would make you want to shame yourself, but we love you to much to do that.

**squirtgrl:** Everyone but Bella...and Rose. Ew. I hate her.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **I just envy the two. they have great guys. haha

**tomanyvoices: **Oh my god. just shut upppppp!

_Angelface has signed on_

**Angelface: **What did you just say about me? oooo. I will come through this computer and rip you to shredsssssss

**squirtgrl: **Yes Edward. You are God.

_Mr.Macho has signed on _

**Mr.Macho:** I am godly-er-er-er...yeah...

**vampcrzy:** Emmett...

**squirtgrl:** Stop insulting Jesus!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Emmett, would you like a squirt gun...that shoot permanent colored dye?

**vampcrzy:** I think that you two should leave before I get inside and actually get on a computer.

**icdafuture:** At least nobody's trying to get at Jazzy.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Alice, I love Jasper also. But I love you to so I wouldn't do that to you xD

**tomanyvoices:** -growls-

**squirtgrl:** Same! I do have a question though. Oooo. Wow. Growl again. That was hot.

**tomanyvoices:** No! Sicko.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Heehee, he just said sicko

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**squirtgrl:** Pwease. I'll leave if you do it...like5 more tiems.

**icdafuture:** I would leave, girls. Bella is running. Oh. She just tripped on the stairs...and her nose is bleeding...and JAZZ BETTER STOP TRYING TO ATTACK HER!

**tomanyvoices:** NO!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Hm. Fine. Don't do it. hahahahaha

**tomanyvoices:** Dammit.

**Mr.Macho: **hahahahahahah. PICTURE TIMEEE

**icdafuture:** BRB.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **So Lil.

**squirtgrl:** I wonder how Jessica and Mike are doing. AND Jacob. think we should tell them out to get in here?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** hmmmm, why not. heeheehee

**tomanyvoices:** Do not bring Newton, Stanley or the dog in here.

_bellabmilife has signed on_

**bellabmilife:** Thanks for showing me how to talk to Bella, Lil. You're an angel.

**squirtgrl:** She'll be on in a minute. She's got a nose bleed.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Is that mike newton? -mischevious grin-

**tomanyvoices:** EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

**squirtgrl:** Why yes. It is.

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** I swear that when Edward bites me I'm coming after you two!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Fine. Do it. I dare ya!

**bellabmilife:** When Edward bites you? That's kinky. You're still with that LOSER though??

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Shut up, Newton!

**tomanyvoices: **Yeah what the demon above me said!

**bellabmilife:** When will you leave him and be with me? Wait...Why is your screen name 'vampcrzy'? You dont like scary movies. You just about hurlled when we went to see that zombie movie.

**vampcrzy: **Edward doesn't know we went to the movie!

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Newton, I seem to recall YOU throwing up! MWAHAHAHAHA

**tomanyvoices:** What movie?!

**bellabmilife:** I was sick! That was the difference!

**vampcrzy: **It was some zombie movie...when you were at Volterra.

**squirtgrl: **Newton doesn't know about your lovely vampires.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Newton is clueless.

**tomanyvoices: **I dislike you two

**icdafuture: **She doesn't mean that Mike! Bella, will you just shut up and start insulting these demons.

**Mr.Macho:** I would like to point out that I have been exceptionally quite this entire time. I would just like to say that I like these two demons. They are funny and I enjoy them being here. -sticks tongue out at Edward and Bella-

**squirtgrl: **Will you marry me?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Will you marry both of us?

**Angelface: **growls

**squirtgrl:** We can share you!

**tomanyvoices:** I thought you two loved me?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Fine. Edward if you stop being such a grouch I might ask you to marry me, again.

**squirtgrl:** I think that Edward is a little bit...jealous. Wait! You asked him to marry you already? oO You hate me! I do love you Edward, but you seem very mad at me. It makes me sad. Remember, I'll leave if you growl 5 more times. wink

**bellabmilife:** Wow. You guys are freaks.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Shut up Mike! We don't own you. but we could do terrible things to you. mwahahahah

**tomanyvoices:** I am scared.

**Mr.Macho:** hahahaha

**vampcrzy:** Keep talking Mike. I could enjoy this.

**squirtgrl: **Why are you scared, love?

**bellabmilife:** Anything for you my Bella-Bear.

**tomanyvoices:** The things you two can do...-shudders-

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Mike. I can make sure that the next time you are with Jessica, you will get very cold. If you know wha I mean.

**squirtgrl: **So, Emmett will you marry us?

**bellabemilife:** I don't have any clue what you're talking about Artichoke.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Trust me Mike. Don't mess with me -mischevious grin-

**Mr.Macho:** No. I have Rose. But I will be your guys' best friend! You two are fun!

**squirtgrl:** You're grounded from Rose remember?

**Angelface:** Don't remind me, bitch.

_Angelface has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** Well that punishment is soon to be over, but uhm. I need to go, uh...hunt.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Meaning him and Rosalie are going to the woods together xD

**tomanyvoices:** Strange. you two are strange.

**bellabmilife: **Its not hunting season and Rose and Emmett are RELATED!?

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear: **Did that Grizzly and his wife just sneak out of the house together?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **ESMEEEEEEEEEEE:

**mamabear:** Rebecca, dear. Its so nice to see you again. How've you been?

**icdafuture:** I thought Bella was going to insult them.

**vampcrzy:** Too...busy...kissing...Edward

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I am good Esme, and how are you?

**mamabear:** I'm fine. Is Liliana on? are you all invited to the wedding?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yes, Lil is on. And we never got an invite! Edwardddddd. Belllllaaaaaaa. You got

some splainin' to do.

**vampcrzy: **You're not welcome children of the damned.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** At least Esme and Emmett love us.

**tomanyvoices:** You two are evil.

**mamabear: **I can't have children. I'm damned.

**squirtgrl: **I could so kick your ass Bella.

**vampcrzy: **You wanna go, girlfriend?

**bellabmilife: **Chick fight! Woo!

**ARTICHOIKIEE:** Oh no.

**tomanyvoices:** This will turn out badly.

**icdafuture:** I'm going to go tell the others to get on! this is going to be priceless.

**vampcrzy:** What do they call a blond who can't see?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Don't diss blondes.

**vampcrzy: **Blond as a bat.

**squirtgrl: **oO You suck. What do you call a girl who can't get a clue?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Bella Swan?

**squirtgrl: **Of course!

**icdafuture:** I'm back!

_Angelface has signed on_

**tomanyvoices: **Enough out of all of you! God, you two are annoying little demons! I am out of here!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**squirtgrl: **dammit! You win today Bella.

_squirtgrl has signed off_

**angelface: **Well THAT was anti-climactic.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Err, so uhm. yeah..

**vampcrzy: **Run blondie.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **I am not scared of you.

_PuppyLove has signed on_

**PuppyLove:** Bella can you please just let me apologize for yesterday? I love you and you know that.

**bellabmilife:** what the hell is up with men loving my woman.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** -snorts- Mike you can't get a girl. Except jessica.

**PuppyLove: **Mike? Mike Newton? The kid I could crush with my little toe?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yes. And please do.

**vampcrzy:** Hi mutt.

**puppylove:** BELLA!

**vampcrzy:** Don't make me get Edward to drive me to line so I can kick your ass. I have a bat!

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Looks like the puppy is here.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well, I am leaving. Bye!

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** Don't think I won't start round 4 with you.

**tomanyvoices:** Dog. If you know what is best for you. Leave. None of us are in the mood for your antics

**Angelface: **Alice, you suck.

_angelface has signed off_

_bellabmilife has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I'm bored. I want Jazzy.

**PuppyLove:** I really want...

**vampcrzy:** BRB. Human moment!

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**icdafuture:** JAZZY BABY! Why did Carlisle ground you?

**Jazzfest:** I helped sneak Emmett and Rosalie out.

**icdafuture:** So you're grounded from me?!

**vampcrzy:** Back!

**PuppyLove:** Please Bella! I only want to love you and on you.

**Jazzfest:** Not form you. From Emmett. We aren't allowed to make evil schemes for a week.

**tomanyvoices:** Okay. You are a sick little puppy dog. Go to the vet, get yourself fixed and stop hitting on my fiancee!

**vampcrzy:** WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT DAMN WORD!

**tomanyvoices: **I am sorry, love. What I meant was girlfriend...for now. is that better?

**icdafuture: **BACHELORETTE PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT! Woohoo!

**Jazzfest:** WOOHOOO...why am I woohooing?

**icdafuture:** You can't go to the Bachelor party. P

**Jazzfest:** I blame your excitment.

**vampcrzy:** You. Are. Not. Throwing. A. Party.

**puppylove:** I LOVE YOU BELLA!

_puppylove has signed off_

**icdafuture:** My excitement? I'll show you excitement.

**Jazzfest:** Uh oh.

**icdafuture:** I think I'm going to take a little catnap. stretch and yawn

**tomanyvoices:** You can't even sleep

**icdafuture:** Fine! I'm going to go fake a little catnap!

**vampcrzy:** Is it going to get loud in here?

**tomanyvoices: **I think so.

**Jazzfest:** Be right there, baby!

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** Should we go back to Charlie's?

**tomanyvoices: **Yeah, I think that would be best..

**vampcrzy:** Sexy Time!

**tomanyvoices: **Lets get off of here!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

_vampcrzy has signed off_


	10. I'm So Hood

**Please don't think we're crazy.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own the series or anything to do with it.**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Ten - I'm So Hood

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper  
icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie  
vampgod - Carlisle  
PuppyLove - Jacob  
ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana  
IGotTheGun - Charlie  
bellabmilife - Mike

_vampcrzy has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** What it do, broham? I sry 'bout the bitch thing yo. I was just droppin' it o' skool.

**Mr.Macho:** Gurlllllll, it be alll good. But wuts crackin' on yo side o' town?

**vampcrzy:** Not shyt! You know how I do.

**Mr.Macho:** Mayne, don' tell me, my lil sis been puttin a hurtin on all dem cracka jacks?

**vampcrzy:** Only dem losa types dat be lyke "yo mama watcha name is?"

**Mr.Macho:** Dats wen u gotta be a lyk " Bitch u don' kno me" and dey be all lyk "i don' kno u?" and u be all lyk "das right BITCH!" and den put da hurtin on dem

**vampcrzy:** Nah. I jus' b lyke..mayne my boo will kick yo' ass if you don't back up off me lyke dat.

**Mr.Macho: **Gurl, yo dude ain't gonna do shit. He be all lyk "Mayne dat be my gurl!" den u jump in all lyk " BICH BACK DA FUCK UP" ya kno wha i be sayin?

**vampcrzy:** True. True. Mayne...how yo' chick be? She still all like "bitch back up or I'll bust a cap in yo' ass"

**Mr.Macho:** Gurl, My gurl iz lyk, i don' know, but Mayne! she be all crazi an wha not! I mean, i luv muh gurl but sumtyms i jus gotta be all lyk "Step off meh" ya dig?

**vampcrzy:** Den why don't you be like "bitch please!" and drop her ass lyke a sacka potatoes an' be wit dem girls dat be lyke "Oh emmett you so handsome! Will you merrrrrrrrrry meh?"

**Mr.Macho:** Cuz i luv muh gurl! jus lyk u luv yur dude. ya know wat i am sayin' g?

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** What the Hell?

**vampcrzy:** Mayne. I luvs my boo. He my world n shit. You know how it be. Oh.Hey boo. Ma misses you. wink kiss

**Mr.Macho:** Well das good u luv ur dude, I mean, I feel da same way bout muh gurl Rose.

**tomanyvoices:** What are you two saying?!

**vampcrzy: **Mayne, ionno 'bout cho gurl doh. She be lyke chill one minute den da next she all like fidy on crack.

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** What am I missing?

**tomanyvoices:** I can barely understand Bella and Emmett..

**Mr.Macho:** Gurl, dats how ur dude iz! I mean one minute he be all lyk " Yeh dude, I will fightchu" even do it be all play fight an wat not, den da next minute he be all like "u mudder fucker i will kill u if u touch muh woman!" i don' understan' it

_IGotTheGun has signed on_

**IGotTheGun:** Why is my daughter talking like she hasn't had a good kindergarten education?

**vampcrzy:** Mayne. Dudes just be lyke dat doh. I mean, yeah. Us bitches be all up in yo' grill and den be lyke "whatchu talkin' bout i slept witcho mayne?"

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, love. Please stop talking like that.

**IGotTheGun:** Yeah Bells. You are not 'gangsta'

**mamabear:** We need to get them into rehab or something. This is really scaring me. It is a little entertaining. I wonder if Rose knows that they're talking about her.

**vampcrzy:** mayne! you don't know me!

**Mr.Macho:** Bitch! U don kno me!

**vampcrzy:** Yo' dis be lyke dat tyme on Tyler Perry's House of Paine. Oh my gah broham! It was all like "watchu jus' say to meh?"

_Angelface has signed on_

**Angelface:** Just kill them both and we'll be free of the insanity.

**Mr.Macho:** Gurl, i kno whachu be talkin bout! I mean is all like "Yeh!" An heyyy Boo

**vampcrzy:** i'm so HOOOOD! I wear my pants below my waist and I never dance when i'm up in dis place cuz you n yo' mayne is plannin' to hate!

**Angelface:** Stfu!

**Mr.Macho:** GOT MONEY! AND YOU KNOW IT! TAKE IT OUT CHO POCKET AND SHOW IT(then throw it!) LIKE..THIS A WAY!...THATTA WAY!...THIS A WAY!...THATTA WAY! GET MORE FROM ERRBODY YOU SEE THEN HANG OVER THE WALL OF THE V.I.P LIKE- Okay. Is Young Wayne on dem hoes, a.k.a Mr.Make-It-Rain-On-Them-Hoes

**tomanyvoices:** INTERVENTION TIME!

**mamabear:** Where is Carlisle when you need him?

**icdafuture:** I've been invisible this whole time and I'm laughing so hard.

**vampcrzy:** You can't hold me down!

**Mr.Macho:** I will never go!

**vampcrzy:** Way to be hood broham. Lets get dem glocks and be lyke I shoot dis place up!

**Mr.Macho:** An yell BITCH U DON' KNO ME!

**vampcrzy:** I got money in da bank. Shawty whatchu drank?

**Mr.Macho:** Mayne. I can' think of a song.

**vampcrzy:** Wher dey go?

**tomanyvoices:** Which one of you started this?

**vampcrzy:** I did boo.

**IGotTheGun:** I am worried about you and Emmett, Bells. I need to go back to work

_IGotTheGun has signed off_

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** MAYNE! I be feelin' xtra ghetto today.

**vampcrzy:** Mayne. I know how you feel broham!

**Mr.Macho:** Welcom to da club my bradda!

**vampcrzy:** Boo? You der boo? I miss you. I wanna kiss you. I wanna take you down. Really wanna take you down. Show you what I'm about.

**icdafuture:** Edward, I may join them. This seems fun.

**tomanyvoices:** I don't know...the temptation is killing me.

**icdafuture:** You don't even know what they're saying though!

**tomanyvoices:** Do you?

**icdafuture:** Of course I do. Which is what makes this funny!

**tomanyvoices:** Fine.

_tomanyvoices has gone away_

**icdafuture:** So you leave me here with the idiots?!

**vampcrzy:** Bitch please!

**Mr.Macho:** BITCH U DON' KNO ME!

**Jazzfest:** I'll pop a cap in yo ass!

**vampcrzy:** yeah bitch. Back the fu...

**icdafuture:** Girl You best shutcho mouth!

**vampcrzy:** Daymnnn. Dinnit c dat comin' at meh

**Mr.Macho:** Dayum! Dat wuz unxpected cuz

**icdafuture:** Now don't me me go country on y'alls ass. I'll shoot the lot of yeh.

**vampcrzy:** Mayne. Don't pay no daymn attention to da newbie. She 'ont know shyyyyyt.

**Jazzfest:** Alice, u bes be steppin outta hur. U can' do dis shyt

**icdafuture:** Don't make me take out my twelve-gauge here. I shoot you. I ain't playin' with you boy!

**Mr.Macho: **DAYUMMMMMMMMMM

**Jazzfest:** I ain't scurred of yo' guns

**vampcrzy:** What my boo's away message says?

**icdafuture:** I'll go ghetto on your ass.

**Jazzfest:** It says "To ghetto. Way too ghetto. I need old-fashioned-ness"

**Mr.Macho:** MAYNE HE BE SOFTTT!

**vampcrzy:** Awh. I miss my boo. He needa come back here and gimme some dis.

**icdafuture:** You are such a virgin.

**Mr.Macho:** Err, Bella. We can stop talking ghetto now...I was getting confused in my words

**Jazzfest:** Yeah same here Bella...

**vampcrzy:** You bitches is too soft fuh meh.

**icdafuture:** STOP IT ALREADY!

**vampcrzy: **Fine! Damn. I was just ahving some fun.

**Mr.Macho:** We were too, but I didn't know if I was talking using norml sentences. I got confluzzled

**vampcrzy:** You get confused too easily. someone tell Edward to get back online.

_tomanyvoices has returned_

**tomanyvoices:** Can I understand you guys now?

**vampcrzy:** hey baby. I missed you while you were away.

**tomanyvoices:** I missed you while you weren't acting like yourself. Have to much caffine today or something?

**vampcrzy:** Nope. I'm just happy. Tomorrow is the wedding!

**tomanyvoices:** WOAH DAMN! I totally forgot the date!

**vampcrzy:** Your fiancee is ready for you.

**tomanyvoices:** Wow! You said fiancee! But how does Mrs.Cullen sound?

**vampcrzy:** I think I'm ready.

**Mr.Macho:** I am outta here.

**Jazzfest: **Ditto.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

_Jazzfest has signed off_

**icdafuture: **Didn't see that one coming. oO

**tomanyvoices:** Bella! This is fantastic!

**vampcrzy:** Why, Eddie?

_icdafuture has signed off_

**tomanyvoices:** Because, you have gotten over the word fiancee, and Mrs. I am so happy!

**vampcrzy:** I think that is why I'm acting like this. It feels good.

**tomanyvoices:** It does. And you have no idea how excited I am

**vampcrzy: **Well tell me how excited you are!

**tomanyvoices:** I can't even explain! To have you for myself is the best feeling in the world

**vampcrzy:** I'm not yours yet. P

**tomanyvoices:** But tomorrow you will be :D

**vampcrzy:** But that is another 12 hours away, my Edward.

**tomanyvoices:** Well what should we do to pass the time?

**vampcrzy:** You won't do what I want to do. :

**tomanyvoices:** No I won't. But I will gladly come over and just be with you

**vampcrzy:** Grr. OME!

**tomanyvoices:** Whats wrong, love?

**vampcrzy: **I'm crying. (

**tomanyvoices:** Why?

**vampcrzy:** I'm...emotional. I've got a lot of stuff going on. I mean...the wedding is tomorrow and the party tonight and charlie thinks i need help after today and you think i'm crazy and Jacob hasn't called me back yet and...its just a lot.

**tomanyvoices:** Would you like me to comeand comfort you?

**vampcrzy:** You think I'm crazy!

**tomanyvoices:** No I don't. I was deeply entertained actually

**vampcrzy:** But you said I was too ghetto.

**tomanyvoices:** But now I understand you were in a good mood. I was confused at first as to why you were acting like that

**vampcrzy:** I act all sorts of weird. I thought that is why you loved me. I did fall out of my chair a couple of times. I have a headache.

**tomanyvoices:** I do love you. And I am coming over.

**vampcrzy:** I love you Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!

**tomanyvoices:** I love you Isabella Marie Swan!

**vampcrzy:** WRONG!

**tomanyvoices:** Did I forget to add Cullen?

**vampcrazy:** In a way, yes. You said Swan not Cullen

**tomanyvoices:** I am sorry, love.

**vampcrzy:** Fix it before I go ghetto again!

**tomanyvoices:** I love you Isabella marie Cullen

**vampcrzy:** Thank you. I'll see you soon, my fiancee.

**tomanyvoices:** I will see you soon, my soon-to-be wife xD

**vampcrzy:** Should I just meet you at the hospital?

**tomanyvoices:** Why would you be at the hospital?

**vampcrzy:** I fell out of my chair again and hit my head on the desk.

**tomanyvoices:** Oh dear. Okay I will beat you to the hospital.

**vampcrzy:** i can't make it out of the house. The blood!!

**tomanyvoices:** I will be there in 5 minutes.

**vampcrzy:** Hurry!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**vampcrzy:** YAH BITCH YAH!

_vampcrzy has signed off_


	11. Wedding Crashers

**We had a little bit of trouble with this chapter. Actually, my computer did. Anyways, we hope that you enjoy our randomness, because it just gets better as the conversations go on. You'll see why. One of these days.**

_**disclaimer: Becca. Lil. No. Owns. Saga. Thank you.**_

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Eleven - Wedding Crashers

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella  
tomanyvoices - Edward  
Jazzfest - Jasper

icdafuture - Alice  
Mr.Macho - Emmett  
mamabear - Esme  
Angelface - Rosalie

vampgod - Carlisle

PuppyLove - Jacob

ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca

SquirtGrl - Liliana  
IGotTheGun - Charlie  
bellabmilife - Mike

_squirtgrl has signed on_

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

**squirtgrl:** I can't believe that they didn't invite us!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I know! I think we should crash it.

**squirtgrl:** think Jacob would want to help?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Probably.

_puppylove has signed on_

**puppylove:** Hello demons.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Whad up homie g?

**puppylove:** What the hell?

**squirtgrl:** So, do you think that you would want to help us crash a wedding.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** We want to go to Edward and Bella's wedding. Because they were RUDE and didn't invite us! grrrr. Oh and wait till there honeymoon. Mwahahahaha

**squirtgrl:** Please will you help?

**puppylove:** I like the way you think ladies.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **You'd better.

**puppylove:** I'm in.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Okay. Jake, I know you got an invite. What time do you think we should show up?

**puppylove:** Soon.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **And for the reception. Shall we cause drunken mischeif...even though we aren't old enough to drink?

**squirtgrl: **I'm getting on my cell phone and then I'll pick Rebecca up and then we'll head over to the wedding. Ooo. We shall. I could so do this. D

_squirtgrl has signed off_

**puppylove:** What's got her panties in a bunch?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Mwahahah, And I will get on my cell phone as well. And nothing, we just want to get Edward and Bella back for not inviting us. Talk to you in a bit!

_squirtgrl has signed on_

**squirtgrl: **I'm back now.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Same here. (: Les get dis party startedddddd! mwahahah

**squirtgrl:** Feeling ghetto again?

**puppylove:** I will se you girls there? Where will you sit?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Maybe I am Lil (: And We should try and get in the back or something. So they won't know at first.

**puppylove:** I have to sit in the back because of Billy anyways.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **So, Should we sit next to you?

**puppylove:** if you want to.

**squirtgrl:** I luff you Jacob.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I love Edwar and Emmett more, but I am learning to tolerate you. Now. As for the reception...

**puppylove:** CAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Okay. While you eat cake...Lil, We should try and dance with Edward and Emmett. Like literally...stepping in. Mwahahaha.

**puppylove:** I meant throwing it.

**squirtgrl:** Who do you call first?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** GHOST BUSTERS!...erm, no. Uhm. Edward. Mwahahah, and Jake I like that idea. A FOOD FIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

**puppylove:** Oh yeah!

**squirtgrl:** I'm here Becca. Hurry to the car!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Okay I will be right out, I am already on my cell phone so I don't have to sign off Anyway, I want Bella REALLLY mad. So. How about we throw every piece of food our hand touches?

**puppylove:** Okay. She's still pissed off at me. Its annoying.

**squirtgrl:** We both have to dance with our savior!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh we know Jake. But don't worry. This is gonna be fun. And who? God and Jesus? Mwahaha, we can switch.

**squirtgrl:** I meant Jacob.

**puppylove:** As long as I get to dance with Bella. :

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh. Well okay, thats good to. And Jake we will give you the chance to dance with her, And right after that we start the food fight. -evil grin-

**squirtgrl:** I think that we're almost at the house.

**puppylove:** I'll be right back.

_puppylove has signed off_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Should we tell him the honeymoon plans?

**squirtgrl:** Nope.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Okay. Good. All he knows is that something is happening during the honeymoon and thats it. Do you have any other ideas that we can do?

**squirtgrl:** We're sitting right next to each other. Why aren't we talking about this. I mean, I AM driving here!

_puppylove has signed on_

**puppylove:** I'll be at the house in about 3 minutes.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well, Liliana, This is more fun. How long till we are at the house?

**squirtgrl: **We're about to turn in right now. We beat you Jake!

**ARTICHOKIEE: **MWAHAHAH. See in in a bit Jake!

**puppylove:** You guys in a green mazda?

**squirtgrl:** Would I ride in anything different?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Yeah we are in the green Mazda

**puppylove:** I love your car.

**squirtgrl:** Thanks. We're going in now.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yes, wow. quite a turn out...

**puppylove:** You're telling me.

**icdafuture:** If Bella and Edward know that you guys are here...they'll flip.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Heyy Alice! And we know..wait, have you been on the whole time?

**icdafuture:** Nope. Just signed on.

**puppylove:** Hi leech.

**icdafuture:** Dog.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh, Didn't notice that... By the way Alice. The wedding is beautiful!

**icdafuture:** Thank you so much.

**squirtgrl: **Glorious.

**Puppylove:** WEDDING IS STARTING!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** mwahahahaha

**vampcrzy:** Why are you guys sending messages to my phone during my wedding?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Don't talk to us! Go get married!

**vampcrzy:** What if I don't want to?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Then your being a meany head.

**icdafuture:** Don't let Edward see that.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Weddings starting! We will talk in the reception.

**squirtgrl:** I can't believe that I'm saying this...but Bella looks...hott.

**ARTICHOKIE: **She looks beautiful, I will give her that.

**puppylove:** drool

**ARTICHOKIEE:** -slaps Jake in the back of the head- Snap out of it.

**puppylove:** I...wow...beautiful...duhhhhhh

**ARTICHOKIEE:** WOAH DAMN! We have been spotted!

**squirtgrl:** Edward?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** And Bella.

**squirtgrl:** Yipe!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Woo, I didn't realize they would see us so quickly. This is gonna be a good reception.

**puppylove:** I think Alice is still on.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Alice?

**squirtgrl:** i think we're safe.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I hope so. Haha

**puppylove:** I'm worried. I don't like the look on Edward's face.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** That means this will get good.

**squirtgrl:** I agree with Jacob. Edward looks pissed.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah...he does. Hmmm...

**squirtgrl:** Uh oh!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I am slighty...terrified!

**puppylove:** Maybe we should...leave...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** NO! I want a dance with Edward and Emmett. Then we could leave...Okay. I won't dance with Edward. He might rip me to shreds..but still

**squirtgrl:** We should at least leave a few minutes before they kiss...dammit! too late.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** dun dun dun daaaaaaaaa. Well guys. We lived a nice life. Might as well make it more fun.

**squirtgrl:** True dat sistah gurl.

**puppylove:** Um...I think I imprinted on your car Lil.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well. Thats interesting, Jake.

**puppylove:** That or one of you. I can't decide.

**squirtgrl:** Crack whore.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Who, Lil?

**squirtgrl:** Jacob. XD

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Ahh.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices: **You two should leave.

**squirtgrl:** No.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I don't wanna.

**tomanyvoices:** You crashed my wedding.

**squirtgrl:** Not yet my love. Not yet.

**puppylove:** maybe he's right girls...

ARTICHOKIEE: Jake! Who's side are you on?!

puppylove: Yours and Lils.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Okay. Then we are staying for a little bit.

**tomanyvoices:** LEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**squirtgrl:** Only if you kiss me.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I would leave if Edward and Emmett kiss me. mwahahah

**pupplove:** What if iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii kissed you

**vampcrzy:** I'm going to murder both of you bitches!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Excuse me, Jake? OHHHH. Temper Temper, Bella!

**puppylove:** I'm sorry bella. I have bad news.

**squirtgrl:** He imprinted...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** WHo did you imprint on?

**puppylove:** youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

**squirtgrl:** Dammit, and I'm still alone.

**vampcrzy:** Okay, I'm going tot he back yard. Oh, and you can have Mike...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Dammit.

**vampcrzy:** I think you guys are too funny.

**squirtgrl:** Did she really just say that? o-O

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I think she just did. That was weird...

**puppylove:** Rebecca...

**squirtgrl:** Okay! Plan time! First dance! joink Emmett is mine!

**ARTICHOIEE:** Yes, Jacob? And I will dance with both of you! Mwahahah

**puppylove:** don't leave me...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** -shudders-

**puppylove:** What is wrong, my Rebecca?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I AM NOT YOUR REBECCAAAA!!

**puppylove:** You are.

**squirtgrl:** I want cakeeeeeeee.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I do too. And I am kinda creeped out.

**tomanyvoices:** Haha, you deserve it.

_Mr.macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** Dayum! It be da 2 demuns Eddie-boi hatz so much! Whud up gurlllllllllls?!

**squirtgrl:** Hey boo! Did you like dancing with me?

**vampcrzy:** Yo. It aint jus my boo dat be hatin'. Ayt?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Bitch. U DON' KNO ME! I wryt boutcho.

**squirtgrl:** Wow. Just wow.

**puppylove:** You are so hot when you talk ghetto. drool

**vampcrzy:** Bitch I myt be!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Jake, shutcho mouth! I don' want u lyk dat! N Bitch. U jus plain trippin'.

**squirtgrl:** And I just thought I was weird.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Lil. U be trippin. U kno u wanna b ghetto lyk us

**Mr.Macho:** Ryte On! And Gurlz, ur idea of crashin da weddin was awsum

**squirtgrl:** You really think so? Thanks Em. wink

**vampcrzy:** mayne. i think ima actually start lykin des hoes. holla at one of 'em broham.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Gurl, u kno u gotta luv us.

**Mr.Macho:** Dayummmmmmmm

**tomanyvoices:** I am worried.

**squirtgrl:** You're not the only one.

**puppylove:** I love you my Artichoke.

**vampcrzy:** Nah. Fah rel doh. You should get at one of 'em brah.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Jake, Dude, don' cal me Artichoke. Only muh gurl Lil can call me dat. And Bell, furreal?

**Mr.Macho:** Dayum, I jus wanna yell "BITCH U DON' KNO ME"

**vampcrzy:** ferreal.

**squirtgrl:** Are you trying to say Pharell? EMMETT MARRY ME!

**puppylove:** -puts hands on Rebecca's waist- You are so beautiful.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yo broham, don' touch me!

**Mr.Macho:** Dog, you best be steppin!

**vampcrzy:** Seriously Jake. leave. You're not welcome here anymore.

**squirtgrl:** Don't make me kick your ass mutt.

**tomanyvoices:** Leave, right now. Dog.

**vampcrzy:** You're ruining the love. And you're pissing off one of my new...friends.

**puppylove:** I don't think I will.

**squirtgrl:** I will hurt you so bad Jacob, its not even funny.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Leaveeeeeeeeeeeee!

**tomanyvoices:** Right now!

**Mr.Macho:** Or else. dun dun dunnnnn!

**puppylove: **You guys don't control me. And I want to be with the love of my life.

**squirtgrl:** -growls- This is it! Yo' someone hold my earrings!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I will take your shoes too! Just get him away from me!

**Mr.Macho:** GO! GO! GO! GO!

**puppylove:** eep!

**vampcrzy:** I'm going to get everyone else on!

**squirtgrl:** Come dog. Sit. Stay.

_Jazzfest has signed on_

_vampgod has signed on_

_angelface has signed on_

_icdafuture has signed on_

**angelface:** Why did I have to sign on?

**icdafuture:** OOO. Lil is fighting the dog!

**Mr.macho:** The dog imprinted on our little buddies/demons Rebecca, Rebecca got all creeped out and Lil got pissed. Now she is fighting with the mutt.

**vampgod:** I will get the bandages and plaster

**angelface:** Wow. She's...really...good.

**vampcrzy:** I wish I could do that...

**tomanyvoices:** Oh damn. That has to hurt

**icdafuture:** I know who wins!

**Mr.Macho:** Who?! WHO WINSSSSS

_mamabear has signed on_

**mamabear:** Why did I just hear glass breaking in the kitchen?

**icdafuture:** Guess!

**Mr.macho:** Please tell me Liliana puts the mutt to shame!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I wanna help Lil!

**icdafuture:** She wins at the cost of a broken left arm.

**vampcrzy:** Stay and watch with us.

**angelface:** Sorry Esme. Lil and Jacob are fighting. She's putting him to shame.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Fine I will stay. But I am not happy.

**Mr.Macho: **WOOO! Go Lil!

**tomanyvoices:** Wow. This is good.

**vampgod:** Hm. I need plaster and braces...

**vampcrzy:** Edward, do you like them now?

**mamabear:** I'm going to shoot whoever broke my window!

**tomanyvoices:** I guess I can tolerate them. Even though they will always be demons.

**Mr.macho:** It was Jacob who broke your window Esme!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah it was him! I saw him do it!

**icdafuture:** He threw Lil through it. I wonder how she's still able to move. Is she super or something?

**mamabear:** Where is that gun of mine?

**angelface:** ooooo. Esme is mad!! Mad Mama on the loose!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** WOO! Shoot Jacob.

_mamabear has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Does mad mama scare anyone else?

**tomanyvoices: **This

**Mr.macho:** Is

**Jazzfest:** Too

**vampgod:** Great

**vampcrzy:** I

**angelface:** Love

**icdafuture:** HER!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Who? Lil or Esme?

**vampcrzy:** both!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yep. They are awesome

**puppylove:** OH MY GOD! YOU WOMEN ARE CRAZY! I'M OUT OF HERE!?

**squirtgrl:** And stay out! Ow. Carlisle?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Thank you so much Lil!

**vampgod:** Yes, Lil?

**squirtgrl: **You're welcome. Can you fix me up? I'm in pain.

**vampcrzy:** You're

**angelface:** My

**icdafuture:** HERO!

**vampgod:** Of course I will, just meet me in the kitchen

**squirtgrl:** Thanks.

**Angelface:** Wow. that was great. I'm leaving now. Emmett lets go hunting.

_Angelface has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** Bye Lil and Rebecca, talk to you two later.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Bye Emmett!

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I'm shocked at you Edward.

**vampcrzy:** Lets go dance, Mr. Cullen.

**tomanyvoices:** Why are you shocked, Alice?

**icdafuture: **You admitted that you liked them...

**tomanyvoices:** Oh well. I am gonna go dance with my wife.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

_vampcrzy has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Jazz...we're alone...for the most part.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Bye Alice and Jasper!

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Lil, Rebecca is at the car. Bye.

_squirtgrl has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** NOW we are alone. I just feel bad for those two..for some reason...

**icdafuture:** Why is that, Jazzy?

**Jazzfest:** Well, Jake imprinted on Rebecca and she is basically creeped out. And Lil got a broken arm out of the whole deal

**icdafuture:** But they're really good friends. Are you telling me that you wouldn't do that for Edward or Emmett?

**Jazzfest:** I would, and they are good friends, but Emmett and Edward have super human strength. They can handle themselves. And Edward can protect Bella, you and Rose have that strngth also. Rebecca and Lil get hurt more easily

**icdafuture:** I meant if we weren't superhuman.

**Jazzfest:** Oh, well then yeah I would do the same thing

**icdafuture:** Exactly! Hey Jazzy baby...

**Jazzfest:** yes dear?

**icdafuture:** Esme is running after Jacob. Carlisle is trying to catch her. Edward and Bella are dancing and entertaining the guests. Emmett and Rose are hunting.

**Jazzfest:** I see where you are going with this. I will beat you to the room

**icdafuture:** No you won't!

_icdafuture has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** She's feisty. And I like it.

_Jazzfest has signed off_


	12. Me Love You Long Time

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Twelve - Me Love You Long Time

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella

tomanyvoices - Edward

Jazzfest - Jasper

icdafuture - Alice

Mr.Macho - Emmett

mamabear - Esme

Angelface - Rosalie

vampgod - Carlisle

PuppyLove - Jacob

ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana

IGotTheGun - Charlie

bellabmilife - Mike

_Jazzfest has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** I'm so pissed off right now.

**Mr.Macho:** And whhy is that my oversensitive brother?

**Jazzfest:** I'm stuck in a house with you...alone!

**Mr.Macho: **Don't be like that Jazzy, I won't be to hard on you.

**Jazzfest:** My dear dimwitted brother. I wish Edward and Bella didn't go on that honeymoon of theirs.

**Mr.macho:** Why not?! Then he wouldn't get laid. And he will lighten up once he has been laid.

**Jazzfest:** You are so dimwitted. I swear.

**Mr.Macho:** You love me. Lets play a game.

**Jazzfest:** Okay. Fine.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. Do you have any suggstions?

**Jazzfest:** It WAS your idea, brother.

**Mr.Macho:** I was just making sure you weren't going to say something else. ANd we are playing truth or dare.

**Jazzfest: **there are only two of us...

**Mr.Macho:** Which makes it more fun.

**Jazzfest:** Bloody hell.

**Mr.macho:** Okay, do you want to go first?

**Jazzfest:** I would rather not.

**Mr.Macho:** OKAY! Truth or Dare?

**Jazzfest:** Truth.

**Mr.Macho:** Do you secretly let Alice use you as a Barbie Doll when Bella isn't around?

**Jazzfest:** How did you know I have a Barbie Doll?

**Mr.Macho:** ...Dude. Uhh. Oh this is awkward.

**Jazzfest:** Its called truth or dare for a reason numbnuts.

**Mr.macho:** But I asked you if you let Alice use YOU as a barbie doll...like dress YOU up and put make-up on YOU. Not the other way around with stuff you do when you are alone

**Jazzfest:** Oh. Then no. That's why she and Esme are so close.

**Jazzfest:** Truth or Dare, brother?

**Mr.macho:** Truth, my brotha.

**Jazzfest:** Is Rose really good in bed? XD its something I've always wondered.

**Mr.Macho:** Yes. Yes she is. Truth or dare?

**Jazzfest:** Truth. I'm kinda scared to take a dare from you...

**Mr.Macho:** Oh just take a dare, but anyway. What are the TRUE feelings Edward has around Bella lately?

**Jazzfest:** Lust. Complete and utter lust. It kills me. Its like he wants to explode. That's why Alice and I have been "napping" a lot.

**Mr.Macho: **Well. I kind of expected that one. But he is supressing those sexual feelings he is having.

**Jazzfest:** It drives me crazy! Its not just them either. I'm feeling it from you and Rose too! Truth or dare?

**Mr.Macho:** Dare

**Jazzfest:** Thank you. I dare you to run around the house butt naked yelling "Me love you long time!"...when EVERYONE is here.

**Mr.Macho:** I do that anyway...back to buisness. Truth or dare?

**Jazzfest:** You never do that when I'm around. I guess I'll take a dare...even though I'm going to regret it.

**Mr.Macho:** I DARE YOU TO LOVE ME JASPER! LOVEEEEE ME LIKE YOU LOVE ALICEEEE! except for the kissing and other things you two do when "napping"

**Jazzfest:** And if I don't?

**Mr.Macho:** I replace all your underwear with the most expensive panties from Victoria Secret. and i will make sure they are lacey and barely fit you.

**Jazzfest:** I don't wear women's underwear. You're the one who wears thongs.

**Mr.Macho:** That was one time! And I know you don't wear them. But if you don't do the dare I enforced on you then I will replace your underwear, the smallest kind also. ANd trust me, the man below will protest.

**Jazzfest:** Alice wouldn't like that very much...

**Mr.Macho:** No she wouldn't. SO LOVE ME JASPERRRRRRRR!

**Jazzfest:** Dammit. -emotionless- I love you so much Emmett. You are the best brother ever.

**Mr.Macho:** Thats nice. And you have to give me hugs out in public. Don't forget that.

**Jazzfest:** Do I have to?

**Mr.Macho:** Underwear...

**Jazzfest:** Fuck.

**Mr.Macho:** Mwahahahah

**Jazzfest:** Fine. Dammit. Truth or dare?

**Mr.Macho:** Dare.

**Jazzfest:** I dare you to kiss Bella.

**Mr.Macho:** Fine. But you never said where! Mwahahah Truth or dare?

**Jazzfest:** Dammit all! I knew I should have said where. -growls- I want...truth.

**Mr.Macho:** Have you ever had feelings for Rosalie?

**Jazzfest:** Uhm...no. Definately not.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. It was just something quick that popped up in my mind.

**Jazzfest:** I like this...Edward not being here...

**Mr.Macho:** Yeah same here, very quiet. No tension. About anything

**Jazzfest:** i could get used to this.

**Mr.Macho:** Not for long. Bella is moving in. And when she is a vampire, and less breakable, -shudders- I don't think it will ever be quiet.

**Jazzfest:** I'm sure it'll calm down...after about 15 years.

**Mr.Macho:** Jazz, think of how long me and ROse have been together. It hasn't calmed down. And you and Alice. That hasn't calmed down either. And don't get me STARTED on Carlisle and Esme

**Jazzfest:** Ew. I don't want to even think about Carlisle and Esme's sex life. Ew. I just can't see Bella and Edward having sex.

**Mr.Macho:** Me either. But seriously, she tried to get them to do it a couple months ago! God damn, I am scared. I don't want the noises!

**Jazzfest:** Stop talking about sex. You don't know what this is doing to me!? T or D?

**Mr.Macho:** Truth

**Jazzfest:** Have you really only wore thongs once?

**Mr.Macho:** Yepp.

**Jazzfest:** That's not what Rose said. She thinks they're sexy. She told me one time that she wants you to wear them more.

**Mr.Macho:** For Rose I will. But not for anybody else.

**Jazzfest:** Get on it my brother.

**Mr.Macho:** Truth or Dare?

**Jazzfest: **Dare.

**Mr.Macho:** I dare you to put on one of Alice's favorite outfits when she gets home.

**Jazzfest:** She'll tear me to shreds!

**Mr.Macho:** I dare'd ya. And I know she will. It shall be funny as hellllllllllll

**Jazzfest:** You're going to take pictures arent' you?

**Mr.Macho:** Maybeeeeeeeeee

**Jazzfest:** Damn you. fine. T or D.

**Mr.Macho:** Dare

**Jazzfest:** I dare you to... - thinks really hard - ...get rid of ALL of Rose's clothes and replace them with basketball shorts and baggy shirts.

**Mr.Macho:** I can't get rid of them. How about I store them in a box nd hide them?

**Jazzfest:** Okay, fine.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay good. Truth or Dare?

**Jazzfest:** Truth, pleasee.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. Did you ever have more than brotherly love for Edward?

**Jazzfest:** Only whenever Bella is around. It creeps me out. Oh! And then that one time...

**Mr.Macho:** WHAT ONE TIME?!

**Jazzfest:** Uhm... There was this one time..

**Mr.Macho:** You have to tell me!

**Jazzfest:** Its a long story.

**Mr.Macho:** Tell me now.

**Jazzfest:** Truth or Dare.

**Mr.Macho:** YOU HAD GAY FEELINGS FOR EDWARDDDDD!! ANd truth

**Jazzfest:** It was just that one time! Have you ever had feelings for Edward? Or any of us guys for that matter?

**Mr.Macho:** Nope. I am as straight as a ruler

**Jazzfest:** I've lied to you about one answer, don't lie to me...

**Mr.Macho:** I haven't lied. Do I look like the kind of MANLY MAN who would have feelings for you people?

**Jazzfest:** Liar!

**Mr.Macho:** I am as straight as a ruler. Unlike you.

**Jazzfest: **You said that if I came out of the closet you would...

**Mr.Macho:** You are that whacked up ruler that got messed up in the machine the was making it and is slightly crooked, and I lied to you about that coming out of the closet thing. Mwahahha

**Jazzfest:** Well...I lied to you about Rose!

**Mr.Macho: **You had feelings for her? Cause I understand why you did, she is irresistable -drools and is looking out into space-

**Jazzfest:** This is making me feel things that I don't want to feel when Alice isn't around!

**Mr.Macho:** THEN STOP DAYDREAMING ABOUT MY WIFE!

**Jazzfest:** Who said I was daydreaming about her?

**Mr.Macho:** Oh stop teasing me, Jasper. I know you want me.

**Jazzfest:** I knew you wanted my body too!

**Jazzfest:** You have a thing for blonde's doing you?

**Mr.Macho:** Only Rosalie. And this conversation has taken an awkward turn...

**Jazzfest:** You haven't asked me if I wanted truth or dare, so I continue.

**Mr.Macho:** Oh. I thought you were the one who was supposed to ask...but Truth or dare?

**Jazzfest:** Nope. I checked. Dare

**Mr.Macho:** I dare you to call Edward right now, while he is on his honeymoon, and tell him you have had 'more than brotherly love' type feelings for him. even if you get voicemail. you have to tell him.

**Jazzfest:** I'll do one better than that...

Mr.Macho: What are you gonna do? Tell Bella?

**Jazzfest:** Oh no, my brother.

**Mr.Macho:** THEN WHATTTTTTT

**Jazzfest:** "Edward, I'm sorry to interupt your honeymoon, but I have to tell you something. I'm deeply, madly in love with you. I'm so completely jealous of Bella that it kills me. I want you."

**Mr.Macho:** You, my over-emotional brother, are my hero.

**Jazzfest:** -bows- Damn! Voicemail.

**Mr.Macho:** that is even better!

**Jazzfest:** Well...TorD?

**Mr.Macho:** Truth

**Jazzfest:** Have you ever wanted to pork Bella?

**Mr.Macho:** Have I ever wantd to do what?

**Jazzfest:** Pork Bella.

**Mr.Macho:** What does that mean?

**Jazzfest:** I forgot who I was talking to. Oy vey. It means "have you ever wanted to sleep with Bella"

**Mr.Macho:** Oh dear god no! She is like a little sister to me.

**Jazzfest:** And Edward is like a little brother to me, but that doesn't change anything.

**Mr.Macho:** Fine. You dragged it out of me. I have just wanted to try what Edward does every night at her house. I mean I would love to hear her sleep talk! It would be priceless

**Jazzfest:** That isn't what I meant...

**Mr.Macho: **HA! You said "sleep with.." and we are vampires! We can't sleep!

**Jazzfest:** It was a nice way of putting 'have sex with'

**Mr.Macho:** I know, oh-literal-one, and I was TRYING to have myself a smartass moment. but you ruined it.

**Jazzfest:** I'm...sorry?

**Mr.Macho:** You better be! Meany head.

**Jazzfest:** I hate Alice for taking the girls shopping...

**Mr.Macho:** Do you not like spending time with me?! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME!!

**Jazzfest:** I will always love you, brother. Its just...I've told you things that I haven't even told her...

**Mr.Macho:** Like your gay feelings for Edward?

**Jazzfest:** OME! that is SO between the two of us!

**Mr.Macho:** Of course it is-evil grin- and you had to leave him a voicemail confessing your feelings.

**Jazzfest:** he will know that we were playing truth or dare. I'm wondering why you haven't asked me a question though...

**Mr.Macho:** I don't know..I think it is the brotherly bonding going on between us. I feel a real connection

**Jazzfest:** Why haven't you asked me how I keep my feelings for him from him?

**Mr.Macho:** No. But hey Jazzy?

**Jazzfest:** Yes, Em?

**Mr.Macho:** I love you, in the brotherly/manly kind of way of course!

**Jazzfest:** I love you too...in that same kind of brotherly/manly kinda way. No gayness...I'm not gay..

**Mr.Macho:** You are only a little gay. And if the girls find out about this conversation, I will kill you.

**Jazzfest:** I. AM. SOOOOOOOOO. NOT. GAY. How will they find out about it?

**Jazzfest:** I'm sure that Alice already has seen some of these answers anyways...

**Mr.Macho:** Edward could read your mind. And I just thought of that. Dammit.

**Jazzfest:** I can block my mind. Can you?

**Mr.Macho:** -evil smirk- Of course I can

**Jazzfest:** Dare or Dare, Em.

**Mr.Macho:** Dare.

**Jazzfest:** I dare you to come kiss me. Just to see how Rose feels. If you don't...I'll tell everyone about you telling me you loved me...

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. But on the cheek since you didnt say were at. mwahahah and truth or dare?

**Jazzfest: **Fuck! Dare.

**Mr.Macho:** Hmmmm. I dare you...to go to the mall where Alice is at dressed as cupid and you have to do a funny little dance. You have one hour.

**Jazzfest:** Or?

**Mr.Macho:** Or I will steal your t-shirts and pants and put in bras so you have matching sets for your panties. mwahahah

**Jazzfest: **Okay.

**Jazzfest:** I won't wear the bras anyways. I'll go naked!

**Mr.Macho:** I will force them on you. Go. Now.

**Jazzfest:** If you force them on me. Everyone will know your secret!

**Mr.Macho:** Curse you. But you still have to do the Cupid thing

**Jazzfest:** No.

**Mr.Macho:** Fine. You are such a buzzkill.

**Jazzfest:** You love me. Now come kiss me...NOW!

**Mr.Macho:** On the cheek, why of course brother.

**Jazzfest: **Good. I'm thinking...oh damn...

**Mr.Macho:** What?

**Jazzfest:** Rose and Alice have been talking about sex today...

**Mr.Macho:** How do you know? Can't you only feel someones feelings if they are around you or whatever?

**Jazzfest:** I'm in love with Alice, so I can tell what she's feeling all the time...but I have lived with you guys for...over 80 years...maybe...I know how she feels. That, and they're about to be pulling into the driveway. I hear the car.

**Mr.Macho:** Dammit! Do you know what this means?!

**Jazzfest: **Nope. What does it mean my brother?

**Mr.Macho:** If Rose and Alice have been talking about sex all day they had to of buy more lingerie

**Jazzfest:** More lingerie means...

**Mr.Macho:** Exactly my brotha.

**Jazzfest:** Betcha we can be louder...

**Mr.Macho:** Oh no my brother. We can be louder. Trust me on this one.

**Jazzfest:** One last dare?

**Mr.Macho: **Your on.

**Jazzfest:** I dare you to scream Edward's name while porkin' Rose.

**Mr.Macho:** And you have to while porkin' Alice.

**Jazzfest:** I can't wait to see the girl's reactions. -evil grin- Ah! Alice is biting my ear...

**Mr.Macho:** Rosalie is touching me...

**Jazzfest:** I think that it is time to go pork our wives...

**Mr.Macho:** I do believe so. And remember the bet and the dare.

**Jazzfest:** One love brother.

**Mr.Macho:** You know it.

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_Mr.Macho has signed off_


	13. Extreme Truth or Dare

**Disclaimer: "Yo brotha! Do des chicks b ownin' da books 'bout us?"  
"Nah, my brother."  
"Thanks Jazz."**

**You heard the men! We don't own the books or anything to do with the Twilight saga.**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Thirteen - Extreme Truth or Dare

Character List;;

vampcrzy - Bella

tomanyvoices - Edward

Jazzfest - Jasper

icdafuture - Alice

Mr.Macho - Emmett

mamabear - Esme

Angelface - Rosalie

vampgod - Carlisle

PuppyLove - Jacob

ARTICHOKIEE - Rebecca  
SquirtGrl - Liliana

IGotTheGun - Charlie

bellabmilife - Mike

_icdafuture has signed on_

_angelface has signed on_

**icdafuture:** I have forseen.

**angelface:** That your husband was in a cupid suit for some reason? xD

**icdafuture:** Oh, no. Him and Em were playing truth or dare yesterday. That is why I had us go shopping!

**angelface:** Oh really! I think we should play since the guys are caught up in tht video game

**icdafuture:** That's what I have forseen!

**angelface:** Okay. Do you want to start or should I?

**icdafuture:** Truth or Dare!

**angelface:** Uhmmm, truth

**icdafuture:** Why are you so vain?

**angelface: **I don't know, I really don't realize I do it anymore -shrugs-

**icdafuture:** is it really that bad?

**angelface:** Not Really. But sometimes...anyway Truth or Dare?

**icdafuture:** Dare

**angelface:** I dare you...to...dress badly for one day.

**icdafuture:** Why?

**angelface:** Because you chose dare.

**icdafuture:** That just goes against everything about me.

**angelface:** Well I am sorry you chose dare. But you have to since I dared you.

**icdafuture:** Now I see why people hate you, but you didn't say which day! So, ha! Truth or Dare!

**angelface:** Damn you, you little demon pixie! And dare

**icdafuture:** I dare you to not have sex with Em for a MONTH!

**angelface:** Why are you doing this to me? And you didn't say which month! So ha! Truth or dare?

**icdafuture:** Dammit! Truth.

**angelface:** When you first kissed Jasper, deep and passionatly, was he bad?

**icdafuture:** Yes. Terrible actually. He'd never kissed anyone before.

**angelface:** Aww, thats kind of sad

**icdafuture:** what part?

**angelface:** The never kissed anybody part

**icdafuture:** I know. I hadn't eitehr. He's my first...everything...that I know of at least.

**angelface:** Aw that so sweet

**icdafuture:** Shut up.

**angelface:** What? I said it was sweet

**icdafuture:** You're going to tell everyone!

**angelface:** No I won't.

**icdafuture:** I saw it!

**angelface:** get back to the game!

**icdafuture:** Grrr. Truth or Dare?

**angelface:** Truth

**icdafuture:** Do you really love Emmett?

**angelface:** Of course I do

**angelface:** Truth or dare

**icdafuture:** Dare.

**angelface:** You aren't allowed to go shopping at all tomorrow

**icdafuture:** THAT'S NOT EVEN FAIR!

**angelface:** heehee

**icdafuture:** Truth or Dare.

**angelface:** Dare.

**icdafuture:** I dare you to kiss Edward full on the mouth when he gets home...in front of Emmett and Bella.

**angelface:** Oh thats cruel

**icdafuture:** I just want to see the look on their faces. I'm still a little bothered about yesterday though...

**angelface:** I am curious as to what those two were talking about

**icdafuture:** That's not what I was talking about...

**angelface:** Oh, then what are you talking about?

**icdafuture:** ...Jazzy called me...Edward while we were messing around...

**angelface:** What did he say?

**icdafuture:** I'm not going to get into details, but I was doing this thing that he liked and he screamed, "Oh Edward! Do it again!"

**angelface:** Oh my god. Emmett did that same thing!

**icdafuture:** Do you think they have a thing for...Edward?

**angelface:** I don't know. But I am curious

**icdafuture:** I think I know what we should do...

**angelface:** Hmm, we could set them into a trap to figure out whats going on

**icdafuture:** We could get them on...and double team them.

**angelface:** We should. Hm, but what should we do?

**icdafuture:** Hold on. Edward is calling me. This makes me curious...

**angelface:** Okay

**icdafuture:** Okay. That was just gross!

**angelface:** What? WHat happened?

**icdafuture:** Apparently, Jazz called Edward confessing his love for him yesterday...

**angelface:** Oh my god. Why does it sound like Emmett is behind this?

**icdafuture:** I don't know. Think we should talk them into playing Truth or Dare with us?

**angelface:** i think we shall

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Hello Jazzy Baby.

**angelface:** Em...

**Mr.Macho:** Rose...

**Jazzfest:** Hey Alice baby

**icdafuture:** Lets play Truth or Dare!

**Mr.macho:** I am up for it. But I must warn you. I am beastly at this game.

**angelface:** Really? Have you played it before?

**icdafuture:** What about you Jazzy? You up for it? Pwease?

**Mr.Macho:** Yes I have played it before.

**Jazzfest: **Fine, I will play.

**angelface:** Who'd you play with?

**icdafuture:** Yay! Okay. This is team Truth or Dare. Battle of the Sexes.

**Mr.macho:** Okay, girls vs. guys.

**angelface:** That is what battle of the sexes means sweetheart.

**Mr.macho:** Shut up...

**angelface:** Watch it, or I'll tell them about yesterday!

**Mr.macho:** Who wants to start?

**angelface:** Not us...we're...planning.

**Mr.macho:** What are you planning?

**Jazzfest:** I am scared. But Alice, truth or dare?

**icdafuture:** Truth.

**angelface:** nothng dear.

**Jazzfest:** Have you ever worn basketball shorts?

**icdafuture:** They're hideous! No.

**Jazzfest:** Your lying! I have seen you in them!

**icdafuture:** You have not!

**Jazzfest:** Yes I have!

**icdafuture:** No sex for Jazz for a month!

**angelface:** Oooo. burn.

**Jazzfest:** Your turn.

**icdafuture:** You're okay with no sex?!

**angelface:** Jazz, Truth or Dare?

**Jazzfest: **Truth.

**Mr.Macho:** ALice, he would probably use his amazing over-sensitive emotional powers to his advantage

**angelface: **Why did you call Edward and profess your love for him?

**Jazzfest:** Because. Emmett wouldn't do it.

**Mr.Macho:** WHATTTT?!

**angelface:** Why do I find that hard to believe?

**icdafuture:** I kinda do to.

**Jazzfest:** He really wuoldn't.

**Mr.Macho:** I hate you. Rosie, Truth or Dare

**angelface:** Truth.

**Mr.macho:** Hmmmm, Do you like Bella? Even a little bit?

**angelface:** Of course not!

**Mr.Macho:** I think you should give her a chance.

**icdafuture:** Me too.

**angelface:** Shut up and play.

**icdafuture:** Jazzy baby...

**Jazzfest:** yes?

**icdafuture:** Truth or Dare?

**Jazzfest:** Dare

**angelface: **WE dare you to break all the windows on the first floor...

**Jazzfest:** I am up for that. be right back

**mr.macho:** Hm, that sounds relaxing. Breaking a window.

**angelface:** Little does he know...Alice is video taping him. XD

**Mr.Macho:** Ahahahah, are you going to show Esme?

**angelface: **Only if we don't hear the truth. Were you really going to call Edward and profess your love to him?

**Mr.Macho:** Uhmm, Alice truth or dare?

**angelface:** She's still taping him. Answer please.

**Mr.Macho:** Dammit. Yeah

**Angelface:** WHY?!

**Mr.Macho:** To freak him out while he is on his honeymoon. I thought it would be funny

**angelface:** But you punked out...

**Mr.Macho:** No. I got Jasper on a recording while he did it. he doesn't even know

**icdafuture:** Hahaha. This is going to be priceless. I can't wait until Esme sees this! You got a recording of Jasper doing what?

**angelface:** Can we borrow that?

**Mr.Macho:** I got a recording of him confessing his love for Edward. Oh yeah.

**Jazzfest:** You did what.

**icdafuture:** EVILLLLLL

**angelface:** Your turn!

**Mr.macho:** Alice truth or dar

**icdafuture:** Truth.

**Mr.macho:** Do you hate Jasper sometimes?

**icdafuture:** When he lies.

**Jazzfest:** I never lie.

**icdafuture:** You're lying right now.

**Jazzfest: **What do I lie about?

**Mr.Macho: **Ohhhh! Rosie get some popcorn! This could get good

**angelface:** Wow. This game brings out the best...and worst of people. No popcorn. WTF.

**icdafuture:** You lied to me yesterday...after that thing...

**Mr.macho:** Oh Alice. Don't over react about that. I did the same thing. And Rose, to run around and throw at eachother.

**Jazzfest:** I neverrrrrr lied

**icdafuture:** Should I read the message history??

**angelface:** I'm not playing with human food, Emmett.

**Jazzfest:** Don't to it Alice.

**icdafuture:** Why not?

**Jazzfest:** If you love me you won't do it.

**icdafuture:** Why don't you want me to read it!

**angelface:** Be right back. I'm going to get some popcorn...

**Mr.Macho:** I will go with you Rose.

**Jazzfest:** Because its embarassing!

**icdafuture:** Tell me why Jazz.

**icdafuture:** Know what...I'll read it if you don't tell me whether I love you or not.

**Jazzfest: **Your evil.

**angelface:** Alice, don't do it.

**Mr.Macho:** Yeah Alice, it is embarassing for both of us

**icdafuture:** Both of us?

**Mr.Macho:** Err, yeah...

**angelface:** Emmett??

**Mr.Macho:** Mhm

**angelface:** What is going on?

**Mr.Macho:** Nuffin.

**Jazzfest:** DON'T TELL THIM ANYTHING!

**icdafuture:** I'll find out from Edward when they get back.

**Mr.Macho: **Way to be inconspicuous Jazz.

**Jazzfest:** My bad.

**angelface:** Next question!

**Mr.Macho:** It is your turn

**angelface:** truth or dare emmett.

**Mr.Macho: **Dare, Rosalie.

**angelface: **I dare you to tell me what is going on.

**Mr.macho:** Nothin is goin on. We are having a good ol' game o' truth or dare

**Angelface:** Now isn't the time to be dumb, husband.

**Mr.Macho:** I'm not, wife.

**Jazzfest:** ALICE! Get the popcorn.

**Angelface:** You piss me off.

**icdafuture:** Next!

**Jazzfest:** Alice, Truth or Dare?

**icdafuture:** Truth.

**Jazzfest:** Do you love Bella as much as you say you do? -evil grin-

**icdafuture:** More.

**angelface:** oO

**Jazzfest:** Really. How much?

**icdafuture:** Not telling.

**Jazzfest:** you have to.

**icdafuture:** That wasn't part of the question...

**Jazzfest:** Curse you.

**icdafuture:** Emmett...you're next. T or D?

**Mr.Macho:** Hmmmm, dare

**icdafuture:** I dare you to kiss...Carlisle!

**angelface:** Ew...

**Mr.Macho:** Okay, you once again never said where! mwahahahah

**Mr.macho:** ALICE! TRUTH OR DARE

**icdafuture:** Dare

**Mr.Macho:** I dare you to, kiss Edward on the lips at the same time as Jasper.

**icdafuture: **How can anyone do that?!

**Angelface:** She probably would have enjoyed it more if you said to kiss Bella.

**icdafuture:** ROSALIE!? She's my SISTER-IN-LAW! That's like way gross.

**Mr.macho:** Probably. But her and Jasper kissing Edward on the lips at the same time would be funny as hell.

**icdafuture: **Rose, I thought that you were on my team?!

**Mr.Macho:** She is, but you and Jazzy kissing Edward. It is making me laugh just picturing his face

**angelface:** Truth or dare...Emmett

**Mr.Macho:** Ask Jasper next time. and Truth

**Angelface:** no. And...How much do you love me?

**Mr.Macho:** I love you more than my own life

**Angelface:** You're technically not living.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay..I love you morethan my whole existence

**Angelface:** Edward used that line on Bella.

**Mr.macho:** Am I not allowed to let you know about how much I love you?!

**Angelface:** using your own words.

**icdafuture:** Do you feel pissy vibes, Jasper?

**Jazzfest: **Yes. Are they from you?

**Mr.Macho:** Fine Rose. I love you more than my video game collection.

**angelface: **That's better.

**icdafuture:** It was both Rose and me, but now she got her answer she's cool about it.

**Jazzfest:** I am still feeling those vibes. Hm.

**icdafuture:** Yeah.

**angelface:** next!

**Mr.macho: **Err, whos turn is it?

**icdafuture:** you guys ask.

**Jazzfest:** Rosalie, truth or dare?

**Angelface:** Truth.

**Jazzfest:** Do you secretly like to play video games when Emmett isn't around?

**Angelface:** Now, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret.

**Jazzfest:** Well dear sister, you did choose truth

**Angelface:** Fine. Yes.

**Mr.Macho: **So THATS what is happening to my high scores!

**Angelface:** What can I say? I kick ass

**Mr.Macho:** Grrrr

**Angelface: **Get better and you will beat me

**Mr.Macho:** Damn youuuuuuuu!

**icdafuture:** Jasper, Truthe or dare?

**Jazzfest:** Truth

**icdafuture:** Do you love me more than you love Edward?

**Jazzfest:** Yes

**Angelface:** What hell did I miss...?

**icdafuture:** Really?

**Jazzfest: **Yeshhhh

**Mr.Macho:** Mayne! Dat be all whack and shyt

**icdafuture: **Emmett...don't start with me.

**Angelface: **JASPER LOVES EDWARD?!

**Jazzfest: **Yeh mayne it b all kewl an shyt, but ya kno i luv muh gurl more den dat mind-readin' fool

**Mr.Macho:** YEAAAA MAYNE. Dat be sum strait up truth rite der!

**icdafuture:** talking about Edward was making you...EW! Jasper!

**Jazzfest:** Gurl watchu talkin bout?

**icdafuture:** I'm on our computer..and I'm reading the conversation from yetserday..

**Mr.Macho:** DAYUMMMMMMMMMMM!

**Jazzfest:** Das whack. SHIT DAMN FUCK!

**angelface:** I'm worried about them.

**icdafuture:** its not funny anymore guys. Don't make me tell Rose about what you said Emmett.

**Mr.Macho:** Please don't. Those were private!

**icdafuture:** Then don't tempt me.

**Angelface:** I've never seen her so pissed off like this..

**Jazzfest:** Calm yourself!

**icdafuture:** Make me.

**Jazzfest:** Please, babe. This was supposed to be an innocent game or truth or dare

**icdafuture:** Fine. Are you going to tell Edward?

**angelface:** wow.

**Jazzfest:** No

**icdafuture: **Okay. Then...I guess...I'll live.

**Angelface:** NEXT!

**Mr.macho:** Whos turn is it?

**Angelface:** You guys.

**Mr.macho:** Rose, Truth or dare?

**angelface: **Dare, my teddy bear.

**Mr.Macho:** Heehee, I dare you to...uhm LOVE JASPER! LOV HIM LIKE YOU HAE NEVER LOVED HIM BEFORE!

**Angelface:** That can't be good. I'm not helping my brother...cheat on his wife.

**Mr.Macho:** Not like that. You know what. It failed for Jasper also.

**angelface:** Failed? What are you tlaking about?

**icdafuture: **Jazzy hasn't hugged Emmett or told him he loves him today.

**Mr.Macho:** And I am sad.

**Jazzefst:** I am sorry Emmett.

**icdafuture:** Jazz, truth or dare?

**Jazzfest:** Truth

**icdafuture:** Damn! Hold on.

**angelface:** something is happening...

**Jazzfest:** What is happening?

**icdafuture:** Bella and Edward are coming home tomorrow...

**Mr.macho:** They are a week early! and that means Alice and Jasper have to give Edward and big SMOOCH on his lips , at the same time! WOOOO

**icdafuture:** No. Something is wrong with Bells.

**Jazzfest:** Oh, damn. like what? Did she hear my voicemail instead of Edward?

**icdafuture:** She heard it. That isn't what happened though. they were uh...doing stuff and he bit her...

**Mr.Macho:** So does that mean she is a vampire now?

**Angelface:** yes emmett.

**Mr.Macho:** Well freaking finally!

**icdafuture:** They'll be home first thing in the morning.

**Jazzfest:** Well atleast she is one of us now.

**icdafuture:** you're not going to like it when they get back.

**angelface:** none of us are.

**Mr.Macho:** Wait why?

**Angelface:** Eddie is pissed off at himself. It wasn't supposed to happen when they were having sex!

**icdafuture:** -giggle fit-

**Mr.Macho:** Well...hahaha...hahahah..didn't he promise her he would do it? After the wedding, hahahaha, While they were having sex! hahaha

**ICDAFUTURE:** You don't know the whole story!

**Mr.macho:** The walls have ears. But what is the entire story?

**icdafuture:** Bells started talking...getting into it...and screamed "Bite me!" So, he did. I just find that hilarious.

**Mr.Macho:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**Jazzfest:** HAHAHAHAHA wow!

**angelface:** I'm teasing him now.

**icdafuture: **Jazzy, be prepared to be very angsty tomorrow.

**Angelface:** WAIT! I can't believe it...EDWARD ISN'T A VIRGIN!

**Jazzfest:** Oh, I will be teasing him with Rosalie. OKAY! I have a dare for everybody! Everytime Edward talks to you just say "BITE ME!" and yell it as loud as you possibly can!

**Mr.macho:** WOW! He finally got laid! And I like Jazzy's plan!

**icdafuture:** That makes me laugh even harder. I think I needed this earlier... Me too! Lets do it.

**angelface:** What if he really does bite me though? It'll mess up my perfectness.

**Jazzfest:** He won't bitte you. He will just get pissed off even more. Hahahaha this will be perfect!

**Mr.Macho: **Dammit! I wish they would come back tonight! I wanna to the dare!

**icdafuture:** Hey Jazzy...

**Jazzfest: **Yeah babe?

**icdafuture:** Talking about this is kinda...hott. wink

**Angelface:** Not again!

**Jazzfest: **Wellwellwell

**Mr.Macho:** ughhhhh, take it to different chatroom.

**icdafuture:** Or we can take it to the bedroom.

**Angelface:** Ew. Gross. You're hornier than Emmett!

**Angelface:** And that is saying something!

**Mr.Macho:** God damn! And all I want to do today is play video games. Rose, I will challenge you to a video game competition! With the volume alll the way up so we don't have to listen to these two!

**Jazzfest:** I will beat you to the bedroom Alice!

_Jazzfest has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_

**angelface:** Only because you know that if I hear them screaming, I'll want it. XD

**Mr.Macho:** I just want to beat you at a video game. xD

**Angelface: **Wow. I think this is the first time you haven't wanted sex. I'm so proud of you baby!

**Mr.Macho:** Yeah yeah yeah! You, me. The Wii system. Super Mario Party 8. WE WILL SEE WHO DOMINATES!

**Angelface:** Okay. Beatcha down there!

_Angelface has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** I will win.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_


	14. Bite Me!

**We decided not to include the character list this time. It always messes up when we upload and never goes back to the way its meant to look. We hope you enjoy this chapter! We had fun with it. Oh, sorry it took so long to get it up too.**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Fourteen - BITE ME!

_icdafuture has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** Alice!

**icdafuture:** Emmett! Guess what!

**Mr.Macho:** What?!

**icdafuture:** Bella and Edward will be back from hunting in about 5 minutes! Nobody's started the bite me thing yet.

**Mr.macho:** Well, that is because Edward hasn't started talking yet!

**icdafuture:** Trueeeeeee!

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** My incredibly Dimwitted brother and beautiful wife. How are we doing today?

**Mr.Macho:** Anxious. I want to start saying Bite me!

**icdafuture:** hey Jazzy Baby. 3 minutes! Get Rose on!

_angelface has signed on_

**angelface:** I am actually excited to see Bella now.

**Jazzfest:** You haven't seen her yet?

**Mr.macho:** none of us have.

**angelface:** They aren't home yet.

**icdafuture:** ...

**angelface:** What?

**icdafuture:** They're here! get ready!

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

**Mr.Macho:** Okay, we are ready.

**icdafuture:** Save it til they get on.

**Jazzfest:** BITE ME! Yup. I'm ready too.

**icdafuture:** -hits Jazz on the head-

**Mr.Macho:** Are they inside yet?

**icdafuture: **They're walking to his room...

**Jazzfest: **TOO MUCH LUST! I wouldn't believe that it was possible for them to feel anymore lust towards each other!?

**Mr.macho:** Oh god damn.

angelface: Are you serious? We should all run in their room yelling bite me.

**icdafuture:** Bella is signing on. I'm not sure about edward though.

_vampcrzy has signed on_

**vampcrzy:** hola familia.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Hello family!

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**Jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**tomanyvoices:** What the hell?

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**vampcrzy:** EDWARD!

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, love?

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**vampcrzy:** What's going on...?

_mamabear has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** Esme, do you happen to know whats going on?

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest: **BITE ME!

**mamabear:** BITE ME! Nope. No idea. How was the honeymoon?

**angelface:** Oh, sorry I missed that one! BITE ME!

**tomanyvoices:** It was good, I..uhm..erm..changed Bella

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**mamabear:** That's wonderful!

**vampcrzy:** He's pissy.

**tomanyvoices:** I am not pissy.

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

**tomanyvoices:** WHAT THE HELL! STOP THAT!

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**vampcrzy:** STOP GUYS. He's about to throw his stereo...HIS STEREO!

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, shouldn't you rest?

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface: **BITE ME!...and too bad

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**vampcrzy:** I'm laying down. On the laptop you got me. In our bed. That...we ...HIII ESME!

**Mr.Macho: **You and Edward didn't already have sex, for being home only 10 minutes did you?!

**tomanyvoices:** No, Emmett, we didn't.

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**vampgrl:** -whispers- I want to.

**mamabear:** EDWARD ISN'T A VIRGIN ANYMORE?! Alice lets throw a party for him!

**Mr.Macho:** Heyy Bella! You changed your screenname. I think Edwards should be...BITE ME

**angelface:** Oh poor Esme. What else would you think Edward would have to extend the honeymoon for? He was having a good ol' time!

**Jazzfest:** BITE ME! Oh...opps. that was Emmett.

**mamabear:** I didn't think he'd actually have sex with her until she was a vampire...

**vampgrl:** That's how he changed me.

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** Perfect timing...BITE ME!

**tomanyvoices:** Shut the hell up!

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**vampcrzy:** ohhh... I get it now. BITE ME!

**tomanyvoices:** I am going to go play piano.

_tomanyvoices has gone away_

**Mr.Macho:** WOOHOO! We pissed him off!

**vampcrzy:** Who knew about it?

**Jazzfest:** Was he any good, Bella?

**Mr.Macho:** Yeah Bells! Our little Eddie-weddie is growing up. He is finally a man.

**vampgrl:** I guess. I mean...he was my first...and only...

**icdafuture:** IT was amazing! So...Emmett, remember what we talked about?

**vampgrl: **He plays the piano so beautifully. I want to cuddle...

**Mr.Macho:** Where you and Jasper have to go kiss Edward o the lips at the SAME TIME?!

**vampgrl:** DO WHAT THE HELL?!

**Mr.Macho:** You saw what I said.

**angelface:** We had an intense Truth or Dare game while you guys were gone/

**vampgrl:** I want to play!

**Jazzfest:** No you don't! Not after what I had to go through. -evil glare at Emmett-

**Mr.Macho:** heeheehee. Bella. If you want to play we will.

**angelface:** NO!

**vampgrl: **As long as Eddie plays.

**mamabear:** You guys played Extreme Truth or Dare? Is that why my windows were gone?

**Mr.Macho:** Jasper actually had to let out some anger. We have proof

**Jazzfest:** You did what!?

**icdafuture:** its payback for the Edward thing.

**vampgrl:** Edward thing?

**icdafuture:** EMMETT!

**Mr.Macho: **Whoopsie

**angelface: **Oh my god.

**icdafuture:** Get Edward on and do it!

**Mr.Macho:** DO what?

**icdafuture:** Nevermind.

**Jazzfest:** Dis shyts wack yo'

_Jazzfest has went away_

**Mr.Macho:** Did I do something? Or was I supposed to do something?

**icdafuture:** No. I'll do it later. He might get pissed off at me, but oh well. He should have told me that he was having gay thoughts about Edward!!

**vampgrl:** WHATTTTTTTTTTTT

**mamabear:** My son is gay?

**Mr.Macho:** Err yeah, our little Jazzy has more feelings than we thought.

**angelface:** Emmett, you are just stretching the truth. I can tell when doofus here stretches the truth/

**icdafuture:** I read it with my own bionic eyes.

**vampgrl: **-screams for Edward-

**Mr.Macho: **Ohhh, this is gonna get hostile.

**vampgrl:** Oh honey, it is on like donkey kong!

**Mr.Macho:** What the hell?

**vampgrl:** Just get Edward and Jazz back online.

_tomanyvoices has retuned from away_

**tomanyvoices: **You guys are not going to say bite me one more time. That is a warning.

**Mr.Macho:** bite me.

_Jazzfest has returned from away_

**Jazzfest:** Can I help you?

**vampgrl: **YOU LOVE MY HUSBAND MORE THAN A BROTHER?!

**tomanyvoices:** WHATTTTTTTT?!

**Jazzfest:** EMMETT I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU! THAT WAS PRIVATE!

**vampgrl:** Let me at him! I'm going to rip him to pieces and then burn him!

**Mr.Macho: **I never said anything!

**icdafuture:** Sorry Jazzy Baby. I was the one that told them.

**tomanyvoices:** Jasper. You still don't have those feelings..do you?

**Jazzfest:** ...

**Jazzfest:** I..uh..need to go..to school!

_Jazzfest has went away_

**Mr.Macho:** He told me they are gone.

**angelface:** I just hope so.

**tomanyvoices:** Oh..my..god. Is it possible for vampires to get sick?

**icdafuture:** No.

**vampgrl:** Is it possible for new ones to cry?

**Mr.Macho:** Alice, just make sure he still doesn't have those feelings. If so I am gonna have to man him out. And Alice, you will have to help

**icdafuture:** Oh, I will.

**vampgrl:** I seriously want to cry right now!

**tomanyvoices:** I want to cry with you.

**angelface:** Bella! Edward! It will be fine.

**Mr.Macho:** Don't worry. We will have him back to the old Jasper in no time.

_Jazzfest has returned from away_

**Jazzfest:** ALICE LOVES BELLA MORE THAN SHE SAYS SHE DOES!

**tomanyvoices:** YOU TWO NEED TO GET NORMAL AGAIN! Rent out a hotel room or something!

**vampgrl:** Is it too much to ask one of you to come kill me now? I don't want to be a vampire or even be in this family anymore...

**tomanyvoices:** Bella. This is just a stage they all go through. Emmett has gone through it before. It will pass. Please stay.

**vampgrl:** hell no! Are you kidding me? Your family is full of kooks.

**mamabear:** Bella? Please don't leave. it won't be right. Edward would be depressed again...

**Mr.Macho:** Bells, please don't leave. We were playing Truth or Dare he was probably pulling my leg

**icdafuture:** Hey...Jazz...Lets got hot angry makeup sex.

**Jazzfest:** Okay. -shrug-

_icdafuture has signed off_

**Jazzfest: **Awesome.

_Jazzfest has signed off_

**vampgrl:** But...

**tomanyvoices:** Please, Bella.

**vampgrl:** Okay. Fine. You guys still creep me out.

**mamabear:** Would you like me to come up and sit with you Bell?

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, why are you acting like this? It is all in good fun.

**vampgrl: **you're not creeped out by all this?

**tomanyvoices:** It happens all the time.

**vampgrl:** I don't want it to happen to me.

**mamabear:** Remember when Rose wanted Carlisle? Oh my god. that was funny.

**tomanyvoices:** Oh that was hilarious! And don't worry Bella. How about we make all those creeped out feelings go away tonight?

**Mr.Macho:** Oh shut up.

**angelface: **Wow. never expected Edward to say that.

**vampgrl:** You...wanna...

**mamabear:** Oh. My. God.

**tomanyvoices:** Only if you want to

**Mr.Macho:** Talk about this in your own time!

**angelface:** Please!

**vampgrl:** Did I just hear what I think I heard?

**mamabear:** Do what the older vampires say...

**tomanyvoices: **What do you think you heard, love? -mischeivious grin-

**vampgrl:** My name. Moans. -twitch- Sex. - twitch-

**tomanyvoices:** Uhm, lets get out of this chat room, Bella.

**Mr.Macho:** Yes! Leave!

**angelface:** NOW!

**vampgrl:** Can't I just...

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Hey guys. You still here?

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, lets gooooooo!

**Mr.Macho:** I am leaving. The video games are calling me.

**angelface:** And I think I should dominate in said video games.

**vampgrl:** I want your body!

**icdafuture:** Everyone is leaving me now? -pouts-

**tomanyvoices:** I will talk to you all later!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** Finally!

**angelface:** He's gone!

**vampgrl:** Can you believe it?!

_vampgrl has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Did she fall for it?

**Mr.Macho:** Yes she did. And so did Edward. It was great. I got their expressions on video.

**icdafuture:** Awesome. Did she hear me saying her name?

**mamabear:** Yup!

**angelface:** You, my dear family, are devious.

**icdafuture:** Sorry that we didn't let you in on things Rose.

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** Wow. I'm on my cell phone, outside and I can hear them...

**Mr.Macho:** Damn. We need to yell bite me. You know. Lighten the mood.

**Jazzfest:** On three...

_-as all the Cullens run to Edwards door-_

_-all countdown-_

**icdafuture:** BITE ME!

**Jazzfest:** BITE ME!

**mamabear:** BITE ME!

**Mr.Macho:** BITE ME!

**angelface:** BITE ME!

_vampgod has signed on_

**vampgod:** BITE ME!

_vampgod has signed off_

**icdafuture:** Lets do it again!

**Jazzfest:** Whoa! Seriously? How'd he get home. CARLIEEEEEEEEEE!

**angelface:** He signed off Jazz.

**Jazzfest:** Dammit! Hey Alice...Hearing this is making me...worse. -wink-

**Mr.Macho:** Ughhhh, Rose do you want to go play video games?

**angelface: **Sure Emmy.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

_angelface has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** Lets go.

**icdafuture:** Meet ya in the bedroom.

_icdafuture has signed off_

**jazzfest:** Sorry Esme

_Jazzfest has signed off_

**mamabear:** Now where is Carlisle...

_vampgod has signed on_

**vampgod:** I am right here

**mamabear:** Are you in the house, dearest?

**vampgod:** I just got back. Are those noises Edward and Bella? I am shocked.

**mamabear:** Its more like Edward, Bella, Jazz, and Alice.

**vampgod:** I can't believe Edward isn't a virgin anymore..

**mamabear:** Your day off is tomorrow, right?

**vampgod: **Mhm

**mamabear:** Emmett, Alice, Jazz, and I played a prank on the two lovebirds. We'll show you the tape tomorrow. I wanna get in on this little...contest they got going though...

**vampgod:** What is the contest?

**mamabear:** Just listen to them!

**vanpgod: **Oh, they are trying to see who is louder?

**mamabear: **Yes, love.

**vampgod:** Then why do Emmett and Rosalie have the TV turned up all the way? Are they competing for high scores?

**mamabear:** I dont' know. I think they're getting out of the sex habit. You know it was like 5 years ago that we just didn't find it interesting anymore? Give it a couple years and they'll get back in it.

**vampgod:** yeah...But now we have to listen to Edward and Bella.

**mamabear:** Oh. My. Carlisle. You're so dense headed for a doctor...

**vampgod:** What? It has been a long day

**mamabear:** Meet me in our room. I'll be the one in lace.

_mamabear has signed off_

**vampgod:** Oh damn.

_vampgod has signed off_


	15. Good Googley Moogley

**Alrighty then! Sorry that it took me awhile to update this story. I was working a lot on Twice In Your Life and Happily Ever After. It'll be a day or two before I update again.**

**DISCLAIMER: Rebecca and Lil might be wooshing weiners, but we do not own anything Twilight.**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;

Chapter Fifteen - Good Googley Moogley

_((vampgrl has signed on))_

_((tomanyvoices has signed on))_

**tomanyvoices:** Uh oh.

**vampgrl:** What's wrong Edward?

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett and Jasper just got done watching movies.

**vampgrl:** Is that a bad thing?

**tomanyvoices:** They were musicals.

**vampgrl:** I still don't get it.

**tomanyvoices:** They both know the words to all the songs, love.

**vampgrl:** Okay...

**tomanyvoices:** Bella they will start singing. And they are tone def.

**vampgrl:** Oh god!

_((icdafuture has signed on))_

**icdafuture: **Oh. My. God! Please don't tell me...

**tomanyoices:** They just got done with Sweeney TOdd, Chicago and Grease. THey will be singing more Chicago and Sweeney Todd though.

**icdafuture:** Oh God.

**vampgrl:** I love those movies!

**tomanyvoices:** We all do to. But it is Emmett nd Jasper's singing.

**vampgrl:** I've never heard them...

_((Mr.Macho has signed on))_

_((Jazzfest has signed on))_

**Mr.Macho:** Come on Boys

**Jazzfest:** Why don't we paint the town?

**Mr.Macho:** AND ALL THAT JAZZ!

**tomamyvoices:** And it has begun.

**icdafuture:** Oh no! Run and hide!?

**vampgrl:** I don't get it...

**Mr.Macho:** Wanna buy a bottle mista?

**Jazzfest:** WHat is this? Smells like piss

**Mr.Macho:** Smells like-ew!

**Jazzfest:** This is piss. Piss with ink!

**vampgrl:** I love that song.

**tomanyvoices:** I did to, till they started singing it.

**Mr.macho:** WHat is it?

**Jazzfest:** WELL IT GREASED LIGHTNING!

**vampgrl:** GO GREASED LIGHTENING!

**Mr.Macho:** This car is automatic, its systomatic

**Jazzfest:** Its, HYYYYYYYYYDROMATIC

**vampgrl:** I love my brothers. Even if one of them is gay...

**icdafuture: **Edward...

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, Alice?

**Jazzfest: **I am not gay. That was 50 years ago that I kissed that guy! I thought he was a woman!

**icdafuture:** Uhm...

**tomanyvoices:** Spit it out.

**icdafuture:** I think that we need to keep Bella away from the guys.

**tomanyvoices:** Why?

**Mr.Macho:** YOUR THE ONE THAT I WANT!

**Jazzfest:** YOU-HOO-HOO!

**vampgrl:** Honey!

**icdafuture:** She's singing with them!

**tomanyvoices:** Oh dear.

**icdafuture:** You see the problem then?

_((Angelface has signed on))_

**Angelface:** Emmett stop singing.

**Mr.Macho:** Neverrrr!

**Jazzfest:** When'dja get here?

**Mr.Macho: **1920!

**Jazzfest:** How old were ya?

**Mr.Macho:** Don't rememba!

**icdafuture:** Dammit!

**Angelface:** As long as nobody else starts singing now.

**tomanyvoices:** This will turn out badly if they start dancing.

**vampgrl:** I'm going to go find the guys now.

**Mr.macho:** When your good to MAMAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Jazzfest:** MAMAAAAAAAA'S GOOD TO YOU!

**Angelface:** Dammit all! She's dancing to the stairs...

**icdafuture: **This won't end every well...

**tomanyvoices:** Atleast she has the grace now, not to trip and go flying down the stairs.

**Mr.Macho:** Jazzy. Do you know where we stored the microphones?

**Jazzfest:** I believe I do, older broher/

**icdafuture:** Just because she has the grace, doesn't mean that she still won't trip. Which she did.

**tomanyvoices:** Dammit. And those morons got out the microphones.

**vampgrl:** I'm on top of the world!

**tomanyvoices: **Or at the bottom of the stairwell.

**vampgrl:** And when I get donwstiars they stop. Story of my life!

**Mr.Macho: **Sorry, Bells. But it is all over once you find out the microphones don't work.

**Angelface:** Thanks for taking the batteries out of them Alice.

**Mr.Macho:** That was you?!

**Jazzfest:** Evil.

**tomanyvoices:** Well hell

**icdafuture:** You all still love me.

**vampgrl:** -mumbles- I don't.

**Angelface:** What is going on now...

**Jazzfest:** -grumbles- I do.

**Mr.Macho:** Hmph. You are a bigger buzzkill than Jasper.

**tomanyvoices:** I think she saved all of our hearing.

**vampgrl:** Did I hear...Esme and Carlisle yesterday?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes.

**Jazzfest:** They took part of the contest.

**Mr.Macho:** And I lost. Rosalie beat me in all my video games.

**Angelface:** Of course I did. I kick ass!

**icdafuture:** They do that sometimes.

**vampgrl:** We were having a contest?

**tomanyvoices:** Erm, nevermind.

**Jazzfest: **Yeah...its nothing.

**vampgrl: **EDWARD!

**icdafuture:** You didn't tell her about our contests?

**tomanyvoices:** I thought there was no need to.

**Jazzfest:** Really Bella. It is nothing to worry about.

**icdafuture:** Wow. Eddie is in the doghouse.

**angelface:** I'm just shocked that Esme and Carlisle won...

**tomanvoices:** I don't even want to think about it!

**Mr.macho:** I couldn't hear any of you. I was caught up in the video game

**Jazzfest:** Haha, Ed's in the doghouse. Better yet, in the wolf house xD

**vampgrl:** -growls at the mention of wolves-

**Angelface:** Edward, you know that you heard the doorbell ring. It was funny when Charlie came over becuase of the noise.

**tomanyvoices:** Haha, yeah. It was awkward.

**Mr.Macho:** I didn't even notice.

**Jazzfest:** Wow. I didn't know that

**vampgrl:** My dad was here?

**Angelface:** hahaha.

**tomanyvoices:** You didn't know?

**Mr.Macho:** -giggles-

**Jazzfest:** Wowwww

**vampgrl:** I was listening to music. I wasn't paying attention. The music was as loud as your stereo would go. OME! He probably heard the song I was listening too. Maybe we should stop listening to music when we...yeah...

**tomanyvoices:** Mhm...

**Mr.Macho:** Is anybody up for a Dance Dance Revolution competition?

**Angelface:** I'll kick your ass.

_((Mamabear has signed on))_

**vampgrl:** I can't believe that you guys didn't tell me that there was a contest. Edward...you get no sex for the rest of the week!

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett just mentioned it..

**mamabear:** Alice, where is the tape? Carlisle is going to watch it...

**icdafuture:** I'll bring it to you in a few minutes. I want to see his reaction to it.

**vampgrl:** You taped them having sex?

**Mr.Macho:** Nope. We taped Edwards reaction to something..

**vampgrl:** Edward's reaction to what?

**icdafuture:** DON'T TELL 'EM!

**mambear:** Carlisle and I are going to watch this video now...

**Jazzfest:** Oh, it's nothing. Isn't it Bellas reaction also?

**vampgrl:** My reaction?o-O

**Mr.Macho:** Oh. Its nothing.

**vampgrl:** I think we should watch this video too...

**Jazzfest:** i don't think so

**vampgrl:** If I'm on it. I'm giong to watch it.

**Jazzfest:** Fine, just don't kill us.

**vampgrl:** Okay. I won't.

**icdafuture:** Except I see her wanting to kill us.

**Angelface:** I wasn't in on this!

**Mr.macho:** Erm. Just remember how much you love us Bella.

**tomanyvoices:** I want to see this video also.

**Jazzfest:** This is going to be deadly.

**icdafuture:** Esme better run. She'll be the closest to them.

**vampgrl:** ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

**Mr.macho:** -laughs a booming laugh-

**tomanyvoices:** You are all dead to me.

**vampgrl:** I'm leaving.

**tomanyvoices:** Same here. You are all cruel.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Mr.macho:** Well he took it well.

**Jazzfest:** I'd say.

_vampgrl has signed off_

**icdafuture:** They're not leaving yet.

**Mr.Macho:** That video was hilarious. I think we should youtube it.

**Jazzfest:** I think we should to something to the newlyweds

**icdafuture:** Like what?

**Angelface:** Now that we've all seen the video...I think Esme and Carlisle should help...

**Mr.Macho:** I am no Alice, but I forsee squirt guns that shoot silly string.

**icdafuture:** I see help from humans...

**mamabear:** i got the girls' cell phone numbers! should we call them?

**Mr.Macho:** Our little demon buddies?

**Jazzfest:** Ohhhh! This could get very very interesting

**angelface:** We should...

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Hey all!

**Mr.Macho:** REBECCA!

**Jazzfest:** Hello!

_squirtgrl has signed on_

**squirtgrl:** I hope this is good. I'm inthe shower, dammit!

**Mr.Macho:** Well get out of the shower. We wanna do something to the Newlyweds.

**squirtgrl:** Fine. One minute let me rinse my hair. Geez.

**mamabear:** So, as you know...we have tricked the two lovebirds...

**Mr.Macho:** Haha, we made them think Jazz had more than brotherly love feelings for Edward and for Bella, we told her Alice had more than sisterly love for her.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** That is brilliant!

**squirtgrl:** Alice does have more that sisterly love for Bella though...doesn't she?

**icdafuture:** Watch it demon.

**Jazzfest:** No. We just said that to freak them out and get their reactions on video.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I think, on the video, we pause it where their reactions are shown, put it into a picture and blow it up into a huge picture and hang it up in their room.

**angelface:** Isn't Carlisle supposed to be in on this? Or is he too busy watching out for them?

**Mr.Macho:** I think he is watching out for them

**mamabear:** We are.

**squirtgrl:** I think that someone should get chased!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** like who?

**icdafuture:** I like where you're going with this.

**angelface:** What is going on?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I am confused.

**Mr.Macho:** Same here.

**Jazzfest:** Ditto

**icdafuture:** Care to explain it to the rest of them?

**squirtgrl:** Don't mind if I do. So,you all run up to the room. Someone will have the video camera...this will the person being chased by Bella.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I will do it!

**Mr.Macho:** Me to! Rebecca and I could tag team!

**angelface:** Okay...who'll be chased by Edward?

**squirtgrl:** Haha. The camera that Emmett and Rebecca will be using...won't be recording anything. The one that will work...will be carried by me and one other person. The others that are left behind will mess up their room. Get rid of anything of importance to them. We should be able to keep them busy for a good hour...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** WOO! Okay, So Edward will chase me and Emmett will get chased by Bella

**icdafuture:** Uh...no.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I know. I was joking. Anyway back to buisness.

**icdafuture:** Who's going to be chased with Lil?

**Jazzfest:** I will do it.

**icdafuture:** Okay. Now...we have to come up with somewhere to put their stuff...

**angelface:** Smash Edward's CDs!

**Mr.Macho:** No. We will rent out a storage area. Put all the stuff in their.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** And remember, block your thoughts.

**icdafuture:** Got one! Right outside of Forks.

**squirtgrl:** Uhm...problem..

**Mr.Macho:** Okay, So Edwards CD's and what about Bella's stuff?

**angelface:** Take everything. Emmett you're not included. You're helping Rebecca, Jazz, and Lil.

**icdafuture:** You're right Lil. There is a problem.

**mamabear:** What is Carlisle and I doing?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Wait..what am I doing?

**Mr.Macho:** Why am I not included?!

**squirtgrl:** the four of us are bait. To get them apart. We run in different directions. Which brings up the problem. Rebecca and I cannot run fast.

**icdafuture:** You and Carlisle are staying watch.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Okay...so who will run in the room?

**squirtgrl:** Alice and Rose can handle it.

**angelface:** yup!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** okay. Then what will we do Lil?

**squirtgrl:** Keep them away from the house for as long as possible. In an hour...the 4 of us will be a couple states away...

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Okay. I get it now.

**Mr.Macho: **I still don't like the fact I can't be apart of this.

**icdafuture:** you ARE a part of it, Em.

**angelface:** you keep them away while we mess everything up.

_((vampgrl has signed on))_

**vampgrl:** I hate you all.

**mambear:** We'll drive the car when we get it full.

**Mr.Macho:** Why do you hate us, Bella?

**vampgrl:** I don't know what the hell you guys are planning, but don't think about it!

_((vampgrl has signed off))_

**icdafuture:** When are we doing this?

**Mr.Macho:** Well. Since we caught Bella in a good mood I am guessing...now.

**squirtgrl:** Becca I'm on my way to pick you up! We should be there in about 15 minutes guys! -waves-

_((squirtgrl has signed off))_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** See you guys in 15 minutes!

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** I like them.

**mamabear:** Told you that you should have given them a chance.

**angelface:** Dammit! I didn't tell that one to watch her lips with my husband!

**Mr.Macho:** She never did anything

**angelface:** You dont' know the mind of women hon.

**icdafuture:** I see no problems with the humans. They're not going to steal our husbands.

**mamabear:** I think I hear them...

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** We are outside

**angelface:** Watch your face with my husband. Or you'll have to answer to me.

**mambear:** Come on in.

**icdafuture:** I got the cameras!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I never did anything!

**angelface:** Don't think about it either!

_((angelface has signed off))_

**Mr.Macho:** Don't worry about her. Lets get this show on the road!

**mamabear:** Be careful kids!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yayyyyy

**icdafuture:** We start in 3 minutes. That'll be enought time for everyone to sign of..

**ARTICHOKIEE:** WOOOOHOOO

**Mr.Macho:** Yes!

**Jazzfest:** WOO!

_((icdafuture has signed off))_

**mamabear:** You three take care. Don't tempt Edward too much

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Thanks Esme, see you later!

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

_Jazzfest has signed off_

**mamabear:** Woohoo!

_((mamabear has signed off))_


	16. Capes and Weiners

**Alrighty then dears, we hope that you all love this chapter. We had some fun writing this chapter. We're very random.**

**DISCLAIMER: We no own. No sue us. Thank you!**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Sixteen - Capes and Weiners

_vampgrl has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** Hello litle sister!

**vampgrl:** Don't talk to me.

**Mr.Macho:** Oh you don't mean that.

**vampgrl:** I can't believe that you guys did that to us! I still can't find my stuff!

**Mr.Macho:** Wow. We gave your stuff back to you. And you two were asking for it.

_angelface has signed on_

**angelface:** Bella, I wasn't even in on it, but I thought it was funny as hell

**vampgrl:** Where did all my stuff get to though. You guys took it back or something! We were out hunting last night and all my stuff disappeared! You can't seirously tell met hat you didn't take it back!

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Hello family!

**Mr.Macho:** ALICE! Tell Bella we put her stuff back

**angelface:** We are not lying Bella.

**vampgrl:** Look, I'm just a little bit pissy that you guys won't give me my stuff.

**icdafuture:** Jazzy took it back!

**Mr.Macho:** Dammit, we gave back your stuff! Go look in your closet!

**icdafuture:** Emmett, shut up. I just said that Jazz took it back. He got pissed off because Bella was yelling at him because of Edward. She really thinks that Jazz still loves Edward.

**vampgrl:** I'm going to rip him to pieces! I...

**Mr.Macho:** AHHAHAHAHAH are you serious?!

**angelface:** -giggles- Wow...

**icdafuture:** I told her that it would happen. She didn't listen to me though.

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**vampgrl:** I'm going to kill you.

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** hey, whats going on?

**Mr.Macho:** Bella still thinks Jazz is in love with you and is pissed off cause apparently we didn't give her stuff back.

**Jazzfest:** Isabella Cullen, I am NOT in love with your husband. My non-beating heart belongs to Alice.

**vampgrl:** LALALALALALALALA

**tomanyvoices:** You are being very childish, Bella.

**Mr.Macho:** Yeah. You haven't even seen the video!

**angelface:** Emmett!

**vampgrl:** What video?

**Mr.Macho:** WOOOOOOOOOSH! I HAVE A CAPE!

**Jazzfest:** You don't have the cape. Its my cape! You don't get to say woosh! I GET TO SAY WOOSH BECAUSE ITS MY CAPE DAMMIT!

**Mr.Macho:** NO IT'S NOT! IT IS MY CAPE AND I WILL FLY OVER THE STAIRWELL YELLING WOOSH! you don't have the willpower.

**Jazzfest:** SHUT UP. ITS MY CAPE! What color is the cape if it isyours?

**vampgrl:** What video?!

**tomanyvoices:** Yes what video?

**Mr.Macho:** It is one of those cheap vampire ones you get at stores. Black on the outside and red on the inside.

**Jazzfest:** Wrong! Its pink!

**vampgrl:** if you don't tell me what video I'm going to kill all of you!

**Mr.Macho:** See! Then it can't be yours cause mine is red!

**tomanyvoices:** WHAT DAMN TAPE?!

**icdafuture:** You...don't want to know.

**Jazzfest:** You're lying.

**Mr.Macho:** I am not lying!

**angelface:** Ugh. You both have capes. Get over it!

**tomanyvoices:** WHAT TAPEEEEE!

**icdafuture:** Uhm...Well...don't shoot us. It wasn't our idea...

**vampgrl:** Just tell us!

**tomanyvoices:** AND STOP BLOCKING YOUR THOUGHTS! All though...the only thing going through Emmett and Jasper's thoughts is 'WOOSH!'

_-loud crash is heard-_

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. Jasper. If Esme asks you broke the vase we say it was Edward.

**vampgrl:** Dammit! Someone tell me!

**icdafuture:** We got you guys on video...

**tomanyvoices:** Doing what?

**Mr.Macho:** I SMELL SOMEBODY ROASTING WEINES!

**icdafuture:** SEX TAPE!

**Jazzfest:** WEIIIIIIIIIIIINERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!

**vampgrl:** YOU...SEX...TAPE...

**Mr.Macho:** No. It's not a sex tape. It is reactions. But not saying to what. JAZZY! Lets run past whoever it is with our capes! Yelling WOOOOOOSH!

**Jazzfest:** okay!! I think we should too. anythng broken, we blame it on Edward and Bella having sex.

**vampgrl:** JUST TELL US EXACTLY WHATS GOING ON!?

**Mr.Macho:** That sounds perfect. SHould we get it on video?

**tomanyvoices:** WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU FREAKING TALKING ABOUT?!

**angelface:** This is going to be even better.

**icdafuture:** You tape it, Esme comes after you guys

**Mr.Macho:** Heeheehee

**tomanyvoices:** What video.

**icdafuture:** Emmett, just tell him. He's getting pissed off.

**vampgrl:** Edward...lets get out of here. They're really grinding my gears...

**Mr.Macho:** FINE! We got your guys' reactions on video when Alice and Jasper told you guys that they had gay feelings for you. No big deal.

**vampgrl:** ...wow...We watched that video yesterday with Carlisle and Esme.

**icdafuture:** I told you it was the sex video that we got them with Rebecca and Lil, but NOOOOOOOOO you don't listen to me

**Mr.Macho: **...Oh yeah.

**angelface:** Dimwit.

**tomanyvoices:** I am going to kill you guys.

**vampgrl:** I smashed the tape that Lil had.

**Mr.Macho:** Thats not nice.

**tomanyvoices:** They were asking for it.

**angelface:** -shkes head-

**vampgrl:** She told me that it was the real tape. That it was all her idea.

**icdafuture:** it was..

**Mr.Macho:** Yup. All her idea

**Jazzfest:** I've never been hurt by Bella until then. She punched me into a tree...

**Mr.Macho:** Ouch.

**tomanyvoices:** HA! Be a man!

**Jazzfest:** It hurt though!

**vampgrl:** You deserved it for teaming up with her.

**tomanyvoices:** Oh, how I wish someone got Bella punching Jasper into a tree.

**Mr.Macho:** What if I said I did?

**vampgrl:** He did.

**Mr.Macho:** But I didn't.

**tomanyvoices:** I am confused.

**Jazzfest:** I love confusing people.

**vampgrl:** You do what now? Ooo. You. Me. Outside. NOW!

**tomanyvoices:** Jasper!

**angelface:** Bella, you have a temper.

**icdafuture:** I see Jasper getting hurt very badly. :-/

**tomanyvoices:** Well, if I am seeing correctly. I just saw Bella throw Jasper into a giant tree.

**icdafuture:** This is interesting.

**Mr.Macho:** Weirdly interesting.

**angelface:** Strange is more like it.

**icdafuture:** I'm...actually enjoying this...

**tomanyvoices:** You enjoy seeing your husband get a can full of Whoop Ass by my wife?

**icdafuture:** Don't tell him I said that please

**Mr.Macho:** I will try not too(:

**icdafuture:** Why do I see him coming at me trying to attack me yelling "YOU ENJOYED HER KICKIN MY ASS?"

**tomanyvoices:** Cause Emmett just yelled out the window that you enjoy this.

**Mr.Macho:** DID NOT. I just said it to Rose and I guess he heard it...

**icdafuture:** it won't be for a little while.

**Mr.Macho:** Just prepare yourself.

**tomanyvoices:** That emotional soldier will do the unexpected...

**icdafuture:** Sorry. I was yelling out the window. XD

**Mr.Macho:** No problem. What were ya yelling?

**icdafuture:** For Bella to keep it up.

**tomanyvoices:** Ah. Well. She is kicking ass out there.

**icdafuture:** You enjoying this as much as I am?

**tomanyvoices:** Yeah. If she knew that I am probably next

**icdafuture:** She would never hurt you...except for...when you're...

**tomanyvoices:** Shut up.

**Mr.Macho:** Ohhhh, burn.

**icdafuture:** I never told you guys that story. Edward, you should tell them.

**tomanyvoices:** I would rather not.

**angelface:** What story?!

**Mr.Macho:** YEAH! What story?!

**icdafuture:** Well...you see...

**Mr.Macho:** SPIT IT OUT!

**angelface:** Right now

**icdafuture:** Well...they were doing what they do best...and Bella punched him in the nose.

**Mr.Macho:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**angelface:** hahahaha

**icdafuture:** I hope she doesn't find out that I told you guys that...

**Mr.Macho:** I will keep that one locked away. I want to get it on camera.

**tomanyvoices:** What is it with all of you and videos?!

**icdafuture:** Uhm...

**vampgrl:** Alice...dear...would you like to take a walk with me...outside...in the woods...by the TREES!?

**Mr.Macho:** WHOA

**angelface:** Dun dun dun daaaaa

**icdafuture:** I ... think I'm going to...go with Jazzy now.

_icdafuture has went away_

**Jazzfest:** I don't need help...

**tomanyvoices:** You, my brother, do need help

**vampgrl:** I think I needed that. Alice knows she can't hide from me though. I will be right back.

**Mr.Macho:** Whoa damn...

**Jazzfest:** i'm scared for her.

**angelface:** I think we all are

**vampgrl:** I should just break something...

**Mr.Macho:** Esme will murder you.

**vampgrl:** No. she'll murder Alice, because I'll tell her its Alice's fault..

**Jazzfest:** What is wrong with you?!

**Mr.Macho:** Seriously Bella!

**vampgrl:** What do you mean? Edward, what do they mean?

**tomanyvoices:** Uhm..I..don't know

**Jazzfest:** You lie!

**tomanyvoices:** Do not!

**Mr.Macho:** CAPES AND WEINESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**Jazzfest: **Edward, we talked about this last night.

**tomanyvoices:** Then you tell her!

**Jazzfest:** you're her husband!

**vampgrl:** Someone just bloody tell me!

**tomanyvoices:** I was distracted. You tell her.

**Mr.macho:** Wow...

**Jazzfest:** What were you distracted by?

**vampgrl:** Someone is going to be next!

**angelface:** I am gonna go paint my nails.

_angelface has signed off_

**tomanyvoices:** Not you thats for sure.

**Mr.Macho:** You are acting strange, Edward

**Jazzfest:** Oh! You are so nasty! I'm getting...ew. I don't want to do that to her! Dammit. Yuck. She's my sister!

**vampgrl:** DAMMIT JUST TELL ME!?

**tomanyvoices:** What are you talking about man?

**Jazzfest:** Who wants to ahve sex with Bella? I feel lust towards her...

**tomanyvoices:** Who do you think, idiot?

**Mr.Macho:** Dude. Please. Not here.

**Jazzfest:** God. You're like a raging hormone! And Emmett you're just afraid to admit it, because you know that Edward would like totally kil you.

**vampgrl:** i'm going to beat all three of you into a tree if soneone doesn't tell me what thehell is apparently wrong with me. Did Jazz just seriously say "totally"?

**tomanyvoices:** I think he did. And I am like a raging hormone because you won't tell my wife what she wants to know! Because I don't want to tell her!

**Mr.Macho:** How did I get brought into this?

**vampgrl:** TELL ME EDWARD.

**tomanyvoices:** mwahahaha

_-crash!-_

**tomanyvoices:** I swear. If Emmett ever gets on my computer again I will rip him to shreds.

**vampgrl:** TELL ME

**tomanyvoices:** I don't even remember what we were fighting about...

**vampgrl:** What was wrong with me...

**tomanyvoices:** Oh. You are on a fighting spree right now. And Emmett liked watching you beat up Jasper. He thought it was hilarious so he youtubed it.

**Mr.Macho:** I DID NO SUCH THING...

**vampgrl:** I don't believe you! I don't have aproblem.

**Jazzfest:** WEINERRRRRRRRRRR

**tomanyvoices:** It seemed like you did today...

**Mr.Macho:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

**vampgrl:** I can't believe that you're STANDING up for them.

**Jazzfest:** I'm a wooshing weiner.

**Mr.Macho:** I am a weiner thats wooshing

**tomanyvoices:** I am not standing up for them. I am just saying stuff off the top of my head!

_icdafuture has returned_

_vampgrl has signed off_

**icdafuture:** i think you're in the dog house again.

**tomanyvoices:** Shut up, Alice.

**Mr.Macho: **JAZZY!

**icdafuture:** I'm worried about her actually...

**Jazzfest:** Its because she's a newborn and she just lost her virginity. Remember... we all went through it.

**Mr.Macho:** JASPER! Lets play video games!

**tomanyvoices:** Bella. Let me make it up to you. I will take you wherever you want.

**icdafuture:** She signed off...

**Jazzfest:** Okay.

**tomanyvoices:** Oh..I thought it said she signed on. Never mind. I am gonna go find her.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** I will dominate Jasper Whitlock Hale!

**icdafuture:** i feel bad for them.

**Mr.Macho:** Why?

**icdafuture:** They're so in love...but...he's weird...and she's...fiesty now.

**Mr.Macho:** I think he was scared of her today. He usually never acts like that

**Jazzfest:** He was... but it was turning him on too.

**Mr.Macho:** Ughhhhh. He is a freak. A super freak, super freak, He's super freakyyyyy.

**Jazzfest:** Making me super freaky.

**Mr.Macho:** What The Hell.

**Jazzfest:** I'm horny from his horniness.

**Mr.Macho:** OH MY GOD! Stop talking about your feelings. We were supposed to play video games.

**icdafuture:** Your horniness makes me horny.

**Jazzfest:** I love you Emmett. XD

**Mr.Macho:** Why don't you to just go away or something. I have all these capes and hot dogs down here and I was thinking of doing some mischeif. But noooooooooooo. Jasper has to feel feelings!

**Mr.Macho:** HMPH!

**icdafuture:** You want me to go away?

**Jazzfest:** Mischeif is my middle name!

**Mr.Macho:** No, Alice. And Jasper, your middle name is EMOTIONAL. And it gets very annoying sometimes.

**Jazzfest:** I thought it was Whitlock.

**Mr.Macho:** Quit being a smartass.

**Jazzfest:** I'm not!

_icdafuture has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** Yes you are!

**Jazzfest:** Hey...we're all alone again...

**Mr.Macho:** Not for long! WOOOOOOOSH!

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** Damn!

_Jazzfest has signed off_


	17. RIP CARL

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Seventeen - R.I.P. Carl

_vampgrl has signed on_

_angelface has signed on _

**vampgrl:** Have you seen Eddie recently?

**angelface:** Nope. Have you seen Emmett?

**vampgrl:** No. I have not.

_icdafuture has signed on _

**icdafuture:** Has ANYONE seen Jazzy?

**angelface:** They have to be together.

**vampgrl:** Must be.

**angelface:** Which means no good.

**icdafuture:** No good at all.

**angelface:** Something will wind up broken

**vampgrl:** Edward will keep them under control...won't he?

**angelface:** Not necesarily

**icdafuture:** I'll call them.

**angelface:** Have you seen them getting into any trouble?

**icdafuture:** I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary, no.

**angelface:** Hm. Then maybe we can relax...

**icdafuture:** They'r at a pet store...

**angelface:** What are they doing there?

**icdafuture:** They're...shopping for a pet...

**angelface:** They know we cant have pets.

**vampgrl:** Because they'll eat it?

**angelface:** We all will Bella. I thinkwe would probably attack the poor creature and people would think of us as pet murderers

**icdafuture:** Nobody'll eat it...

**angelface:** That's odd.

**icdafuture:** Would you eat something named...CARL?!

**angelface:** I wouldn't even look at someone named Carl. Let alone an animal. The poor creature

**vampgrl:** Who would name anything CARL!?

**angelface:** Who knows. Alice?

**icdafuture:** Bella...

**angelface:** What type of animal is it Alice?

**icdafuture:** A...fish.

**angelface:** Then why don't we make sushi out of it?! I mean a fish! Come on! They aren't cute! Puppies are cute! But a fish?!

**icdafuture:** Well, we can kill it and make sushi...

**vampgrl:** What TYPE of fish?

**angelface:** WHO CARES?! Let's sell it to a Chinese resteraunt. HA!

**icdafuture:** Gold fish. You'll have to ask Bella, Rose.

**angelface: **Bella?

**vampgrl:** Why me?

**angelface: **Can I sell your fish?

**vampgrl:** MY FISH?!

**angelface:** Yeah. Can I sell it?

**vampgrl:** I don't HAVE a fish!!

**angelface:** Apparently you will once the guys get back. Haven't you been paying attention?

**vampgrl:** What did you think about when you found Emmett? sure as hell wsn't pets, I"m sure.

**icdafuture:** Edward wants to make up for yeterday. I should sign off before they get home.

**angelface:** Why? And what do you mean, Bella?

**icdafuture:** Ew. Bella I don't want to see that! They told me not to tell Bella. XD

**angelface:** I am so confused. Someone explain something right now!

**icdafuture:** Our sexdrives have never been this high. Lets just say that.

**angelface:** You two are disgusting.

**angelface:** Oh wow. I just said that.

**angelface:** Emmett has corrupted me with video games!

**icdafuture:** That would be Bella. She made the decision, and I just...saw it in action...

**angelface:** Bellllllllllllllla. You naughty girl.

**vampgrl:** I'm sorry that...did I just hear a car?

**angelface:** I believe you did.

_tomanyvoices has signed on _

_Mr.Macho has signed on _

**angelface:** A DAMN FISH?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?

_icdafuture has signed off _

**vampgrl:** A fish?

**vampgrl:** What the hell are you talking about?

**tomanyvoices:** Dammit.

**Mr.Macho:** Whattt?! It is a cute little fella.

**angelface:** Wow, Bella. You are slightly dense today.

**vampgrl:** Alice said that they weren't supposed to know that she told me!

**vampgrl:** ...

**vampgrl:** Ooops.

**tomanyvoices:** Well. Surprise.

**Mr.Macho:** WE NAMED HIM CARL!

**angelface:** Oh my god. Like I said. Chinese resteraunt

**vampgrl:** Go for it Rose. Edward, you know that I don't like you buying me stuff.

**tomanyvoices:** But I wanted to.

**Mr.Macho:** NOBODY IS MAKING CARL INTO SUSHI!

**angelface:** YOU NAMED IT CARL!?

**vampgrl:** Who in their right mind would let anything named CARL live?

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett

**Mr.Macho:** What is wrong with the name Carl?!

**angelface:** EVERYTHING!

**vampgrl:** It doesn't deserve to LIVEEEEEEE!

**angelface:** It mus be destroyed!

**Mr.Macho:** NOBODY IS GOING TO TOUCH CARL!

**tomanyvoices:** What is wrong with you two?!

**vampgrl:** Nothing. There is something wrong with the fish...

**angelface:** Except the name!

**Mr.Macho:** God dammit! Nothing is wrong with the name Carl!

**tomanyvoices:** I will get Alice for this.

_icdafuture has signed on _

**icdafuture:** Get over it Emmett, the fish dies anyways.

**Mr.macho:** Wh-wha-WHATT?!

**icdafuture:** He goes to the little toilet bowl in the sky!

**Mr.Macho:** Stop saying such horrid things!

**icdafuture:** You're hardheaded. I'll get Jazz for this one.

**tomanyvoices:** I am going to get a fishbowl and what not. I will be back on later.

_tomanyvoices has signed off _

**Mr.Macho:** Jazz never did anything. You are the one insulting Carl!

**angelface:** AGAIN WITH THE NAME CARL!

**vampgrl:** I think I want to cuddle with Carl...

_Jazzfest has signed on _

**Jazzfest:** Sorry bro. Carl dies.

**angelface:** HOW THE HELL DO YOU CUDDLE WITH A FISH?! You peole are making me tired. Which is hard to do.

**Mr.Macho:** The good always die young!

**vampgrl:** Yes, we did. You take it out of the water and let it DIE!

**angelface:** Kill Carl!

**Mr.macho:** I am comig to save him! You two are horrible meanyheads!

**Jazzfest:** I should get Edward...

**Auto Response from vampgrl:** Killing Carl.

_angelface has gone away _

**Mr.Macho:** Rose?

**Auto Response from angelface:** Helping destroy Carl.

_Puppylove has signed on _

**Puppylove:** Who the hell is Carl?

**Mr.Macho:** An adorable little goldfish that Bella and Rose are KILLING!

**Puppylove:** So, he's not a human?

**Mr.Macho:** What part of GOLDFISH did you not understand?

**Puppylove:** What's got your panties in a bunch?

**Mr.Macho:** THEY ARE KILLING CARL!

**Puppylove:** And your connection to the GOLDFISH is?

**Mr.Macho:** He is cute! And his name is freaking CARL!

**Puppylove:** Who the hell named the fish Carl?

**Mr.Macho:** Do you have a problem with the name Carl?

**Puppylove:** Its just...weird...

**Jazzfest:** I'm enjoying this...

**Mr.Macho:** WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH THE NAME CARL?!

**Jazzfest:** its stupid.

**Mr.Macho:** You agreed with me on the name!

**Jazzfest:** Because you were really excited and it made me excited..

**Puppylove:** Now, if that isn't gay, I don't know what is...

**Mr.Macho:** Shut the hell up dog.

**Puppylove:** You wanna scrap leech? I beatcho ass!

**Jazzfest:** Wow...

**Puppylove:** sorry. I watched "In the Land of Women" today.

**Jazzfest:** And you call me gay...

**Mr.Macho:** No. I am gonna mourn over CARL!

_angelface has returned from away _

**angelface:** WOO! Carl is dead. Sorry Emmett.

**Mr.Macho:** You monster.

**vampgrl:** how do you like me now, bitch?

**Mr.Macho:** YOU ARE ALL CRUEL

vampgrl: I want Edward...Anyone...oh damn...

**Jazzfest:** He went to get a...

**Mr.Macho:** HE WENT TO GO GET A FISH BOWL FOR CARL! BUT I SEE IT ISn'T NEEDED ANYMORE!

**angelface:** Jeez Emmett. Calm down.

**Mr.macho:** No. You killed Carl!

**Puppylove:** I guess I've spent enought time on here...

**angelface:** If you know what is best with you. Emmett will go on and on about that wretched fish.

**Mr.Macho:** I remember the car ride home with him! He was so innocent!

**vampgrl:** uhm...HE'S A FISH...well...WAS a fish.

**Mr.Macho:** An innocent fish that did no wrong!

**angelface:** YOU NAMED IT CARL!

**vampgrl:** The name would have been the death of him! Oh, it was.

**Jazzfest:** Bella, Edward bought it for you! You KILLED something EDWARD bought you because he LOVES you and he's sorry for yesterday!

**angelface:** Then you guys shouldn't have named it Carl.

**Mr.Macho:** Cruel, cruel cruel, mean, mean, mean, harsh, harsh, harsh.

**vampgrl:** How mad is he Jazz?

**Jazzfest:** Run!

**angelface:** No.

**Mr.Macho:** I am going to go give Carl the proper burial.

_Mr.Macho has signed off _

_tomanyvoices has signed on _

**tomanyvoices:** What happend to Carl.

_vampgrl has signed off _

**Jazzfest:** Bella and Rosalie killed him, because his name was Carl.

**angelface:** Why the hell would you name the poor creature such a bad name?!

**tomanyvoices: **You killed the fish because of it's name?!

**icdafuture:** Tried to warn you, Emmett...

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett signed off. I just can't believe you killed the fish because of its name

_vampgrl has signed on _

**vampgrl:** Did Edward sign off yet?

**tomanyvoices:** No.

**angelface:** He is being a grouch because we killed the thing.

**jazzfest:** That THING was a living person...fish...thing

**vampgrl:** How mad at me are you?

**tomanyvoices:** I can't believe you two killed a fish because of it's name.

**angelface:** Then you shouldn't ave named it Carl.

**Jazzfest:** I don't know who to agree with!

**angelface:** Agree with us Jasper Whitlock Hale!

**Jazzfest:** Yes ma'am.

**Jazzfest:** Emmett and you shouldn't have agreed with the name Carl! Jeez. How insensitve are you?

**vampgrl:** Are you SURE you're not gay?

**tomanyvoices:** Whatever.

**angelface:** Your just upset because Bella and I were right.

_tomanyvoices has signed off _

**jazzfest:** Cheer up Bella. Or I'll come and have a pillow fight with you!

**vampgrl:** Again, are you SUREEEE you're not gay?

**angelface:** OHHH! I want to join!

**vampgrl:** I need to make him love me...

**icdafuture:** I see a trip to the PETSHOP!

**angelface:** Get anything but a fish. And do NOT name it Carl. Or there will be problems.

**vampgrl: **What about a puppy named...JACOB

**Puppylove:** Nice joke...

**angelface:** I like it. And didn't you sign off?!

**Puppylove: **I forgot?

**vampgrl:** Will Edward like it?

**icdafuture:** Edward will...never mind. He'll love it.

**angelface:** Good. I am still trying to get over the Fish named Carl thing

_puppylove has signed off _

**vampgrl:** Edward hates me. :(

**angelface:** No he doesn't. You are overreacting. Tell him we are going to the pet store.

**vampgrl:** He really doesn't. He's no where to be seen.

**icdafuture:** He just...

_-crash is heard downstairs- _

**icdafuture: **broke the flatscreen...AGAIN

**angelface:** All over a fish named Carl?

**icdafuture:** He...loved the fish...

**vampgrl:** And I thought I was weird.

**angelface:** Wow...I guess it is time to get another fish for him. But we are not naming it Carl

**Jazzfest:** It was short for Carlisle...

**angelface:** How would Carlisle feel about having a FISH named after him

**icdafuture:** Ask him yourself.

_vampgod has signed on _

**vampgod: **Ask me what?

**icdafuture:** How would you feel having a fish named Carl...short for Carlisle.

**vampgod:** Carl? Well, I don't know. I am not to fond of the name Carl.

**vampgrl:** See Jazz. Even Carlisle doesn't like it! I'm glad we killed him...

**vampgod:** I will not even bother asking..

_vampgod has signed off _

**angelface:** HA! We told you so.

**vampgrl:** -runs into Rosalie's room and does an Irish jig-

**angelface:** -Joins Bella in Irish jig-

**icdafuture:** Edward's lost...

**angelface:** What do you mean?

**icdafuture:** He took the volvo and maxed out...

**vampgrl:** Uh oh.

**angelface:** All this over a fish?!

**icdafuture:** He's really upset...

**vampgrl:** He's going to get hurt!

**Jazzfest:** What part of INDESTRUCTABLE does she not understand?

**angelface:** I cannot believe he is acting like this over a fish. And I don't even think she knows the word.

**vampgrl:** Lets just go get the damn replacement fish and dog!

**angelface:** First we need to find Edward. Then we will get the animal and thing.

**vampgrl:** How are we supposed to FIND my husband?

**angelface:** Alice.

**icdafuture:** Maybe after i get some...

**angelface:** ALICE!

**icdafuture:** Whatttttttttt?!

**angelface:** Find Edward! So we can get the damn things!

**icdafuture:** He'll be back in an hour.

**angelface:** Fine. We will wait till them. But we are naming the fish Junior. So everybody wins.

**icdafuture:** Emmett's invisible and he's reading what we're typing...

**vampgrl:** Junior it is.

**angelface:** I thought he signed off? Whatever.

**Mr.Macho:** WE ARE GETTING A PUPPY TO?!

**vampgrl:** EDWARD is getting a puppy.

**Mr.Macho: **Will he like the puppy?

**vampgrl:** Alice said that he will...

**Mr.Macho:** Grrrrrrr.

**vampgrl:** why?

**Mr.Macho: **Because you two hurt me just as badly.

**angelface:** Just get me when we are all ready to leave.

_angelface has signed off _

**vampgrl:** Emmett, you were in love with a bloody fish!

**Mr.Macho:** You two killed it for stupid reasons!

**vampgrl:** And you kill innocent Grizzlies!

**Mr.Macho: **But Carl and I had a bond. And he had a name! I don't give grizzlies names

**vampgrl:** BECAUSE YOU'RE A MONSTER!

**icdafuture:** You name your food Bella?

**vampgrl:** Of course I do. Just yesterday, I ate Bambi the mountain lion!

**Mr.Macho:** :-O YOU ARE THE MONSTER!

**vampgrl: **I am no monster. I'm just pretty.

**icdafuture:** Okay, Rose...

**Mr.Macho:** She signed off Alice.

**Mr.Macho:** And Bella, you just sounded a hell of alot like Rose.

**vampgrl:** No I don't..

**icdafuture:** I was talking to Bella, retard.

**Mr.Macho:** Oh...well.. WEINERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

**icdafuture:** Stay off the weiners...and dongs. XD

**vampgrl**: IS EDDIE BACK YET?!

**Mr.Macho:** I don't know. Why don't you go look for him? And Alice, I will be WOOSHING those Weinasssssssssss

**icdafuture:** What the hell are you on?

**vampgrl:** HE CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!

**Mr.Macho:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOSHING WEINERSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**vampgrl:** Please tell me if hes close SOMEONE!

**Mr.Macho:** LALALALALALA next fish's name is Carlito!

**vampgrl:** Guess its better than Carl.

**Mr.Macho:** Edwards back! Time to go get new animals!

_Mr. Macho has signed off _

**vampgrl:** Not till we talk this out...

**icdafuture:** See ya in the car!

_icdafuture has signed off _

**vampgrl:** Guess we'll settle this in the car

_vampgrl signed off_


	18. Elbert & Carlito

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Eightteen - Elbert & Carlito

_vampgrl has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** BELLLLLLLLLLLLA!

**vampgrl:** Emmett.

**Mr.Macho:** I have a name for the puppy!

**vampgrl:** He's not your puppy!

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** We are not naming the damn dog Elbert!

**Mr.Macho:** COME ON!!

**vampgrl:** ELBERT?!

**Mr.Macho:** Yes! Elbert.

_angelface has signed on_

**angelface:** Atleast it isn't Carl.

**vampgrl:** Its not your damn dog, Emmett! Edward picks the name! He's his! Aww. He just come up to me and licked my nose.

**tomanyvoices:** I think we should name the dog Elbert.

**Mr.Macho:** WOOHOO! ELBERT!

**angelface:** What did you name the fish?

**vampgrl:** WHY ELBERT?!

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** Yay! What are we happy for?

**tomanyvoices:** Because that way we won't have to listen to Emmett secretly calling it Elbert.

**angelface:** Nobody answered my question!

**jazzfest:** ELBERT AND CARLITO! YAY!

**vampgrl:** I wouldn't hear him. You're the one with mind-reading powers dear.

**angelface:** CARLITO?!

_angelface has signed off_

**Mr.Macho: **WOOOOOO! ELBERT AND CARLITO!

**tomanyvoices:** Well not in his mind, love.

**vampgrl:** You named the fish Carlito? That's just as bad as CARL!

**Mr.Macho: **Why do you think Rose signed off? But there is nothing wrong with the names!

**tomanyvoices:** Yes. I named the fish Carlito. There is nothingwrong with it

**vampgrl:** Why would you name the fish Carlito?!

**tomanyvoices:** To make up for Carl.

**Mr.Macho:** WOOSH! ELBERT AND CARLITO!

**vampgrl: **Why would you name a fish CARL in the first place.

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Why do I see Rose eating a fish...

**Jazzfest:** CARLITO! I'LL SHAVE YOU! WOOSH!

**Mr.Macho:** I MUST STOP HER!

_Mr.Macho has gone away_

**icdafuture:** Wow.

**tomanyvoices:** Why are those two so strange over a fish?

**vampgrl:** Why did you name a fish CARLITO and a dog ELBERT? He's whining right now. He's upset!

**tomanyvoices:** Well. You said I could name them.

**vampgrl:** ELBERT AND CARLITO? You've been watching the olympics!

**tomanyvoices:** Be happy I didn't name the dog Fluffy or something.

**vampgrl:** That would have been cute!?

**icdafuture:** You shouldn't have told her that, Edward. She's going to call him Fluffy now.

**tomanyvoices:** His name is Elbert.

**vampgrl:** Fluffy.

**tomanyvoices:** Elbert.

**vampgrl:** Fluffy.

**tomanyvoices:** Elbert.

**vampgrl:** Fluffy.

**tomanyvoices:** Elbert!

**vampgrl:** Fluffy!!

**tomanyvoices:** Fluffy!

**vampgrl:** HA! gOTCHA!

**tomanyvoices:** Nobody said that. It was a random out of the blue word. ELBERT!

**vampgrl:** FLUFFY!!

**icdafuture:** How about a compromise?

**tomanyvoices:** Fine. The dogs middle name will be Fluffy.

**vampgrl:** Elbert Fluffy Cullen? No! Fluffy Elbert Cullen!

**tomanyvoices:** My dog! His name is ELbert Fluffy Cullen!

**vampgrl: **OUR DOG!

_Mr.Macho has returned from away_

**Mr.Macho:** Well. We couldn't save Carlito. And the dogs name is ELBERT!

**icdafuture:** Just agree on a name for the damn thing! Geez!

**vampgrl:** Edward, agree with me, or I'll...I'll...I'll show everyone that thing that you have hidden in the closet!

**tomanyvoices:** His name is Elbert.

**Mr.Macho:** ELBERT, ELBERT, ELBERT, ELBERT!

**vampgrl:** Alice, if you come in the room here, I'll show you Edward's footy pajamas that he wears at night.

**icdafuture:** This could get interesting...

**Jazzfest: **EDWARD WEARS FOOTY PAJAMAS?!

**tomanyvoices: **EVILLLLLLLLLL!

_tomanyvoices has gone away_

**Mr.Macho:** FOOTIE PAJAMAS?! I WANT TO SEE!

**vampgrl:** its what he gets.

**icdafuture:** They have little dinosaurs that say "rawr" on them!

**Mr.Macho:** Get a picture! It deserves to be on the internet.

_tomanyvoices has returned_

**tomanyvoices:** MEAN MEAN MEAN!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**vampgrl: **You would think that with his vocabulary, he would call me something other than 'MEAN'.

**Mr.Macho:** Haha. Well he is probably distracted by Elbert.

**vampgrl:** Nope. Fluffy is in here with me.

**Mr.Macho:** His name is Elbert.

**vampgrl:** If I tell Rose, your footie pajamas will be all over the internet too.

**icdafuture:** I'm sure Jessica would enjoy edward's pajamas.

**Mr.Macho:** I am proud of my footie pajamas

**icdafuture:** I'm not going to put these pictures on the myspace. Edward will be very upset.

**vampgrl:** Is he getting back online? i'll apologize...

**Mr.Macho:** I don't know. He is pacing back and forth and I keep hearing the name Elbert.

**vampgrl:** We'll name the damn thing Elbert then!

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices: **Yep. His name is Elbert.

**vampgrl:** Edward...

**icdafuture:** You're weak, Bella.

**tomanyvoices:** Yes Bella?

**Mr.Macho: **Elbertttttttttt!

**vampgrl:** I've very sorry that we were fighting over YOUR pet's name...

**icdafuture:** WEEEEEEAKKKKKKKKK

**Jazzfest:** You KILLED Carl the second.

**Mr.Macho:** I agree with Alice. If you didn't have vampire grace you would have shaky knees and probably fall over.

**tomanyvoices:** I am sorry to. But I am happy you agreed to name it Elbert.

**vampgrl:** Emmett, do you remember what happened to Jasper? You'll be next...

**icdafuture:** She only agreed because she wants you to love her and not hate her, she's still going to call him Fluffy when you aren't around.

**tomanyvoices:** As long as I am not around.

**Mr.Macho:** CARLITO IS DEAD?!

**Jazzfest:** Carlito is dead my brother. Your wife killed him.

**vampgrl:** Doesn't mean I wont' call him Fluffy when Emmett is around though! Hahahaha.

**Mr.Macho:** What is wrong in a world where a fish can't be named Carlito?

**tomanyvoices:** I am going to go play with Elbert.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**vampgrl:** I'm going to go play with Edward. -giggles-

_vampgrl has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** I can't believe your wife! Carlito was my friend! MY FRIEND!

**Mr.Macho:** I am right there with you my brotha. THEY KILLED OUR FRIEND! Murder!

**Jazzfest:** She's your wife!

**icdafuture:** its what you get for naming it little carl!

**Mr.Macho:** SHE KILLED HIM!

**icdafuture:** Its what you get for damning him liek that!

**Jazzfest:** Et tu Alice?

**Mr.Macho:** It was a perfectly fine name!

_icdafuture has signed off_

**Jazzfest:** They're just jealous we came up with such a great name!

**Mr.Macho:** They are! Elbert and Carlito! Perfect names!

**Jazzfest:** So was Carl!

**Mr.Macho:** What is wrong with the name Carl?!/

**Jazzfest: **Nothing! I loved his name! I loved Carl!

**Mr.Macho:** I did to! But apparently these people have a phobia for the name Carl!

**Jazzfest: **Ew. They really need to get their own house.

**Jazzfest:** They probably just hate that we're too cool.

**Mr.Macho: **We are to cool. We have amazing names but they can't appreciate it.

**Jazzfest: **How long do you think Elbert will last?

**Mr.Macho: **Hopefully long. He is a cute little fella, that shouldn't be killed. And his name WILL last. I will make sure of it.

**Jazzfest:** Want to get out of the house, because I know you hear them.

**Mr.Macho: **Yes. Lets take Elbert for a walk!

**Jazzfest:** He's still in their room. I'm not going in there!

**Mr.Macho:** I will run in, get the dog, and run out in 5 seconds flat.

**Jazzfest:** I feel bad if they realize that you're in there.

**Mr.Macho:** Who cares?! I want to play with Elbert! And I know you do to!

**Jazzfest:** Not at the expense of Edward and Bella ganging up on me.

**Mr.Macho: **They are to busy to gang up on you.

**Jazzfest:** Not if you walk int here!

**Mr.Macho: **But I am running in there.Fine. Lets just go hunting or somehing

**Jazzfest: **Good. Should we bring the Carl haters?

**Mr.Macho:** I guess so. They shouldn't listen to this. But I will call Alice, Carl Hater, and I am calling Rose, Carl Killer. Only cause it fits.

**Jazzfest:** Okay. Lets invited the killer and hater.

**Mr.Macho:** Fine by me.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

_Jazzfest has signed off_


	19. Neopets You've Got To Be Joking!

**We had tons of fun writing this chapter. I have no clue what we were thinking. Sorry it took so long to get it up. I'm in classes and junk, so I haven't had much time to bold and italics stuff. Sorry. I hope you enjoy our next installment of OTCC.**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Nineteen - Neopets ... You've Got To Be Friggin' Kidding Me!

_icdafuture has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** BELLA!

**icdafuture:** Bella's not on. I was looking for her myself.

**Mr.Macho:** Then who the helllllllllll is this?

**icdafuture:** Your sister!

**Mr.Macho:** Oh damn! Find Bella! I have this awesome website I want to get her hooked on

**icdafuture:** Think about it hard enough and then Edward will get her online.

**Mr.Macho:** No! Alice do YOU want to hear about the awesome website I found?

**icdafuture:** Uhm...

_Jazzfest has signed on_

**Jazzfest:** Emmett, I hate you for getting me hooked on this site!

**Mr.Macho:** I told you it is awesome!

**icdafuture: **Addicting website? Do I want to know?

**Mr.Macho:** NEOPETS!

**Jazzfest:** I joined a guild! Its awesome! Did you see my pet? And my petpet? And my petpetpet?

**icdafuture:** What the hell?!

**Mr.Macho:** Dude, Jazz. I am working my way to a Secret Lab Map. Or gain all the codestones. Lets compete for high scores!

**icdafuture:** Don't tell me that this is why you want Bella on...

**Mr.Macho:** She would like it!

_vampgrl has signed on_

**vampgrl:** -sigh- Edward said you wanted me on.

**Mr.Macho:** Yes! I have this amazing site that you should join! Jazz and I are having a blast on it!

**Jazzfest:** Go here:

**icdafuture:** I must warn the husband and other wife. -sigh-

**Mr.Macho:** Do it Bella! We are competing for high scores

**vampgrl:** I have to sign up for this crap?

**Mr.Macho:** Yes. But it is free. Come on! SIGN UP ALREADY!

**vampgrl:** What the hell?!

**Mr.Macho:** What?!

**vampgrl:** I don't know what kinda pet I want.!

**Mr.Macho:** Get the one you like the best!

**vampgrl:** Aisha, Kougra, or Nimmo?

**Mr.Macho:** Kougra

**Jazzfest:** I'm going to play Ice Cream Machine.

**Mr.Macho:** No dude! Play Meerca Chase 2!

**vampgrl:** I will! Hopefully Edward won't come in here. He's been very...feely.

**Mr.Macho:** Don't lose your concentration! We are playing for high scores!

**vampgrl:** I'm just saying htat I hope he doesn't sign on.

**Mr.Macho:** I won't let him

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** To late.

**vampgrl:** Luckily he's not int he room.

**tomanyvoices:** Now, Alice told me I should watch out. What shoud I watch out for..exactly?

**Mr.Macho:** Nothing. Now shut up Edward!

**Jazzfest:** You're throwing off my groooooove!

**vampgrl:** Nothing baby. Nothing at all. -hides the screen-

**Mr.Macho:** DAMMIT EDWARD! We are playing a game!

**tomanyvoices:** What are you guys doing?

**Jazzfest:** I lost. :

**vampgrl:** I didn't! C'mon Emmett, I'll kick your ass!

**Mr.Macho: **You are on little sister!

**tomanyvoices:** Bella, I am coming over to see what you are up to.

**vampgrl:** NOOOOOO!

**Jazzfest:** Bella should run around with the laptop and keep playing.

**Mr.Macho:** EDWARD DO NOT TOUCH BELLA!

**tomanyvoices:** Whatever... -walks over to Bella-

**vampgrl:** -runs away-

**Mr.Mahco:** BELLA! Run as fast as you can!

_-Edward walks over to Bella and strokes her cheek-_

_-Bella growls at Edward and runs away-_

**vampgrl:** HE TOUCHED ME!

**Mr.Macho:** WHAT! DID HE THROW OFF YOUR GROOVE!?

**tomanyvoices:** I'm curious. -starts to kiss Bella-

**vampgrl:** Dammit! I lost. :

**Jazzfest:** Emmett wins!

**Mr.Macho:** WOOHOOO! Next game! Destruct -o- Match

**tomanyvoices:** This is going to be fun -mischevious grin-

**Jazzfest:** I, II, or III?

**vampgrl:** Don't you dare, Edward! I'll beat you into a tree!

**Mr.Macho:** III, and what is he doing?!

**vampgrl: **Kissing. My. Neck. Concentration. Leaving. RAWR!

**Mr.Macho: **Kick him in the shin. That would get you away from him for some time.

**tomanyvoices:** Don't think about it.

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** DO IT!

**vampgrl: **Uhm...

**Jazzfest:** Ew. Stop doing htat Edward! I know that you're reading this!

**Mr.Macho: **What is he doing?

**vampgrl: **I'm trying to seduce her. this is Edward by the way.

**Jazzfest:** Put my sister back on!

**Mr.Macho:** Edward! Stop it!

**vampgrl:** I bit him. I'm back. He made me lose though.

**Mr.Macho: **Then we play a new game. Spell or Starve

**Jazzfest:** I'm not done yet! I'm kicking ass!

**Mr.Macho: **Fine. I am still playing to. And I will kick your ass in this game and put you to shame.

**Jazzfest:** Not likely, oh brother of mine.

**vampgrl:** What's this guild thing that you're in Jazz?

**Mr.Macho:** Hold on Bella! We are neck and neck in this game

**vampgrl:** Neck and neck. You mean like Edward is lip to neck with me? Yeah, this isn't going to work. I'm about to kick him out of here.

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Is Edward on?

**Mr.Macho:** No he is not. Bella kick him out! These are very important matters!

**icdafuture:** oh. I don't see that happening anytime soon.

**vampgrl:** Ha. Stole it back from Bella.

**icdafuture: **Where are you?

**Mr.Macho:** Edward! Give Bella back her computer. I need to ask her a question

**vampgrl:** We're laying in bed.

**icdafuture:** Are you...planning what I think you're planning?

**Jazzfest:** Shut up and give Bella back the computer!

**Mr.Macho:** Now Edward!

**vampgrl:** No! Yes, Alice. I am.

**icdafuture: **Then you MIGHT want to give Bella the computer back.

**vampgrl:** Dammit! What do you need to ask me, Em?

**Mr.Macho:** What is your highest score?!

**vampgrl:** Uhm...let me go check. which game?

**Mr.Macho: **ANy game

**vampgrl:** I'll look really quick.

**Mr.Macho:** Well hurrrrrrrrrrrrry

**vampgrl:** I am!

**Jazzfest:** ARen't you going to ask mine?

**Mr.Macho:** I am sorry Jasper. What is your high score budy boy?

**Jazzfest:** I don't know. What's yours?

**Mr.Macho:** I got 1,500 Neopoints in Destruct -o- Match III

**vampgrl:** I got 2,255,680 on The Return of the Return of Dr.Sloth!

**Mr.Macho:** HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!

**vampgrl:** I don't know!

**vampgrl:** try to beat me!

**Mr.Mahco:** Oh. You are on sister.

**vampgrl:** Really?

**Jazzfest:** I got 7070 on Ice Cream Machine.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. I declare a bet.

**vampgrl:** And that would be?

**Mr.Macho:** The person who loses all the games we play has to walk around with a crown and a sash saying "I failed on Neopets" got it?

**vampgrl:** All of us?

**Mr.Macho:** Well you, Jazz and myself

**vampgrl:** Two people will lose dumb dumb.

**Mr.Macho:** Fine. Once we all lose atleast 3 games, we will pick names out of a hat

**vampgrl:** We pick 4 games each!

**Mr.Macho:** Okay, but Jasper gets to pick first cause he has been oh so quiet

**Jazzfest:** Snowmuncher!

**Mr.Macho:** That one is so easy! But okay. We will give it a go.

**icdafuture:** I see Jasper losing!

**Mr.Macho:** Stop predicting right now!

**icdafuture:** Why!

**Mr.Macho:** You can tell him when he loses.

**icdafuture:** You suck!

**Jazzfest:** i got 924.

**Mr.Macho:** HA! I got 2576

**vampgrl:** You're lucky! I got 2,184.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. Bella. You choose the next game

**vampgrl:** Its only because I took the computer from her again. She says Snowball Fight.

**Mr.Macho:** Edward! Stop

**vampgrl:** No!

**Mr.Macho:** NOW

**vampgrl:** On one condition!

**icdafuture:** Ha!

**Mr.Macho:** WHAT

**vampgrl:** I get my wife back!

**Mr.Macho:** AFTER we are done.

**vampgrl:** Fine!

**icdafuture:** He's not giving up that easily...

**Mr.Macho:** Edward. What are you planning.

**vampgrl:** He's not on anymore. He left the room...

**Mr.Macho:** Okay good. Back to Snowball Fight.

**Jazzfest: **My computer frozeeeeeeeeee!

**vampgrl:** Sounds like Jazzy is a sore loseeeeeeer

**Mr.Macho:** Sounds like ittttt. Do we have a loser for this gameee? I think we dooooooooo

**vampgrl:** I think we should change it to whoever loses three games first.

**Mr.macho:** I like that idea little sis.

**Mr.Macho:** And Jazzy, you just lost 2 games. I am thinking about a tutu in the bet as well.

**vampgrl:** Oh yeah. A purple one with glitter.

**Mr.Macho:** Should we get him a wand also? One with a little star at the top

**vampgrl:** And he can wear his pink cape, too.

**Mr.Macho:** Nahh. I was thinking wings

**vampgrl:** And then we could take a picture. I lost. 305 points. Your pick next.

**icdafuture:** Uhm...Edward...

**Mr.Macho:** He isn't here Alice. And I pick the game...Turmac Roll

**vampgrl:** I loooooooooooooove that game!

**Mr.Macho:** I do to. I have my highet score in it. Jazzy. Oh Jazzy woo-woo are you still there?

**Jazzfest:** I love it too. Yay!

**Mr.Macho:** You just lost all your masculinity because you said "Yay!"

**vampgrl:** Like he had any before.

**Jazzfest:** I'm not GAY!

**Mr.Macho:** You know what rhymes with gay, Jasper?

**Jazzfest:** No. What?

**Mr.Macho:** YAY! And you said it, now play the game!

**vampgrl:** Stop rhyming idiot. Bella got her score.

**Mr.Macho:** What was her score?

**vampgrl:** She got a score of 665.

**Mr.Macho:** heeheehee, My score was 763

**vampgrl:** You suck. Jasper?

**icdafuture:** Pictures are going to go on myspace!

**Mr.Macho:** Bella! Let us cherish this moment!

**vampgrl:** Bella isn't here anymore. She is currently laying down.

**icdafuture:** You're gross!

**Mr.Macho:** DUDE! Go away!

**vampgrl:** Can't man.

**Jazzfest:** Good-bye.

_Jazzfest has signed off_

**icdafuture:** I need to plan a party..

**Mr.Macho:** What do you need to plan a party for? Jazz's fairy princess outfit?

**icdafuture:** No. Not going to tell you. Its all up to Rebecca htough. Lil needs to talk to her about it. xD

**vampgrl:** I'm sorry that Edward took the ocmputer.

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Hey All! What is up to me?

**vampgrl:** DEMON FRIEND!

**icdafuture: **Didn't see that one coming.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I like the nickname.

**Mr.Macho:** REBECCAAAAAAA

**vampgrl:** Edward says "LEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Tell Edward "NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

**Mr.macho:** So. Whats been up

**vampgrl:** He's kinda..busy, but when he's done...I'll tell him to get on.

**icdafuture:** Yeah.

**Mr.Macho:** I love how this entire chat room is like DEVOTED to sex talk now!

**ARTICHOKIEE: **HAHAHAHA.

**vampgrl:** All except for you and Rose. Where is Rose?

**icdafuture:** I GOT THE PICTURES OF JAZZZZZZZ!

**ARTICHOKIEE: **Send them to me Alice!

**Mr.Macho:** She is working on someone's car

**vampgrl:** Someone wouldn't happen to be the other demon...Since I see that she's not actually on..which is weird.

**icdafuture:** Theyre on myspace!!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Haha, I think she might get on later...cause we have to talk to Alice about something

**icdafuture:** Me?

**vampgrl:** Be right back. Edward...nevermind

**Mr.Macho:** I am gonna go help Rose. Bye All!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Bye Emmett!

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Okay. So what party, Alice?

**icdafuture:** Lil was thinking about throwing a party for one of your friends or something. Said it was supposed to be a surprise or something.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** OH YEAH! I remember now!

**icdafuture:** Yeah. Wait! She said something to you about t?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah. We were talking about it the other day

**icdafuture:** Oh! Well, damn. XD Are you going to do it?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Uhm, I think so. But I am not entirely sure. But I think we should do it

**icdafuture:** Woohoo! I get to plan a party. SHOPPING!!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I will go shopping with you! I am in desperate need of a mall at the moment.

**icdafuture:** OME! Really?

**vampgrl:** Back, and Edward says "don't say OME!"

**ARTICHOKIEE:** OME, really.

**vampgrl:** Don't start with me Demon! I'll leave this nice comfy bed to get on the computer and get on my screen name to yell at you.

**icdafuture:** -yawns- You are all talk Edward. You know you won't leave Bella. Anyways, Shopping with a demon!! Do you think the...Lil would want to come? Or should I wait to talk to her?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** She will come. I will force her. And Edwrd, you know you love me!

**icdafuture:** Yay! Shopping with MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY demons!

**vampgrl:** He's upset.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Let him be upset. And Alice! When should we go? Right away, or tomorrow?

**icdafuture:** Well, lets wait to see...

_squirtgrl has signed on_

**squirtgrl:** OME. I am soooo pissed off right now. this guy, mark, he totally just told methat he couldn't date me, because I wore Hollister! WTF!?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** He needs to get a life. I mean, who cares if you wear Hollister? Asshole.

**icdafuture: **Sounds like you need to go shopping!

**squirtgrl: **I know right! Seriously though, I mean. What is wrong with what I wear?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Nothing is wrong with what you wear. He is just an asshole.

**squirtgrl:** Oh! I forgot that others were in this chatroom. Hey Alice. Hey Bella. I do want to go shopping actually.

**vampgrl:** Hi demon.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I think Edward is on Bella's screen name.

**squirtgrl:** OME! EDWARD'S HERE?!

**vampgrl:** Bella is putting her clothes on.

**squirtgrl:** -gasp- when did youuuuuu lose your virginity?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** -shakes head- Lil, they already lost their virginity. Like...last month. Remember? BITE ME.

**vampgrl:** Don't start that again!

**vampgrl:** -takes computer back from Edward- Was not. It was like last week.

**squirtgrl:** Ohh yeah! Where is my best friend at? he's not on right now?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** He is helping Rosalie with cars. Hey Edward!

**vampgrl:** -steals computer back from Bella- Hi demon. Whoa. deja vu.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah yeah yeah. BITE ME!

**vampgrl:** Dammit! I'll rip you to shreds! Be right back, I'm going to get on my screen name. I keep think I'm talking to Bella for some reason.

**icdafuture:** When are we shoppppppppppping? -bounces around uncontrolably-

**ARTICHOKIEE:** It doesn't matter to meeeeeeeeee

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** DEMON!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** BITE ME

**squirtgrl:** Soon! Please!!

**vampgrl:** Baby...be nice to the girls. Please.

**tomanyvoices:** WHAT?! The one keeps saying Bite me!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah. I wanna get out of the house soon

**squirtgrl:** So, you can hate her, but not me, because I'm not being mean or whatever!

**vampgrl:** Come on!!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** All I said was bite me.

**tomanyvoices:** Stop saying that!

**vampgrl:** He's sensitive when it comes to the words "Bite Me!" Aren't you honey?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes I am.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Hmmm. In that case...

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** BITE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**squirtgrl:** EMMETTTTTTTTTT! You leave Rose yet? -giggles-

**vampgrl:** Hehehe. Yeah, Edward. Bite meeeeeeeee. XD

**tomanyvoices:** Stop it all of you!

**Mr.Macho: **BITE ME!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** BITE MEEEEEEEEEEEE

**squirtgrl:** Edward, make Emmett answer me. -frowns-

**Mr.Macho:** Hi Lil! And no. I did not leave Rose.

**squirtgrl:** Whyyyy not? You know I'm much much much better than her.

**icdafuture:** What happened to you being pissed off because of Mark?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Seriously Lil xD

**Mr.Macho:** NOOOOOOOOOOO

**squirtgrl:** Sorry. So, who wants to bite a human and drain their blood for me?

**vampgrl:** Me!

**vampgrl:** -looks around the room- I mean...

**tomanyvoices:** Not you Bella. None of us.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Ohh. Edward's getting a little hostile.

**vampgrl:** Not me! I'm a vegitarian! I only eat deer and junk. Not humans. Nope, never tasted human blood in my life...

**icdafuture:** You're acting funny, Bella.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **BELLA IS HIDING SOME-A-TIN!

**squirtgrl:** Who'd you drain?! -sits up laughing-

**ARTICHOKIEE:** hahahah it was probably Newton.

**tomanyvoices:** It isn't funny you two.

**squirtgrl: **God, what I wouldn't give for Newton to be gone. He annoys me. -laughing to the point of tears-

**Mr.Macho:** heehee...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Bite me, Edward

**vampgrl:** Uhm...I was walking...alone...the other day...when we were getting the puppy. Well, remember when I went to Ambercrombie and didn't come back with anything and you asked why my eyes were red and I said lack of sleep?

**Mr.Macho:** WHAT DID YOU DO TO ELBERT!

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett. Shut up.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Alice call me about the shopping!

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

**vampgrl:** Nohting happened to Elbert idiot! Elbert is with Jazz. Well, there was this guy, who kept eyeing me. It was driving me crazy. He didn't smell appitizing at all, but I decided that if there was anyway to get him to stop looking at me, that would be it. So I sat down at the table and flirted a little bit. He didn't even notice the ring on my finger! Well, he followed me outside in the little alley thing and yeah...

**icdafuture:** ISABELLA CULLEN!

**tomanyvoices:** ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

**Mr.Macho:** I think I hear Elbert crying...

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**vampgrl:** I love you?

**squirtgrl:** BELLA IS IN TROUBLE! BELLA IS IN TROUBLE!

**tomanyvoices:** I can't believe you killed a human!

**vampgrl:** He was eyeing me! It was driving me crazy!

**icdafuture:** Isabella Cullen, we should kick you out of the family!

**tomanyvoices:** Alice. You are being irrational. We just need to take her hunting.

**squirtgrl:** I'm calling Rebecca and then we'll three-way you alice.

**icdafuture:** BUT! I'm going shopppppppping. You and everyone ELSE should go huntingggg!

_mamabear has signed on_

_squirtgrl has signed off_

**mamabear:** Hello family.

**tomanyvoices:** Hi Esme.

**mamabear:** What did I miss?

**mamabear:** I've been out all day.

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett got Bella hooked on Neopets, they competed for high scores, Jasper had to dress up as a fairy princess, The demons showed up and now Alice is going shopping with them and Bella killed a human!

**vampgrl:** NEOPETS TIME!!

**mamabear:** BELLA KILLED A HUMAN?! No neopets!

**icdafuture:** Should we tell Carlisle?

**tomanyvoices:** Too late, Esme. Bella is hooked and you can't pry her away.

**icdafuture:** Yeah. Stupid Emmett started her on it today. Jasper is hooked too. I'm mad at both of them. Jasper has been on for like 3 days! The last time he was out was when we went hunting the day we got Elbert and Carlito...and Carlito died. XD

**mamabear:** Elbert and Carlito?

**tomanyvoices:** Carlito died?!

**icdafuture:** Yup! Rose ate him, I think.

**tomanyvoices:** Oh my god. That is just sick

**icdafuture:** I think its because it the name had "Carl" in it. Did you know that Carlito means "Little Carl"?

**tomanyvoices:** Yeah. That is why we named him it. Because you killed Carl!

**icdafuture:** I didn't kill Carl! That was Bella and Rose.

**vampgrl:** I'm thirsty. Oooo. Fluffy. -licks lips-

**mamabear: **Whos is fluffy, Carlito, Carl, and Elbert?

**icdafuture:** Well...edward bought Carl, the fish, for Bella, but her and Rose got pissed off about the name. I don't blaim them. Carl is such a stupid name! anyways, Bella felt bad and decided to go and get a puppy and replacement fish. The replacement fish was named Carlito, but Rose ate him. Elbert and Fluffy are the same animal. He's a puppy. Elbert is what we're supposed to call him when Edward and the guys aren't around.

**tomanyvoices:** Yeah. But they killed Carl and Carlito!

**vampgrl:** I'm glad nobody noticed what I said. XD

**mamabear:** There is a puppy? In my house?!

**tomanyvoices:** And Bella you are NOT eating Elbert. And yes. There is a puppy in your house.

**vampgrl:** Not even a little taste?

**icdafutrue:** Feeding Frenzy!

**mamabear:** Why is there a puppy in my house/

**tomanyoices:** Cause they killed Carl and Carlito. And do NOT eat Elbert. Alice. Don't you have a shopping trip to get to?

**icdafuture:** Not yet. I'm leaving in five minutes. I wasn't going to eat him. I was saying htat Bella is on a feeding frenzy.

**vampgrl:** I didn't kill Carlito!

**tomanyvoices:** You were a contributer.

**vampgrl:** I liked Carlito.

**mamabear:** The dog, has to go.

**tomanyvoices:** Why does the dog have to go?

**mamabear:** does Carlisle know that you have a dog in my house?

**tomanyvoices:** Nooooooo

**mamabear:** I don't want to see his reaction when he finds out...

**tomanyvoices:** It will be fineeeee

**mamabear:** Don't be too sure of that, son.

**tomanyvoices:** And why not?

**icdafuture:** Be back later. I'm going shopping! Yay!!

**vampgrl:** Dammit! Why won't this let me join Jasper's guild!

**mamabear:** He was alergic to dogs when he was human...

**tomanyvoices:** Well. he is a vampire now. He will have to get over it. And what are you talking about, Bella?

**vampgrl: **neopets! Where is Emmett? I want to ask him a question about this stupid site.

_icdafuture has signed off_

**mamabear:** someone is going to get thristy one day and the dog is going to get it.

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** Somebody was in need of my services?

**tomanyvoices:** Here we go again.

**vampgrl:** Okay, So why can't I join this guild that Jasper is apart of? It looks amazing!

**Mr.Macho:** Did you press the 'Join Guild' button?

**vampgrl:** Yes!

**tomanyvoices:** I can see where this is going.

**tomanyvoices has signed off**

**mamabear has signed off**

**Mr.Macho:** Okay. After you pressed 'Join Guild' in that same spot does it say "Leave Guild"?

**vampgrl:** No. It has like a warning or something. I don't get it.

**Mr.Macho:** Strange...Do you need to be invited or soemthing?

**vampgrl:** Something about activating the account!

**Mr.Macho:** OHH. You need to go to your e-mail and get the activation code

**vampgrl:** Are you serious?! Taht's so lame!

**Mr.Macho:** I know. But I don't make the rules.

**vampgrl:** I don't want to sign onto my email! Grrr. Up for another challenge?

**vampgrl:** Grr. You left me!

**Mr.Macho:** Sorry I was reading something. And of course I am up for another challenge.

**vampgrl:** You can read?

**Mr.Macho:** It was a neomail (:

**vampgrl:** Oh. Okay. I was going to say. Haha. WAit, what is a neomail? I feel like such a n00b.

**Mr.Macho:** Poor poor Bella. It is because you are a n00b. sorry to tell you. And people can neomail eachother on neopets! Here I will send you one right now!

**vampgrl:** Okay. My user is edwardcullenismyhusband

**Mr.Macho:** Damn. Can it be any longer? And mine is Grizzlayyy

**vampgrl:** Okay, explain how I'm supposed to read this "neomail" How do I know when I get it? Seriously?

**Mr.Macho:** It shows up at the top and you just click the little envelope thingy

**vampgrl:** I think that later, I'll bring my laptop to you and you can show me. Edward wants me to come and cuddle with him...

**Mr.Macho:** Then come and show me your problems. And get away from the Neo-Hater!

**vampgrl:** I'm not leaving my husband!

**Mr.Macho:** HE IS A NEO-HATERRRRRRRRRR. And Mayne, we can' have dat all up in our grill. kno; wha i be sayin?

**vampgrl:** I know he's a neo-hater, but I love him..

**Mr.Macho:** Come here so I can show you how to work neopets

**vampgrl:** Dammit! I want to cuddle withmy husband first!

**Mr.macho:** Fine! Cuddle with your husband! I will just stand outside your door talking about Carl and Carlito!

**vampgrl:** Go play with Fluffy or something.

**Mr.Macho:** His name is Elbert.

**vampgrl:** At least youw ren't on when the story about the guy was told. XD

**vampgrl:** FLUFFY!

**Mr.Macho:** ELBERT!

**vampgrl:** Fluffy! Why did I just start listening to Kanye West?

**Mr.Macho: **I don't know. But I am gonna go play with ELBERT!

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

_vampgrl has signed off_


	20. What About My Momma?

**Hey guys. P This chapter makes us crack up whenever I read it. I've read it like 5 times since I fixed it. That's really bad! Its not as long as usual though. Anyways, we hope that you enjoy the chapter.**

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Twenty - What About My Momma?

_jazzfest has signed on_

_Mr.Macho has signed on_

**Mr.Macho:** Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.

**jazzfest:** WTF? You don't even know my momma!

**Mr.Macho:** I CALL FOR A YOMOMMA COMPETITION!

**jazzfest:** Wait for someone else to get on...like Bella or Edward. I would get a kick out of Edward doing yo momma jokes.

**Mr.Macho:** Then lets get the lovers on here!

**Mr.Macho:** Yo go get Alice, I will get Rose.

**jazzfest: **Okay. Give me a minute to find her. I think she's in the kitchen. I'll tell Bella when I see her.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay.

_angelface has signed on_

**angelface:** Whats up?

**Mr.Macho:** YO MOMMA JOKES COMPETITION!

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Why am I on here? I should be planning a party, geez!

**jazzfest:** If yo Momma n Poppa got a divorce, heck, they'd still be Brother and Sister!

Mr.Macho: Yo momma so poor she went to McDonalds and put a milkshake on layaway.

**jazzfest:** HAHAHA. Nice one my brotha.

**icdafuture:** Uhm.. Your mom's so stupid she bought snickers when you asked for a butterfinger...

**angelface:** Yo momma so poor, when i saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving."

_vampgrl has signed on_

**vampgrl:** I'm bored with edward. What's going on familia?

**jazzfest:** Yo momma has a major weight problem - she can't wait...to eat.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma so old, when she was in school there was no history class!

_tomanyvoices has signed on_

**tomanyvoices:** What

**vampgrl: **yo momma got so much dandruff that a Midgie landed on her head and said: "Christ, I aint' seen this much snow in years."

**vampgrl:** Oh. Hey baby!

**angelface:** Yo momma so short, she gotta slam-dunk her bus fare.

**tomanyvoices:** Hello, love.

**vampgrl:** Edward. Yo momma got a glass eye with a fish in it.

**tomanyvoices:** What is going on in here?

**Mr.Macho:** YO MOMMA SO STUPID, SHE TRIED TO ALPHABETIZE M&M's!

**jazzfest:** yo momma got so much hair on her chest that her Breasts remind me of Coconuts...

**icdafuture:** You've seen my Renee's breasts?

**Mr.Macho:** WHOA DAMN!

**angelface: **Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

**vampgrl:** Hahahaha. That was great Rose!

**jazzfest:** Did she just...agree with something that Rose said?

**icdafuture: **yo momma has 10 fingers -- all on the same hand.

**Mr.macho:** Yo momma so lazy she came in last place in the recent snail race.

**tomanyvoices:** I believe she did, Jasper.

**jazzfest:** why haven't YOU used a yo momma joke Ed?

**vampgrl:** yo momma has a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns.

**tomanyvoices:** Yo momma so dumb, her brain cells are on the endangered species list.

**vampgrl:** Why are we doing this anyways?

**icdafuture:** yo momma so smelly her poo is glad to escape.

**Mr.Macho:** hahahah, nice one Alice.

angelface: Yo momma so dumb, when she drove past the YMCA she said "Hey Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"

**jazzfest:** You would use that one Rose...

**angelface:** Shut up Jasper.

**tomanyvoices:** Yo momma so old, she recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch

**jazzfest:** Make me. -sticks tongue out-

**vampgrl:** yo momma so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to use as chemical weapons.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma's teeth smell so bad, when she yawns, her teeth duck

**jazzfest:** yo momma so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid.

**tomanyvoices:** Yo momma's butt is so boney, when she put on underwear and cut them in two

_mamabear has signed on_

**vampgrl:** I got notin bad to say about Yo Momma - heck, her face says it all...

_mamabear has signed off_

**tomanyvoices:** hahaha, nice one love.

**angelface:** Yo momma's feet so big, she helps Smoky the Bear stomp ou forest fires.

_mamabear has signed on_

**vampgrl:** You liked that mama joke didn't ya? Good?...well, nowhere near as good as Yo Mama was last night

_mamabear has signed off_

**vampgrl:** I think, that she might be offended.

**tomanyvoices:** She is just worried for all of our sanity. She thinks we have been inside to long,

**vampgrl: **Oh Well! This is fun!

**icdafuture: **But, hey, if I wanted a comeback, christ, I'd just wipe it off Yo Mamma's chin...

**Mr.Macho: **Yo momma's forehead is so big you can show slides on it.

**jazzfest: **Ew! That's gross Alice!

**icdafuture: **I see Carlisle punishing us... -gasp-

**vampgrl: **Yo Mama like a television - even a 2 year old can turn her on!

**angelface:** Yo momma so grouchy, not even the McDonalds she works at sells Happy Meal's!

**icdafuture:** I don't get it...

**jazzfest:** Yo Dog so short it's best friend is an Ant.

**Mr.Macho:** YO MOMMA JOKES ONLY JASPER!

**jazzfest:** Oh well. Its still funny.

**tomanyvoices: **Yo momma's twice the man you are.

**vampgrl:** The first line in the Bible was mistranslated - it actually reads - 'In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth and yo' fat ugly Mama'

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma sets of car alarms when she runs.

**jazzfest:** I's apologise for talkin bout Yo Mama...I should know better...hell, I don't even know the Man...

**angelface:** Yo momma so bald not even a wig would help.

**icdafuture:** I see no fun in this...

**vampgrl: **Spoil sport!

**vampgrl:** No seriously, under all that hair yo Mama is really a Saint...a saint Bernard!

**tomanyvoices:** Yo momma so big, she uses busses as rollerskates.

**vampgrl:** Yo mama should be locked away, cos every time she moons people they turn into werewolves

**Mr.Macho:** You think the dog would like that joke?

**icdafuture:** I don't know. Lets ask him!

**vampgrl:** I'll call him right now Alice!

**jazzfest:** Yo'momma so ugly she actually is very good at her job: Being a scarecrow.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma so bald, Mr.Clean is jealous.

**jazzfest:** yo momma like a hardware store - only 10 cents a screw.

_puppylove has signed on_

**puppylove:** REBECCCCCCCCCCCCCCA BABYYYYYYYYY!

**Mr.Macho:** Sorry mutt. She's not here.

**puppylove:** Why'd you lie to me, Bella?

**vampgrl:** I have a joke I want you to hear...

**puppylove:** And you couldn't tell me on the phone?

**vampgrl: **Nope.

**angelface:** Tell him already!

**vampgrl:** Yo mama should be locked away, cos every time she moons people they turn into werewolves.

**puppylove:** ISABELLA SWAN! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY MOM! WHAT THE HELL?! YOU KNOW MY MOM IS DEAD!

**Mr.Macho:** Hahahaha, burrrrrrrrrrn.

**puppylove has signed off**

**icdafuture: **That was funny. -shrugs- Are we doneeeee yet?

**jazzfest:** Yo momma like a door knob - cos everybody gets a turn!

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma so fat, she got a 747 stuck in her teeth.

**vampgrl:** yo momma LIKE a 747 - a 3 man cock pit!

**tomanyvoices:** Oh Yeah? Yo momma so fat, on a scale to 1 to 10 she is a 747

**jazzfest:** Wow. lets stop with the 747 jokes. It was cute the first time...funny the second time...and annoying the third time.

**icdafuture: **yo momma like McDonalds ... Billions and Billions served...

**angelface:** Yo momma so greasy, her frekles slipped off.

**Mr.Macho: **Jazz, did you say cute?

**jazzfest:** noooooooo -looks around-

**vampgrl:** yo momma so poor burglars break into her home and LEAVE money.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma so nasty, she bit a dog and gave it rabies.

**jazzfest: **yo momma so poor she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

**tomanyvoices:** I think I am just going to watch now,

**Mr.Macho: **Yo momma so short, she did a suicide jump off a curb.

**vampgrl:** Why baby? -frowns-

**icdafuture:** yo momma so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

**Mr.Macho: **Yo momma's like a pirate, there she blows.

**vampgrl:** Yo mama so fat when she sit down we have to add another country to the map.

**angelface:** Yo momma's so ugle, kids dress up as her for Halloween

**icdafuture:** Rose, aren't you getting tired?

**jazzfest:** Stop trying to coax everyone out of this contest!

**vampgrl: **Yo mamas so hairy wen u were born u almost died of rugburn.

**angelface:** Sorry Alice dear, I am a vampire I never get tired.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma's teeth are so rotten, it looks like her tongue is in jail.

**jazzfest:** Yo mama such a dirty whore that they're having to paternity test the whole state of Texas just to find out who yo daddy is!

**tomanyvoices:** So Alice.

**icdafuture:** yes, Edward?

**vampgrl:** Yo mama so poor that when i stepped on a cigarette she cried, hey, who turned off the heater.

**tomanyvoices:** I have a question about the competition.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma so poor, when I asked her if I oculd use the bathroom she said "Sure, it is the 4th tree to your left"

**icdafuture:** Ask away, dear brother.

vampgrl: This is a fact. Yo momma's breath is whack, she needs not a tic, not a tac, but the whole damn pack!

**tomanyvoices:** Who wins?

**Mr.Macho: **Yo momma so cheap, when she saw a penny on the ground, she said she won the lottery

**angelface:** I'm out! I can't think of anything.

**jazzfest: **me too.

**vampgrl:** I'm not giving up that easily!

**vampgrl: **Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for 1st degree murder.

**tomanyvoices:** Alice, you are avoiding the question.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma so ugly, when she was born, the doctor looked at her ass then her face and said "Twins."

**icdafuture:** Whenever you say stop. I know that you're keeping track.

**vampgrl:** Yo mama so0o0o fat, one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling, "Hey, the School Bus is here!"

**tomanyvoices:** Fine.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma's teeth so big, she bit down on a piece of gum and cut her own toenails

**vampgrl:** Yo momma so dumb she brought a spoon to the superbowl.

**Mr.Macho:** Yo momma so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled to the crew "Land ho!

**vampgrl:** Yo mama so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.

**jazzfest:** There weren't really shoot outs in th 1930s, Bella.

**Mr.Macho:** Okay! I think it is time to know who the MASTER -points to self- is of 'Yo momma jokes'

**icdafuture:** Well, Edward and I have been talking about this in another window...

**tomanyvoices:** And we think the title should go to...

**icdafuture:** Emmett...

**vampgrl:** DAMMIT!

**Mr.Macho:** WOOHOOOO!

**tomanyvoices:** And Bella

**jazzfest:** Ha! A tie...

**vampgrl:** No fair! I demand a recount!

**Mr.Macho:** I am okay with it. I do have something I want to shout though...

**tomanyvoices: **Sorry Bella.

**Mr.Macho:** BITCH I'M THE BOMB LIKE TICK, TICK

**vampgrl:** BIOTCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**jazzfest:** they were planning that all along weren't they?

**Mr.Macho:** Pretty much. HEY BELLA!

**vampgrl:** YEAH? HEY EMMETT!

**jazzfest:** I dispise you all.

**Mr.Macho:** We should go on that 'Yo Momma' show. i have always wanted to meet Wilmer!

**angelface:** Congradulations you two.

_angelface has signed off _

**vampgrl:** OME! He is so hott. We should watch that tomorrow!

**jazzfest:** I AGREE!

**Mr.Macho:** Let's do it!

**tomanyvoices:** I don't find the comedy in that show. But, I have some new music I would like to rehearse, so good-bye.

**Mr.Macho:** This is going to be nifty!

_tomanyvoices has signed off_

**vampgrl:** Did you just say "nifty"?

**jazzfest:** I hear Edward's music. Its so prettiful. Bye.

_jazzfest has signed off_

**Mr.Macho:** Did he just say prettiful?

_icdafuture has signed off_

**vampgrl:** Gee Willikers! i think he did...i'm more concerned with himsaying that than you saying nifty.

**Mr.Macho: **Well duh. He said prettiful for god sakes!

**vampgrl:** Seriously, are we like 100 sure that he'snot gay?

**Mr.Macho:** We should talk him into a lie detector test.

**vampgrl:** We should. Do you think Carlisle has anyway of getting one? Or should Edward see if Charlie can get one?

**Mr.Macho:** I actually think Carlisle has one hiding in his office. When I used o do bad things to get myself in massss trouble, he made me take one.

**vampgrl:** Really now? Hmm...we'll have to talk to him about it first...

**Mr.Macho:** I don't think he will mind. All we say is that we think Jasper is gay and we need the truth!

**vampgrl:** But...what if he is?! What'll Alice do?

**Mr.Macho:** We rent out an entire floor of a hotel, a really nice hotel. If you catch my drift

**vampgrl:** I don't.

**Mr.Macho:** OH C'MON! They need to "bond"

**vampgrl:** OHHHHHHH!

**Mr.Macho:** Damn. Someone is a little slow

**vampgrl:** My mind isn't all here...

**Mr.Macho:** Are you and Edward...you are aren't you?

**vampgrl:** No. Can't you hear him playing the music still?

**Mr.Macho:** Then what are you doing?

**vampgrl:** Lookin' at pictures.

**Mr.Macho:** Of what?

**vampgrl:** Noooooothin'

**Mr.Macho:** TELLLLLL ME! Or I will be forced to give you a noogie

**vampgrl:** Not that it would hurt or anything, because I can hurt you more than you can hurt me! -sticks tongue out-

**Mr.Macho:** Shut up! Not once you aren't a newborn anymore. Then I could take you.

**vampgrl:** Which won't be for like 10 more months! Anyways, I'm looking at pictures on myspace. This really nerdy person added me as a friend.

**Mr.Macho:** Who? Eric Yorkie?

**vampgrl:** No. They're not even from Washington. They're from...Texas. shes not even pretty. and her peictures. EW.

**Mr.Macho:** Then...why did you add her?

**vampgrl:** I wanted more friends.

**Mr.Macho:** Mhm. Of course you did

**vampgrl:** What are you thinking Emmett?

**Mr.Macho:** Nothinnnnnnnnnn.

**vampgrl:** Edward just stopped playing...

**Mr.Macho:** Have funnnnnnnn! Try not to make as much noise as last time. I am getting on Neopets. Good-bye little siser.

_Mr.Macho has signed off_

**vampgrl:** I meant be in fear of your life, because he knew what you're thinking. -shrugs- Oh well. Bed time!

_vampgrl has signed off_


	21. Happy Birthday

**I know its a little bit late. Rebecca's started school, so the only time we're really able to work on anything is when we plan to be online together, or on the weekends when she isn't camping. This isn't a typical chapter either. Which, I'm very sorry for.**

**Happy belated birthday to our wonderful reviewer, Kayla M. This chapter is for you!**

* * *

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Twenty One - Happy Birthday

_squirtgrl has signed on_

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

**squirtgrl:** Its almost time to pick Kayla up! I hope Alice has the party finished.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I was on the phone with her, she was freaking out. But she got it done

**squirtgrl:** Alice was freaking out? o.O

**ARTICHOKIEE:** According to Emmett, when it comes to parties, Alice goes...over the top. But it will be fun!

**squirtgrl: **When did you talk to my future husband?

**ARTICHOKIEE: **When Alice dropped the phone screming at Edward about how the streamers were going the wrong way. Nothing big

**squirtgrl:** I hate you. hehe.

_Kaylabooluvzu has signed on_

**Kaylabooluvzu: **So, are you ladies going to tell me what we're doing today or not?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah. We are going to go see a movie.

**Kaylabooluvzu:** What movie?

**squirtgrl:** I'll be right back. I'm switching to my cell phone.

_squirtgrl has signed off_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** The Dark Knight. I am forcing Lil to see it, and we thought you should come too

**Kaylabooluvzu:** OME! I love that movie! I've seen it like 1000 times!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** WOOOOOOSH! Lil shall now be forced to see it. MWAHAHAHA TO YOU LILIANA

**Kaylabooluvzu:** Uh...she's not on Bec.

_squirtgrl has signed on_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I was in the moment. It was an urge to say

**squirtgrl:** What was?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** We are forcing you to see 'The Dark Knight'

**squirtgrl: **Dammit! Oh, Rebecca, call and let Alice know that we'll be over after the movie.

**Kaylabooluvzu:** Alice?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah, Alice wanted us to have a girls night. Inviting the three of us. I shall call her right now

**Kaylabooluvzu:** I've never hung out with Alice before.

**squirtgrl:** She thought today would be the perfect day.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah. Don't worry Kayla, she is fun to hang out with.

**squirtgrl:** Loads!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** She always gets the best snacks, and the best scary movies

**squirtgrl:** And you KNOW I don't like scary movies!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Heehee, well tonight..SUCK IT UP! WOOOOOOOSH! mwahaha

**squirtgrl:** I got my stuff packed and I'm headed to the car.

**Kaylabooluvzu:** Who's being picked up first?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** It doesn't matter to me. I still need to throw a few things in my bag, so Lil, pick up Kayla first

**Kaylabooluvzu:** i'll be ready in a few!

_Kaylabooluvzu has signed off_

**squirtgrl:** We're going to see a movie? o.O

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Nope. Just needed to get her excited

**squirtgrl:** We're spending the night?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeahh. The party is ending late, and Alice wanted us to stay over.

**squirtgrl:** Booyaka! Glad I live alone then. XD

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I know right? That means we can annoy Edward, with the help of Emmett

**squirtgrl:** EMMETT!? I get to sleep in the same house as four hottie hot hotties? Woot!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** WE ALL DO! WOOOSH!

**squirtgrl:** I hope you know I'm not sleeping tonight. -gigglesnort-

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Heehee, me either. Okay, have you picked up Kayla yet?

**squirtgrl:** Pulling in the drive right now.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Woosh, that means I need to get on my cell phone. And start putting more stuff in my bag.

**squirtgrl:** It'll take us about 15 minutes to get there. With the way I drive. Haha.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Haha, then you should let me drive to the house. YESSSSS PLEASEEEE

**squirtgrl:** Uh...as long as you don't crash my car or get pulled over. I know you don't got your license.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah, but it isn't that long of a drive. And I am a crazy driver, and I just got my temps. So I need my hours(:

**squirtgrl:** Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine. You can drive. There is a train crossing in front of us...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** TELL IT TO MOVE! haha

**squirtgrl:** its fine. i'll be patient. gah! Kayla wants to talk to you.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Then let her talk to me, you are driving! haha

**squirtgrl:** Hey again Rebecca!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Heyyy Kayla!

**squirtgrl:** Just when I get on the phone Emmett calls...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** haha, talk to him!

**squirtgrl:** He didn't want to talk to me.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Well that's not nice. I hope you aren't opposed to me driving, since Lil is a slow driver and all.

**squirtgrl:** She's not slow. She got a ticket the other day, and is trying to keep it on the DL.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** OHHHHHHH. Is that why she has to drive careful?

**squirtgrl:** Yeah. She doesn't want to go to jail or something

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeahh, I can see why. Nobody wants to wind up in jail.

**squirtgrl:** We're heeeeeeeeeeeeeere!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Okay! Let me get on my cell really fast!

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I love speedy sign-ons. haha

**squirtgrl:** What are we going to do when Kayla asks why we're not going to Port Angeles?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Once we hit Forks limits, you are going to blindfold her. DUHHHHHHH. haha

**squirtgrl:** When was I going to get let in on this?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** After I started driving. Now IN THE BACKSEAT WOMAN! haha

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY YET?!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah! I am driving(:

**icdafuture:** Keep an eye out for the trees, Rebecca.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Dammit! Okay...

**squirtgrl:** I swear, if you crash this car you're buying me a new one.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Then maybe you should stop singing Spice Girls in the back there. That would probably give me better attention

**icdafuture: **OME! You're singing Spice Girls too?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** No singing while I am driving! Or else this car will hit a tree, and it would not be my fault.

**squirtgrl:** Fine. -grumble grumble-

**icdafuture:** ARE YOU CLOSE?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yes we are. Lil, blindfold her.

**squirtgrl:** Wow, she screams loud. Turn there!

**icdafuture:** We hear you. We're waiting for you girls. Come in. Everyone'll probably sign off and then after the movies we'll get back on.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh yeah, sorry Lil. We are actually going to see a movie.

**squirtgrl:** Damn you all!

**ARTCHOKIEE:** Mwahaha, Lil is seeing Batman, lalalalaaaaaaaaaa

**squirtgrl:** Gay Superhero!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** TAKE IT BACK, OR THIS CAR WILL HIT A TREE!

**squirtgrl:** I'm sorry Rebecca! Please don't crash my car!!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** You're cars life is spared. Just don't diss my lover!

**squirtgrl:** I won't. I know better...KAYLA HEREEEEEEEE!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Hi Kayla!

**icdafuture:** See you in a few minutes. Wait! I thought you said she was blindfolded!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** She is supposed to be. -turns to glare at Lil- Lilianaaaaaaaaaaaa.

**squirtgrl:** She is. Look to your right, Rebecca.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Wow. She can text while blindfolded. That is a skill you can take far in life.

**icdafuture:** She could be half vampire...

**squirtgrl:** We'll be in in a minute!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Get ready for us! We are carrying bags too!

**icdafuture:** Jasper is coming and so is Emmett.

**squirtgrl:** KAYLA AGAIN! Lil has a lot of bags!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** They are strong vampires, they can handle it. Haha

**icdafuture:** See you in a few.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yupp

_icdafuture has signed off_

**squirtgrl:** So, how hottttt do those two look right now?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Pretty damn good. Lil?

**squirtgrl:** ma'am?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Bella didn't...invite...the dog did she?

**squirtgrl:** Only Alice was planning...I'm not sure if she did or not.

**squirtgrl:** Why honey?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I need to do some planning with either Emmett or Jasper

**squirtgrl:** What the hell are you talking about?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** The dog imprinted on me! It is creeeeeepy

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Just like ugly, creepy, pizza delivery guys

**squirtgrl:** Just because Mike accidently knew that you ordered a pizza...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Him and Eric both showed up! I was slightly disturbed

**squirtgrl:** I know. I was tehre. Remember? You wanted to punch them and then they kept making kissy faces. Then we called the cops!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah...yuck.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** You know I couldn't eat pizza for a week right?

**squirtgrl:** charlie was so shocked when he showed up.

**squirtgrl:** Yeah! Shouldn't we...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** SHouldn't we what?

**squirtgrl:** Go inside.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh yeah, uhm Lil? Kayla doesn't know where she is walking.

**squirtgrl:** Shit...oh my God! Did she just run into the tree?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** You should have been watching her...I am thinking of evil schemes over here. -mischevious grin-

**squirtgrl:** About her or me?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** The dog

**squirtgrl:** Lets go help Kayla and get inside. I want to see Edward.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** And I need to talk to Emmett and Jasper

**squirtgrl:** Don't forget Bella. She's got an evil mind.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh yeahhhh!

_icdafuture has signed on_

**icdafuture:** Are you guys coming in or not?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yeah, we are on our way in nowwwwwwwww

**squirtgrl:** Right after we find Kayla! She disappeared...into the woods.

**icdafuture:** How the hell do you lose one of your friends?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Can you find her Alice?

**icdafuture:** She's heading for La Push.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Can someone run and get her?

**icdafuture:** She crossed the line... I can't see her anymore...

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Dammit, now I have to call the dog.

**squirtgrl:** Be right back. I'll call him.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Okayy. You do that. And I shall get Jasper and Emmett on

_puppylove has signed on_

**puppylove:** hey. Lil said that Kayla was lost. I'm bringing her to you guys.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Thanks Jake

**puppylove:** MRS. BLACK!!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Me and my typing fingers.

**puppylove:** How have you been my love? Oh how I have missed you.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh, how I haven't missed you

**puppylove:** Oh, don't play like htat.

**icdafuture:** You did put yourself into that one.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I know I did. And I damn myself

**puppylove:** Kayla's pretty.

**squirtgrl:** He's only joking.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** He is only joking about what?

**squirtgrl:** He wants you to get jealous

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Haha, thats funny. I can't get jealous

**icdafuture:** Seems like he wants to get you to love him.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** And do you see that happening in my near future? Cause I don't...

**icdafuture:** I see nothing when the wolf is around.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Oh yeah. Dammit.

**icdafuture:** Wow. C'mon now Rebecca!

**puppylove:** I am still here!

**ARTICHOKIEE: **I had a blond moment there. heehee

**squirtgrl:** Not even going to say anything.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I can't help the blond-ness

**squirtgrl:** i know you can't. it comes NATURALLY.

**ARTICHOKIEE: **True dat! Is Kayla back yet?

**puppylove:** I'm looking at your bodacius ass right now.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** AHHHHHHHHHH!

**squirtgrl:** bring Kayla to me, and then leave...dog.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Please. Before I pull some TMNT moves on you. And You will be hurtin where the sun don't shine.

**puppylove:** you didn't tell them, Alice?

**ARTICHOKIEE:** You got fixed? Oh. I am glad the vet took you in!

**icdafuture: **I forgot to tell you that Jacob is...

**puppylove: **I'M INVITED TO THE PARTY!

**icdafuture: **He begged!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I like the fixed theory better.

**squirtgrl:** I do too. I got my ass whooped the last time I fought him.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** I thought you beat him?

**squirtgrl:** I was in the sling for a week!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** But you still kicked his ass.

**squirtgrl:** So!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** So? It was awesome

**icdafuture:** Yup!

**PuppyLove:** See you later ladies. Peace. I need to patrol.

_PuppyLove has signed off_

_Kaylabooluvzu has signed on_

**Kaylabooluvzu:** Are you freakin' serious?! I thought we were going to the movies!

**ARTICHOKIEE:** We are. WOOSH!

_icdafuture has signed off  
_**squirtgrl:** Alright dear, lets go inside and figure out what is going on.

**ARTICHOKIEE:** Yes. Hopefully you remembered the present. Ha!

_squirtgrl has signed off_

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

**Kaylabooluvzu:** C'mon guys!! Damn!

_Kaylabooluvzu has signed off_

* * *

**A/N: Very sorry if this isn't great. Rebecca had to go camping. So, I couldn't do the whole chapter as a chatroom thing. So, I decided that the best way to get the full effect of the story, was to write actual dialogue for it. This will be in the point of view of Kayla. There are two parts to the dialogue!**

Rebecca, Lil, and myself all walked into the gorgeous house. I had never been in the Cullen house before. It was...big. Emmett, Jasper, and Bella had their hands behind their back as they approached us. Lil and Rebecca had stepped back a few feet. Their hands were the same as the other three.

_What are they planning?_

Edward heard me. He shrugged. I eyed the others. Emmett had taken to whistling show tunes. _Not this again!_

I started to walk to the kitchen for somewhere to sit. The living room had nowhere to sit, but the floor. I didn't want to sit on the floor. As soon as I turned my back, I felt the cool on my back. _Silly string._

I thought they were done, so I turned around. Which had been a bad idea. They definitely were not done. I got a face full of silly string. The five of them laughed. Emmett was the loudest. I was going to get them.

"Movie time!" Alice said dancing down the stairs. "We don't have a vehicle that fits eleven though. So, we'll have to split up. Three cars. Emmett, Jasper, Rebecca, and Lil are riding in Emmett's Jeep. Kayla, Bella, Edward, and myself will be in the Volvo. Carlisle, Esme, and Rose will be in the Mercedes."

Rose growled, but Rebecca and Lil were happy. I had an idea of why. Edward started laughing. We all walked to the garage and got in the cars that were appointed to us.

* * *

_squirtgrl has signed on_

_icdafuture has signed on_

_vampgod has signed on  
_

_jusplayinwitu has signed on_

**jusplayinwitu:** So, where's the party at tonight cuz?

**squirtgrl:** JUSTIN!! Everyone on, meet my cousin, Justin Inge.

**vampgod: **Pleasure.

**icdafuture:** Can't wait to see you Justin. We've got a lot going on tonight. You ready to do your part?

**squirtgrl:** o.O

**jusplayinwitu:** Sure am. Can't wait. Just send me the directions to my phone. I'm in Seattle right now.

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed on_

**ARTICHOKIEE: **did ya like it, liliana?

**jusplayinwitu:** Is this Kayla?

**icdafuture: **That's Rebecca. She's my little monster!

**ARTICHOKIEE: **what the hell is going on? who is 'jusplayinwitu'?

**squirtgrl: **You're not the only one that doesn' tknow whats going on. That's Justin, my cousin. He's coming to the party...remember?

**squirtgrl:** I loved the movie, by the way! So, glad you finally talked me into seeing it. I've been so deprived! Christian Bale all the way, bay-bay!

_vampgod has signed off_

_icdafuture has signed off_

_jusplayinwitu has signed off_

_ARTICHOKIEE has signed off_

_squirtgrl has signed off_

--

We walked into the house, from the garage. Everyone was talking about the movie. Some of them had seen it before. I thought that the house looked different than it had when we left. Alice must have done something before we left. That's why she was so late getting out to the car.

There was a big sheet cake on a table. Balloons and wrapped presents sitting on the table beside it. Edward's piano was somewhere. I didn't really care. I just wanted to open my presents. There was a knock at the door once everyone had piled into the living room.

Carlisle opened the door and motioned for one guy to come in. It was Jacob. Jacob Black. Wow. He was kind of cute. Too bad that he imprinted on Rebecca. Edward laughed. I didn't know if it was at me or not.

"I will beat you again, mutt. Stay away from my best friend." I could hear Lil getting protective of us again. She was like a big sister or a mother. Always the oldest though.

"Can I open my presents now?!" I yelled at the group, talking about random things.

Lil and Rebecca exchanged side glances. I could see evilness gleaming in their eyes. Those would be the last presents to open. Emmett jumped around excited. Everyone else just seemed...calm.

Emmett and Jasper sat side-by-side between Jacob and Rebecca, with Lil on the other side. All protecting her from Jacob. It was pretty amusing.

Alice danced over to the table and grabbed the first present off the table. I looked at the tag. It was from...her. I tore through the pretty wrapping paper with ease. There was a box...with handcuffs. I looked at her. She looked innocent. I didn't like it. There was something that at least a few of them knew. That same glimmer of evil was in their eyes.

Jacob got up and pulled a velvet bag from his pocket. He handed it to me. I opened it gently. There was a pretty necklace. It was hemp with a wood-carved tulip hanging from it. I smiled at him appreciative. I was saving my thank-you's for later.

Jasper grabbed a box from the table. It was pretty wrapping paper. That is all I really paid attention to. I tore through it as well. It was a pink cape. My eyes opened wide. It was just what I wanted. There was a note at the bottom of the box.

_Even the humans can be wooshing-weiners too. Join Em and I sometime.  
-Jazzyfizzle-_

I laughed and gave him a hug. Should I have done that though? Oh well. Next present!

Edward heard this thought and stood up. There was a small box. I immediately knew what it was without opening it. A CD. "My rendition of a few classics." He smiled and then sat down. I opened it and it was a CD, home-made. All with some really good compositions by Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven. There was even his version of happy birthday. He was a trip. Perfect in every way, but still a trip.

"Where is he?" I heard Lil ask Alice. Sounded like she was trying to be conspicuous, but not really succeeding at it. She never was. The dye was wearing out of her hair. You could see the blond. Why she wanted to fry her brain, I had no clue.

"Careful. He'll be here."

"When?" It was Rebecca that asked this time. Dammit. I really did hate my friends sometimes.

"Shut up! Next gift please." Had to voice my opinion of their incessant rambling.

Nobody stood up though. I walked over the table myself, grabbing a small box from Rosalie. I opened it up and found a beautiful pair of dangling earrings. They were precious.

I grabbed another small box next. Esme and Carlisle watched me open it. Each had a smile on their face. I saw it, but I didn't know what it was to. A key. I'd make someone tell me later.

There were only three more presents on the table, but I hadn't gotten anything from four of them. Emmett stood up and walked out of the room. He looked bored. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the present from Bella off the table. It was very ironic. Brom Stroker's, Dracula. I had no choice but to laugh at this. I wasn't the only one though. I'm sure that Jacob wouldn't have laughed, but he followed Rebecca. He was getting annoying really fast.

Emmett came back in the room. He had whip cream cans in his hand. I raised an eyebrow at him. He had to be crazy.

"You're not spraying me with that."

"Of course he wouldn't, dear. He knows he would be cleaning it up if he made a mess of my house." Esme said glaring directly at Emmett. I could feel the intensity of her gaze.

I sighed. I had two more presents to open. I didn't know if I wanted to open Rebecca's or Lil's last.

"You have three presents left, Kayla. Not two. The other one should be here in..."

There was a knock on the door. Alice rose and opened the door. She flitted like a hummingbird. I could see her point toward me. I couldn't see who or what she was doing.

I heard a male singing. A serenade. Just what I wanted. This was annoying. His words were so beautiful.

_Late at night_

_When all the world_

_Is sleeping_

_I stay up and think of you_

_And I wish on a star_

_That somewhere you are_

_Thinking of me too._

_Cause I'm dreamin' of you tonight..._

I recognized the song though. Selena. Wow. He could really sing though. Whatever, it was time to open Rebecca's present.

It was a little bag, from Victoria Secret. I didn't want to know. I shook my head but peered inside anyway. I pulled out a loose yellow...thing. It was lacy and...see-through. I was going to kill her. I would have to think of ways. Maybe Bella wasn't over her attraction to human blood. I smiled at the thought.

There was one last present. It was over with then. A book. It looked simple. That is, until I opened it. My smile sunk into a deep frown. _Kama Sutra._

Edward erupted into laughter, just like everyone else. The guy that had been singing came in. I immediately fell in love with him. I knew him. I had always had a crush on him. He could have been Channing Tatum's identical twin. It was Lil's cousin.

Esme and Carlisle saw the look in my eye. Just like everyone else. "The key is to your new apartment. The apartment belongs to the both of you. Its been bought. You don't have to worry about anything. Justin will take care of you."

My jaw dropped and I knew what all these presents were about. They all knew that I was going to fall in love.I'm going to kill them. Kill them all I tell you!

"Horror movies and cake!" Alice announced before turning the lights out.

"Yay." I clapped. A lapse in my momentary anger. Oh well. This was the best birthday ever.

"Oh! Everyone. One...Two...Three."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYLA M.!!" They all shouted it to me. A smile on my face. Definatley the best birthday ever.

* * *

**Sorry for my lame-ness. Please forgive me. Rebecca'll be back soon. We'll have a better chapter up next. I'm a dialogue whore I think. :** R&R!

* * *


	22. Hungry Hungry Hippos

**kanga and little roo.**

Oh Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Twenty-Two -- Hungry Hungry Hippos

_{{__ has signed on}}_

_{{tomanyvoices has signed on}}_

**:** OH MY DAMN!

**tomanyvoices: **What?

_{{__vampgrl has signed on}}_

**vampgrl: **hello baby. hello brother.

**: **BELLA! I have discovered the most incredible discovery in the entire universe!

**vampgrl:** What the hell?!

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett found our old Hungry Hungry Hippo's game.

_{{__jazzfest has signed on}}_

**jazzfest:** Familia! -very effeminate voice-

**vampgrl:** Hey jazzy. Why would he do that?

**: **JASPER! Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippo's!

**jazzfest: **Oh em gee! Yes! So totally!

**tomanyvoices:** Jasper?

**jazzfest:** Mmhm?

**jazzfest:** What can I do ya for Eddy-weddy-poo?

**tomanyvoices:** Is there something you want to tell everyone?

**jazzfest: **I just got back from...the mall...with...Alice...we got...mani-pedi's

**vampgrl:** OME. You've got to be joking.

**:** What's wrong with that?

**vampgrl:** Edward, would you like to explain?

**tomanyvoices: **Not at all.

**vampgrl:** I...meaning we...worry about Jasper. I think he's going a little bit overboard with the gay thing.

**:** Wait...what?

**jazzfest:** I'm not gay. Just...gay. *giggles*

**:** JASPER! I was going to play Hungry Hungry Hippo's with you!

**jazzfest:** Then come here stud. Rawr.

**:** You need alone time with Alice! In a bed! With....nothing but a smile on!

**jazzfest:** Shush. Bella...you're making me want to do naughty things to Edward. *giggles*

**tomanyvoices:** Bella. Please stop while we try to figure this out

**vampgrl:** Figure what out?

**tomanyvoices:** This phase Jasper is going through

**vampgrl:** He's being himself.

**:** I still want to play Hungry Hungry Hippo's.

**vampgrl:** Lets play then!

**tomanyvoices:** Fine by me

**jazzfest:** Hungry Hungry Hippo's. Its really really fun! Yeah!

**:** You know what? I want to read a book. GOOSEBUMPS!

**vampgrl:** You can read?

**:** In seven different languages

**vampgrl:** I don't believe that, Emmett. Anyways. Lets go play HHH while we're watching Goosebumps. Its on TV!

**:** Are. You. Serious.?! WHAT THE HELL ARE WE SITTING HERE FOR!

**vampgrl:** Get the laptops and come downstairs here.

**jazzfest:** Oh em gee. Yes! Lets!

**tomanyvoices:** I think I am going to play piano for a bit...

**:** I bet you I can beat you ALL downstairs!

**vampgrl:** I'm already down here. *sticks tongue out*

**jazzfest:** Aw, Eddy. Why don't you wanna play with us? *pouts*

**tomanyvoices:** No thanks.

**:** Damn you, Bella! Jasper I will beat you!

**jazzfest:** Okay!

**vampgrl:** Why not baby?

**tomanyvoices:** Just because.

**:** I WON!

**vampgrl:** Edward!

**jazzfest:** I let you win.

**:** Nahh, you can't beat the almighty, over-powering Emmett.

**jazzfest:** Whatever.

**:** Don't give me that tude girlfriend

**Jazzfest:** Oh no you dinnit!

**vampgrl:** I can't deal with this. I give up. I'm just going to watch Goosebumps while you two play.

**:** See what you did -Pedi?!

**Jazzfest:** The smell...soothes me.

**:** Yeah, of course.

_{{__tomanyvoices has signed off}}_

**vampgrl:** Look what you two did! You chased my husband away!

**:** Well the Sooth master shouldn't have scared him away

**Jazzfest:** Do you have a problem with my gay-ness?

**:** No. I have a problem with you when you ruin my game of Hungry Hungry Hippo's!

**vampgrl:** Are you ignoring the fact that he just admitted to being gay?

**Jazzfest:** Play then ho-bag!

**:** I know you did NOT just call me a ho-bag!

**Jazzfest:** Did to, ho-bag.

**vampgrl:** Honestly, aren't we grown up enough to know that calling each other names is stupid?

**:** I don't even want to hear names out of you Jasper! You little slutcan!

**jazzfest:** Slutcan? You're truly dimwitted, ho-bag.

**vampgrl:** Stop it! Both of you!

**:** Shut up, Slutty McSlut Slut

_{{__icdafuture has signed on}}_

**icdafuture:** Where's...ahhh! Are you watching worms on the television?

**:** Yes, sister. I am

**icdafuture:** Yuck. Nasty ass.

**:** What? I am not as nasty as YOUR slutcan.

**vampgrl:** Alice, do you see yourself locked in a hotel room with Jasper anytime soon?

**icdafuture:** Yes I do Bells. He may be a slutcan, but I love him.

**jazzfest:** Aww. I love you too Ally-boo.

**:** ALLY-BOO! NOT NORMAL.

**icdafuture:** Just as normal as you calling Rosalie, Rose petal-pumpkin tits.

**:** That name is behind clsed doors and under blankets!

**icdafuture:** Maybe you should tell her that.

**vampgrl:** Yeah, she spills more than you think.

**:** What she wants to say in public is her decision

**vampgrl:** Like just last night she told us about your little fetish with her feet. That's gross.

**icdafuture:** Speaking of feet! Jazz...how are your feet feeling?

**:** You are all wrongs in TWISTED little ways!

**vampgrl:** you're the one that was licking her feet Emmett!

**:** Atleast they don't smell bad like a certain girl who was human a couple months ago! Yeah that's right Bella! You're feet STUNK!

**icdafuture:** Jazz, why are you smelling everyone's feet?

**jazzfest:** Why do you wanna kiss Bella?

**vampgrl:** Emmett, I think its time for the intervention.

**:** I agree, stinky-feet.

**vampgrl:** Grow. Up. Get everyone on.

**:** Whatever you say, COmmander Stink foot

**icdafuture:** What the hell are you talking about guys?

**vampgrl:** Okay. Well, since Esme and Carlisle are out, I guess we just need Edward and Rosalie on. *shrugs*

**:** You are right, Fungus Foot!

**vampgrl:** I'll go get them. Be right back.

**icdafuture:** Why do you keep calling her that. She smells wonderful.

: When she was human! Did you not smell her feet?

**icdafuture:** Why would I want to?

**:** How could you not smell them? They were foul!

**icdafuture:** Stop picking on the girl. She's been nothing but nice to you, Emmett.

**Jazzfest:** Lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa

**:** She picked on me for Rose petal-pumpkin tits.

**icdafuture:** We both did. Shut up. She's coming back.

**:** You were the one who was typing.

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**icdafuture:** Yeah so.

**vampgrl:** Emmett, would you like me to explain why I had them all get on?

**:** No. But Alice can!

**tomanyvoices:** Oh, this will be good.

**angelface**: Stop being so smug, Edward.

**icdafuture:** My husband...is gay.

**angelface**: ...I see.

**tomanyvoices:** Mhm...

**:** ROSE PETAL-PUMPKIN TITS!

**angelface:** Hi, dear.

**vampgrl:** Way to state the obvious, Alice.

**Jazzfest:** lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**:** Enough with the gay superhero!

**Jazzfest:** I'm not gay. Just gay! *giggles*

**vampgrl:** Anyways, as we were saying. Its time for an intervention. Jasper has gone overboard.

**angelface:** Way overboard...

**:** I CALL FOR WHIPPED CREAM, and CHOCOLATE, oh! And Alice and Jasper LOCKED IN A CLOSET

**vampgrl:** I think, that we should actually have him admit to his...gay-ness.

**:** I like my idea better

**vampgrl**: i don't

**:** Well, that is because you are opposed to fun, stank-foot

**angelface:** As fun as this is...I think I am going.

**tomanyvoices:** What did you call my wife?

**vampgrl:** uh...he's been going on like that all day, dear.

**tomanyvoices**: But..why?

**vampgrl:** Happy Feet! Uh...because he said that my feet stunk as a human.

**:** OH MY DAMN! I love Happy Feet!

**vampgrl:** I do too. That's why I switched it on the television. Durh.

**Jazzfest:** If it'll make you happy, I'm not gay. I'm bi.

**tomanyvoices:** I don't even think that would satisfy Alice...

**angelface:** Yeah..

**:** Lalalalaa-OH NO.

**icdafuture:** I love my Jazzy, the way he is.

**vampgrl:** Hahahaha. You're so in denial Jasper.

**Jazzfest:** Hahah. Gotcha Emmett.

**:** Wait...what?

**angelface:** Huh?

**tomanyvoices:** Pointless

**vampgrl:** I'm confused.

**icdafuture:** so, what about this hotel room?

**:** Is this some cruel joke?

**angelface:** No idea, dear.

**tomanyvoices:** ALice, you and Jasper are going to spend some time at the hotel.

**icdafuture:** Ooo. Which?

**vampgrl:** Wait...

**tomanyvoices:** Uhm, the really nice one.

**:** Wait..huh?

**angelface:** Carlisle's car started stuttering yesterday..

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**icdafuture:** lets pack!

**jazzfest:** Just pack that frilly green thing.

**tomanyvoices:** Please stop picturing you're guys' time alone together.

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**vampgrl:** Soooo...Edward....

**tomanyvoices:** Beat you to the room.

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**vampgrl:** Bye Emmett. Love you!

_{{__vampgrl has signed off}}_

**:** Well, back to goosbumps.

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	23. Fire & Ice

**This chapter came from the most random of thoughts ever.  
Warning! This chapter is **_**SLASH-TASTIC!**_

Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;  
Chapter Twenty-Three -- Fire & Ice

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**puppylove:** -whistles-

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**tomanyvoices:** Who let the dogs out?

**puppylove:** Apparently you. -wink-

**tomanyvoices: **AHHH.

**puppylove:** Edward, you should really stop denying it.

**tomanyvoices:** I have nothing to deny.

**puppylove:** I've played this off long enough. I didn't imprint on Rebecca, and you know it.

**puppylove:** You felt it too, Edward. I know you did!

**tomanyvoices: **Poor Rebecca. I feel her pain.

**puppylove:** i know you don't want bells to find out, but...Eddy...We need each other.

**tomanyvoices:** NO WE DON'T!

**puppylove:** denying something only makes it that much truer, Baby.

**tomanyvoices:** Did you just call me baby.

**puppylove:** What else would i call you?

**tomanyvoices: **Edward, leech, ANYTHING but baby and Eddy!

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**puppylove: **Stop being a dick, Eddy Baby.

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**tomanyvoices:** Do not call me Eddy Baby!

**:** ...

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**puppylove:** Edward...you're...making me...cry

**tomanyvoices: **I'm sor-GOOD!

**puppylove:** You were just going to say that you were sorry...

**tomanyvoices:** No I wasn't.

**puppylove:** "I'm sor-GOOD!"

**tomanyvoices:** Because I was laughing, I couldn't keep a straight face.

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**puppylove:** Edward, you're telling me you don't love me...aren't you?

**icdafuture:** ...wtf?!

**tomanyvoices:** I love y-Bella.

**icdafuture:** MY BROTHER IS GAYYYYYYY! -runs off to tell everyone -

**puppylove:** You do love me?

**tomanyvoices:** NO!

**puppylove: **Are you saying htat to me or Alice?

_{{icdafuture has went Away}}_

**Auto Response from icdafuture:** E-to the-DWARD is G-to the double-A-Y!

**tomanyvoices:** YOU! Why would you think I would love you? I love Bella.

**puppylove:** I'll just go off and cry...I mean...Edward...I love you like the sun comes up in the morning and sets in the evening.

**tomanyvoices: **I can't wait till the sun se- burns out!

**puppylove:** What was that?

**tomanyvoices:** I can't wait till the sun burns out. As in goes out forever. Cause then you will be gone.

**puppylove:** I will just leave then. You certainly don't seem to care about me or how I feel for youuuuu.

**tomanyvoices:** JACOB DON'T GO!

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**angelface:** Hey, Edward.

**tomanyvoices:** I have been lying to myself!

**angelface: **Oh my damn! ALice was right!

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**puppylove:** You mean? -big smile-

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**tomanyvoices:** Yes, Jacob!

**puppylove:** I love you, Edward Cullen.

**tomanyvoices:** I love you too, Jacob Black.

**vampgrl:** What the hell?! Edward?! I...

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**puppylove:** Everything about you just brightens up my day, Eddy.

**tomanyvoices:** Like the way I sparkle?

**puppylove:** Even when the sun does not shine, you sparkle to me.

**tomanyvoices:** Exactly, sweet cheeks.

**puppylove:** Why were you denying it, babe?

**tomanyvoices:** The love I had for Bella.

**puppylove:** had? As in past tense?

**tomanyvoices:** I think you know what I mean.

**puppylove:** I want to get this clear, my love.

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**jazzfest:** Why is Bella breaking stuff?

**tomanyvoices:** I'M GAY, JAZZY!

**jazzfest:** You too?

**tomanyvoices:** Yes, Jasper.

**jazzfest:** And all this time! We've been together in this family forever now, and you just turn me down, but you go after a MUTT. -runs off-

**puppylove:** So...you don't love her anymore?

**tomanyvoices:** Let's include Jazzy! He probably feels so lonely.

**puppylove:** Sexy.

**jazzfest:** Really?

**tomanyvoices:** Of course. It will be sexy

**tomanyvoices:** Maybe we could get Emmett to join to.

**puppylove:** Are we going to consumate our love, or should we just...keep it...chill for now?

**jazzfest:** Hmm...I don't know if he would.

**tomanyvoices:** Let us keep it chill for now

**puppylove:** Damn. Well, at least can we watch Brokeback?

**tomanyvoices:** That is my favorite!

**puppylove:** OME! LIke Mine too!

**jazzfest:** Wanna ask Emmett?

**icdafuture:** I can't believe this shit!?

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**tomanyvoices:** I'll ask him!

**puppylove:** I want to see what he says.

**tomanyvoices:** Somebody ask him to get on, if I do, it will blw my cover.

**jazzfest:** Be right bizz-ack.

**tomanyvoices:** I'll be waiting

**puppylove:** Now...where were we cutie?

**tomanyvoices:** I'm not allowed to say.

**puppylove:** Why's that?

**tomanyvoices:** Just cause.

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**:** This better be good.

**tomanyvoices:** EMMY!

**puppylove:** Hello other sexy vampire man.

**jazzfest:** Sealed and Delivered.

**:** I WILL NEVER TURN GAAAAAAAAAAAY!

**puppylove:** Who said anything about being gay?

**:** Alice

**puppylove:** What does she know?

**jazzfest:** Eddddddddy!

**tomanyvoices:** I know, Jazzy.

**:** Alot of things.

**puppylove:** Not enough.

**jazzfest:** Now.

**:** No.

**tomanyvoices:** Come on, Emmett!

**puppylove:** Ask him.

**tomanyvoices:** Emmett...

**:** No.

**jazzfest:** just listen Em.

**:** Okay, I'm listening

**puppylove:** *high pitch giggle*

**:** OH MY GOD! THEY WERE RIGHT!

**puppylove:** I was being tickled, Gee. Just listen to Edward.

**tomanyvoices:** So, Emmett...we were all thinking

**puppylove:** sayyyyyyy

**jazzfest:** itttttt!

**:** Jasper. Tell me.

**jazzfest:** Stop being a pussy Edward. I'm not saying it. I went to get him.

**tomanyvoices:** Fine. Emmett, will you be gay with us?

**:** No.

**puppylove:** But...

**:** NOOOOOOO...maybe...okay.

**jazzfest:** What...really?

**:** I guess. It is just a phase we are all going through anyway

**puppylove:** Baby! Do you see this...we can have an orgy now!

**tomanyvoices:** I just wanted to watch Brokeback!

**puppylove:** I thought you loved me!?

**tomanyvoices:** I do! Just no orgy's tonight

**puppylove:** Tomorrow niiiiight?

**jazzfest:** Damn. He's not the only one that wanted one.

**:** DID EDWARD SAY BROKEBACK?!

**puppylove:** Of course!

**tomanyvoices:** LET'S GET IN OUR PJ'S!

**puppylove:** It'll take ages for me to get over there.

**jazzfest:** Got a problem with Brokeback Em?

**:** No. I love that movie!

**puppylove:** Does any of my lovers want to come and get me? -wink wink-

**:** RUN, PUP! We are getting ready for our man night.

**puppylove:** And the ladies?

**tomanyvoices:** We will send them away

**puppylove: **I love you, Edward.

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**:** MOOOOOOOOOVIE NIGHHHHHHT!

**tomanyvoices:** PILLOW FIGHTS TOO!

_{{ has signed off}}_

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**jazzfest: **Oh Em...Eee. This is like my total dream come true. Somebody pinch me! Damn, we should have thought about asking Carlisle.

_{{jazzfest has signed off}}_


	24. AN: Uh oh

**A/N: This is a message to all of my readers.**

**Firstly, I would like to apologize for the fact that I haven't updated in awhile. My laptop has went ka-put on me. Everything that I was working on at the time, at home...was saved on there. I was only working on 3 different stories at school and I can't get on FF here at school, its blocked.**

**Secondly, my grandfather is in the hospital after having multiple heartattacks. I'm going to be spending as much time as I can there with him.**

**I hope that you all are faithful readers, and hold out as much as you can. If there are any questions that you want asked...it will be quite hard for me to answer for now, at least until I get my new phone.**

**Again, I am very sorry about all of this. I promise you that I will update these stories as soon as I can.**

**Feel free to email me if you wish at (lilyinthevally0ATyahooDOTcom). It'll take me a shorter time to check them than my pms. Of course, you can always add me on AIM, Y!IM, or MSN. I have all three.**

**aim: ixlovexlucius**

**yahoo: lilyinthevally0**

**msn: cutieDOTbabyDOTdAThotmailDOTcom **

**Thank you all for being dedicated readers to my stories.**

** Lil**

**PS: please get rid of "AT" and "DOT" in the msn addy and the email. Thanks.**


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